friend with benefits getting more serious

[princess123]

ok , this is my first post so I might give too much information... but here goes.

 

Im 30 and divorced single mom. My friend is 25 and never been married but just out of a 6 year relationship.

 

we started out as strickly friends with benefits. I suggested it, he said no at first. very hesitant, but then agreed. we talked for about 2 weeks all the time. I knew almost everything about him. and him me. I picked him up, we went to hotel and had some fun, then went home. We work together every day for 8 hours a day alone. he started out calling me a week after this happened each night and we talk for at least 3 hours. We made rules kinda where we dont kiss and we dont get to just have sex with anyone else whenever.

 

weve done a couple quickies at work, which i was ok with. He started telling me he loves me. then laughs about it... i never said it back. i told him to choose his words wisely.. he responded.. you can love your friends....

 

One weekend he called me and asked if i wanted to stop by. I did.. had some "fun" then i went home. Everyone around us just thinks really good friends. We started going out now and again on the weekends.. ( this is about 3 months into it) We went to a strip club.. ( btw soo much fun ) went to clubs.. dancing... concerts.... kearaoke... even watched each other get nipple rings together.

 

to be honest.. I am liking him alot more then I should as just FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. he still speaks to his ex. and she knows about me but only thinks friends.. She cheated on him, is why they broke up. She loves hima nd wants him back. they were each others firsts.. so. thats pretty big. and together for 6 years. He says every day that he just wants her to leave him alone.. she sends him like literally 60 text messages a day.. he responds to about 5 of them. my advice to him is just to ignore her 100% he keeps saying its not that easy.. his mom wants them back together. and his mom invites her over now and again.

 

the thing is.. we have lots of fun together.. LOTS OF FUN we have lots of similar interests.. its great. One night a week ago, I went out with my cousin (girl) to a party.. which ended up being just her and I and 3 other guys. my friend called me.. he got mad. and he said he was worried about me because I was in an unsafe place and having some drinks with guys i didnt know. I tried to tell him i was fine. he got angry..

after that night.. he finally told me it was just cause he was jealous and really worried. i told him nothing happend just a little cards and basketball .. he seemed fine with it.

 

He has started pretending to try to kiss me lately.. but i will move my mouth and tell him to watch himself.. he laughs and asks me why i wont kiss him.. well i wont kiss him because I really like him. and i dont want to make things harder then they are. STUPID i know but still.. grrrrrrr

 

What is the best way to handle this ? Do i tell him i like him (alot for real) or leave things? or break things off? HELP

[blueberry sundae]

So you have sex without kissing? Like on Pretty Woman?

Really, this man has to make a grand gesture of asking you out, and you being consistent.

You have to be willing not to contact him and not be available to him for awhile, especially booty calls. Get The Rules, follow it, and he will respond. You really have to be unavailable to him. He will ask you out and respect you and pursue you like a man for a relationship if he is interested, but for now you definitely have to let him come to you (and not at the last minute, and not as a booty call.) In other words, he calls on a Wednesday evening and asks if he can take you to dinner and a movie on Saturday. No "hanging out."

This process will continue until he sees your world isn't wrapped around him and he starts falling for your other characteristics besides other ones (sex.)

I'd wait at least a month of this behavior. People are going to post on here and disagree and say that you can't just stop having sex after you've already started it, but that is bull. You can....if you really want him, that is, for more than a booty call.

[princess123]

thats what i am saying. its really lots more then that already.. we do lots of things that dont involve sex.

 

and i have to work with this guy every day for 8 hours a day. lol alone.. thats going to be hard.

 

and when he calls me at night ? we talk for nearly 3hours am I suppose to cut that out too?

 

the thing that I think works.. is we are completly honest.. or so far as i can tell anyways. I have become really good friends with his sister too.. she keeps asking why were not a couple.. but we jsut smile.

 

 

part of me jsut wants to put it out there and ask what he thinks.. the other part of me wants to do what you say. but then he will think im uninterested. not that great of self esteem.. even though he is a hottie.