Do all women eventually end up resenting their husbands?

[OldEurope]

Hello Woggs,

 

Tell me, does the "reappearance" of your ex wife have anything to do with this? If I recall correctly, in another post you could not get her "out of your mind" and something about adventurous Bonnie and Clyde days pre...uh...shooting incident...

 

The truth please: Do you still harbor affection and are you looking for an excuse to perhaps end your relationship with your current wife despite your protestations of love?

 

 

OE

[Cobra_X30]

His whole approach reminds me of the definition of insanity -- doing the same thing the same way and expecting to get different results!

 

I agree with you Curm!

 

To me that doesnt mean it will always be that way, nor do I see him as unredeemable.

 

We tend to do that to males in our society. Rub some dirt on it. Oh, it still hurts... get over it or get lost.

 

Is that how we want things to be?

[JackJack]

Just out of curiosty, where is your wife Woggle, when you make these posts? I'm assuming she isn't around.

 

What do you think her reaction would be if she read these posts and replies?

[Cobra_X30]

Just out of curiosty, where is your wife Woggle, when you make these posts? I'm assuming she isn't around.

 

What do you think her reaction would be if she read these posts and replies?

 

 

Resentment?

[JackJack]

Resentment?

 

 

Well if he is considering divorce, then letting her read all of this, might do the trick for him.

[Woggle]

She would not like these posts. My ex probably has something to do with it and in some sick way there are still some feelings there but I know I would have to be out of my mind to even talk to her again. I think it mostly has to do with my two friend's divorces and some of the stuff I read online.

[JackJack]

She would not like these posts. My ex probably has something to do with it and in some sick way there are still some feelings there but I know I would have to be out of my mind to even talk to her again. I think it mostly has to do with my two friend's divorces and some of the stuff I read online.

 

Are these those sites you mentioned before going to? Why can't you seem to stay awy from those kinds of things?

[Cobra_X30]

Well if he is considering divorce, then letting her read all of this, might do the trick for him.

 

Well if opening up and allowing her to see his fears doubts and insecurities is all that it would take to drive her away, that isnt love.

 

I wouldnt want a woman like that! Would you?

 

You want to be married to someone you cant share your emotions with? To always wear a mask and put on a show?

[Trialbyfire]

Well if opening up and allowing her to see his fears doubts and insecurities is all that it would take to drive her away, that isnt love.

 

I wouldnt want a woman like that! Would you?

 

You want to be married to someone you cant share your emotions with? To always wear a mask and put on a show?

If you begin your relationship that way and never show your inner self, what do you suppose will happen? Sound like Woggle?

[Curmudgeon]

My ex probably has something to do with it and in some sick way there are still some feelings there but I know I would have to be out of my mind to even talk to her again.

 

...you married your wife under false pretenses since you have not forsaken all others. You still have feelings for your ex.

 

I think you're out of your mind regardless. You continue to permit your ex to have heavy influence over you and to intrude on your marriage.

[Cobra_X30]

If you begin your relationship that way and never show your inner self, what do you suppose will happen? Sound like Woggle?

 

?

 

What exactly are you implying?

 

You cant show all of yourself right off the bat. It takes time.

[DazedandConfused66]

?

 

What exactly are you implying?

 

You cant show all of yourself right off the bat. It takes time.

 

Uh, that's what a committed engagement is for?

[Trialbyfire]

?

 

What exactly are you implying?

 

You cant show all of yourself right off the bat. It takes time.

Yes, you slowly open up to someone....before...you get married. In not being honest with someone about who you are, sure, you can fool them but only for so long. In continuing the pretence, it erodes on your self-worth. "She'll leave me if I show who I am".

[Cobra_X30]

Uh, that's what a committed engagement is for?

 

I'm not really sure what you point is. That really doesnt have anything to do with what I said. I just stated that it takes time.

 

Yeah, great do it during an engagement or whatever. The point is that it takes time. Beyond that things can change.

 

Here is my point. I want to be accepted for who and what I am. If a woman is unable or unwilling to do that.... thats her problem not mine... and there is the door!

 

Does that make sense?

 

Seriously. Any of you guys who expect to enter into a marriage with the idea that 1. You know every thought, doubt, fear, and dream of your SO, is unrealistic at best. Plus, if you think that your SO, wont change... wont have any new thoughts, dreams, doubts, fears... ect... Well, thats unrealistic also.

 

Therefore you must be willing to understand and accept.

[JackJack]

Your wife does know how you feel right Woggle? I mean she does know how you feel about women in general?

 

What I don't get is, how is it you have a decent relationship with her, without you coming across to her like you do on these posts?

 

When you're with her, in a intimate way, what goes through your mind when you look at her? That you love her and shes the best woman in the world? Or do you look at her and think, she's just like the rest of women out there? Does hatred all past things that were done to you rise up in your heart and mind?

[Trialbyfire]

Cobra, you can't hide all of you, like Woggle has. He's got enough self-worth issues that he doesn't need to fight with himself, while attempting to engage in a committed relationship.

[Cobra_X30]

Yes, you slowly open up to someone....before...you get married. In not being honest with someone about who you are, sure, you can fool them but only for so long. In continuing the pretence, it erodes on your self-worth. "She'll leave me if I show who I am".

