Shy guys and interest

[dedo]

How do I tell the difference between a shy guy showing interest and playing hard to get?

 

I guess thats a weird question....my guy is giving me mixed signals and I am trying to decifer them. he is either not interested, interested but shy, or playing hard to get. But I dont know which it is!

 

Background: he and I dated for 1.5 years. We had awesome sex. He dumped me for another girl. Other girl and him fought like cats and dogs - she dumped him. He feels guilty for dumping me and what we had together. I give him NC for 6 months, then start to regain contact slowly as I want him back. We email only for 3 months. Then slowly i start to invite him to a movie etc. He is receptive to friends only.

 

I am trying to show that I dont have any interest in him, that I dont want to date him (but I so do).

 

Mixed signals:

 

1. he invited me out one day to an event, wanted to know desperatly if I would be there. he was showing interest. I said yes I will be there. He shows up at event....but tells me he invited another girl...she doesnt show up. ??

 

2. He invites me to another event, same thing, wants to know if I am going. This time, I am vague, maybe I will, maybe not. We both have a great time together. Then he doesnt speak to me for days afterwards.

 

3. I ask him if he would like to come to my xmas party as a friend. He says it would be too awkward. If he doesnt want a relationship with me and has no feelings for me as he states....why would it be awkward? Unless he does have feelings!

 

4. I ask him if he'd like to go to a halloween party as my friend. he says that its hard to say what he is doing that day. But his answer is leaning towards a yes. But he will let me know the day of the party!!! wtf???

 

I know that he has feelings for me, but just doesnt want to show it. He is scared to be close friends as he knows he will fall for me. I see it in his eyes and his body language of looking at me...in certain places.

[Trialbyfire]

There's nothing shy about this guy. He's leading you around by the ring through the bottom of your nose. Stop being a doormat.

[Lee725]

If you are interested in him but dont show it and vice versa, sounds like both of you are throwing out mixed signals..... It will never get sorted out if no-one is being straight up.