 

Yes, thats the truth of it!

 

In summation:

 

Woggle fears his wife will leave and hurt him!

 

JackJack says that if he shares that fear with her... she will!

 

Does that not just validate everything that Woggle said earlier? Eventually, she will see inside. He cant wear that mask forever. So she will then leave?

 

What Woggle needs to do is ignore crappy ideas like that and start openly communicating with his wife!

[Trialbyfire]

Yes, thats the truth of it!

 

In summation:

 

Woggle fears his wife will leave and hurt him!

 

JackJack says that if he shares that fear with her... she will!

 

Does that not just validate everything that Woggle said earlier? Eventually, she will see inside. He cant wear that mask forever. So she will then leave?

 

What Woggle needs to do is ignore crappy ideas like that and start openly communicating with his wife!

One way to address the majority of his issues, is to seriously work on his self-worth, instead of blaming everyone under the sun for his lack of self-worth. While I'm not a believer in self-flagellation, I do believe that you have to be brutally honest with yourself, therefore admit you have problems, so you can work on your problems, instead of running away from them.

[JackJack]

JackJack says that if he shares that fear with her... she will!

 

*He is the one that was comteplating divorce. He also said he did not know how he would tell her.

 

*If he wants out, letting her read these posts, might give him what he wants, OUT. It will then give her the choice to stay or leave. Sure he can also do that be telling her verbally. Its which ever he decides to do. Letting her read these posts was a suggestion, not set in stone.

 

*I don't know for sure if she WILL or not after reading his posts if thats what he chooses to do.

 

What Woggle needs to do is ignore crappy ideas like that and start openly communicating with his wife!

 

A crappy idea?

[EnigmaXOXO]

Tell me, does the "reappearance" of your ex wife have anything to do with this? If I recall correctly, in another post you could not get her "out of your mind" and something about adventurous Bonnie and Clyde days pre...uh...shooting incident...

 

The truth please: Do you still harbor affection and are you looking for an excuse to perhaps end your relationship with your current wife despite your protestations of love?

 

I thought the same thing, OE ... along about page two of Wogs thread. But worried I couldn’t word it correctly without it coming off as sounding rude.

 

Perhaps the issue has caused an undercurrent in the marriage and now Wogs is worried he has (or will) do something to make his wife “resent” him. Now he’s looking for a quick exit (???) via the “poor me” victim routine.

 

So what’s really going on with you Woggle? :confused:

[PandorasBox]

Your ex might have something to do with it? Is she the one who went to jail or got arrested for trying to kill you? I remember that story, but wasn't sure exactly what it was.

 

You're not involved with her again are you?

[Mr. Lucky]

"We live in a society that has become nearly incapable of independent thought"

 

Woggle, I hope you recognize that quote because, somewhat ironically, it's YOUR signature. You keep talking about "all women" and "all marriages" and "all my friends tell me" - aren't you capable of thinking about your wife and your marriage independently?

 

I do not recall reading one post from you about how your wife has mistreated you or given you cause to doubt her love or fidelity. It seems to me that you are guilty of the same herd mentality that you post laments. Beyond that, I don't see any way that this mindset benefits you or your marriage...

 

Mr. Lucy

[Woggle]

I finally had a talk with her not about divorce but about my doubts and I can't even describe how better I feel. I told her all about what some of myf riends are going through and how that is causing me insecurity in our marriage and surprisingly she was understanding. She saw a few of her male friends do everything right and get royally screwed so she knows how some women can be and she vows to never do that to a person she promised to love. Maybe I really did manage to find a rare gem because she seems to understand the male point of view more than any other man I know.

[whichwayisup]

I finally had a talk with her not about divorce but about my doubts and I can't even describe how better I feel. I told her all about what some of myf riends are going through and how that is causing me insecurity in our marriage and surprisingly she was understanding. She saw a few of her male friends do everything right and get royally screwed so she knows how some women can be and she vows to never do that to a person she promised to love. Maybe I really did manage to find a rare gem because she seems to understand the male point of view more than any other man I know.

 

I wish you would trust her more. Woggle, now that you've talked to your wife, and she was supportive, understanding and caring towards you - Please do yourself a BIG favour! STOP going to those infidelity boards! Stop comparing what you have at home with what your friends are going through. Different people, different baggage and again, you never know what really happens behind closed doors! Same goes when overhearing stuff in a public place, don't let that stuff spook you.

 

BE thankful that you have a wife who does love you, faults and all. She is accepting YOU for who you are...Maybe now it's really time for you to get to know your wife better. Seems to me, you really don't "know" her too well.

[Curmudgeon]

You're abslutely right, WWIU. And Woggle, your wife isn't as rare a gem as you may suppose. That's why the divorce rate hovers between 45-50%, not 90-100%. Half or more of first marriages still last. Perhaps some really shouldn't but most should and do.

 

If you constantly feed yourself negative information about marriages, lack of commitment and "bad" women, in time you're going to think that's all there are out there, your own wife included, and that's where you've been of late. As some say, you are what you eat!