She covers up her engagement ring!

[slang75]

Hi All,

 

Long story here, I know a girl who flirted with me for years, she knew I liked her and continued to flirt with me at, I later found out she had long distant boyfriend, but she doesn't want anyone to know about him, she never talks about him, only ever talked about me to her friends. I stopped talking and flirting with her a while back, even though I really think she has a crush on me. cause of her dishonestly and disrespect, anyways, she kept flirting and starring at me for a long time, always trying to catch me eye. Then I found out she got engaged to her BF, (they were 'together' for 7years) the one she doesn't talk about, anyways, when she sees me now she purposefully covers up her huge rock with her right hand! I guess hoping I won't see. I think she unhappy with her relationship and ashamed. I mean, what a slap in the face to her BF now fiancee! She did this (covering up so I wouldn't see) twice now.

What's going on here?

[Lyssa]

She's probably not ready to get married. She's hoping to see if she'd be better off with you or just playing the field before she gets married. If I were you, I'd just ask "So, when is your wedding day? Don't forget to invite me!".

 

Btw, I don't get women like this. I would be proud as hell if I was engaged. Heck! I am proud I have a BF!

[oppath]

Btw, I don't get women like this. I would be proud as hell if I was engaged. Heck! I am proud I have a BF!

 

Again, that's why I like you in that "see, Oppath, there are awesome girls out there" kind of way (you give good advice too).

 

If a woman is not happy in a relationship, ideally, she would END it or work through the problems.

 

But ultimately, I want a woman who will say "LOOK AT WHAT I GOT!!!!!" and brag about me to everyone: her friends, her coworkers, EVERYONE. "LOOK AT MY BOYFRIEND. LOOK AT MY MCDREAMY." That is what I want. I want someone who talks about me a lot, who tells all of her friends about me, and who includes me in her life (friends, family, coworker). Those things should be happening when you become exclusive (friends) and when she says "I love you" (family, coworkers). If a girl keeps me hidden once we've become exclusive, that is a problem. I'm not saying I need to meet everyone and she needs to call all her friends saying "I have a new boyfriend;" what I'm saying is those things should be happening on their own and I should be VISIBLE.

 

So if a girl doesn't act like that (or a guy)...EVALUATE. If a girl is telling me she loves me, she better act like it by introducing me to all of her friends, including me in her social life, etc. I want someone who brags about me.

 

So no, it's not fair to her guy. Call her out on it if you get the chance. Say "let me see your ring. Wow, he must REALLY love you. Why don't you talk about him more often?"

[Lyssa]

Again, that's why I like you in that "see, Oppath, there are awesome girls out there" kind of way (you give good advice too).

 

I like you in the way you portray yourself, Oppath and you give good advice too. Way better than some!

 

If a woman is not happy in a relationship, ideally, she would END it or work through the problems.

 

I agree! I don't think I can stay if I am unhappy in a relationship but I will try to work things out first than just call it quits without even trying.

 

But ultimately, I want a woman who will say "LOOK AT WHAT I GOT!!!!!" and brag about me to everyone: her friends, her coworkers, EVERYONE. "LOOK AT MY BOYFRIEND. LOOK AT MY MCDREAMY." That is what I want. I want someone who talks about me a lot, who tells all of her friends about me, and who includes me in her life (friends, family, coworker). Those things should be happening when you become exclusive (friends) and when she says "I love you" (family, coworkers). If a girl keeps me hidden once we've become exclusive, that is a problem. I'm not saying I need to meet everyone and she needs to call all her friends saying "I have a new boyfriend;" what I'm saying is those things should be happening on their own and I should be VISIBLE.

 

Damn. You just described me! I am like that when I have a BF. I don't brag but I do tell my friends... as soon as it's exclusive between us both! It comes to a point where I can't wait for people to get into conversations on relationships so that I can tell them "HEY!!! I just got meself an awesome man!!!". I can't be with someone who won't tell anyone about me. I feel like he's still out there looking for 'THE ONE' when I am here... telling the whole world or so to speak. I love it when my man talks about me (good stuff, of course!) and is proud of having me in his life.

 

So if a girl doesn't act like that (or a guy)...EVALUATE. If a girl is telling me she loves me, she better act like it by introducing me to all of her friends, including me in her social life, etc. I want someone who brags about me.

 

So no, it's not fair to her guy. Call her out on it if you get the chance. Say "let me see your ring. Wow, he must REALLY love you. Why don't you talk about him more often?"

 

As always, you give good points, Oppath!

 

OP, call out on her and see what she has to say... and keep us updated!

[slang75]

Thanks all!

 

I know deep down inside she still has very strong feeling for me, and emotional cheating is far worse than a ONS. She flirted with me for years, even after and stronger when I ignored her. I always thought the same, she keeps him like a dirty secret, I am the only one she would smile at, talk about and stare at, nobody else...nobody. As far as I am concerned I have already won, the obvious covering up of her ring hand with her right hand while we were in an elevator said it all, and she did it twice on two separate occasions, with her head hanging down and starring at the floor, she can't even look at me. She is leaving as well, and I don't know what I should say to her, or do. Any advice?

 

Thanks!

[AriaIncognito]

She's probably not ready to get married. She's hoping to see if she'd be better off with you or just playing the field before she gets married. If I were you, I'd just ask "So, when is your wedding day? Don't forget to invite me!".

 

Btw, I don't get women like this. I would be proud as hell if I was engaged. Heck! I am proud I have a BF!

 

Good lord me too. I can't imagine how happy I'd feel if i were to look down at my ring finger, and see how much a man loved me that he wanted to spend his life with me, and me with him.

 

I dream of the day I hear those words. I just hope one day, it will be more than a dream.

[analyseThis]

Thanks all!

 

I know deep down inside she still has very strong feeling for me, and emotional cheating is far worse than a ONS. She flirted with me for years, even after and stronger when I ignored her. I always thought the same, she keeps him like a dirty secret, I am the only one she would smile at, talk about and stare at, nobody else...nobody. As far as I am concerned I have already won, the obvious covering up of her ring hand with her right hand while we were in an elevator said it all, and she did it twice on two separate occasions, with her head hanging down and starring at the floor, she can't even look at me. She is leaving as well, and I don't know what I should say to her, or do. Any advice?

 

Thanks!

 

how do you know deep down inside she has strong feelings for you? or is she leading you to believe that?

 

dont say anything to her other than ..good luck and good bye when she leaves; if shes not happy in her relationship she needs to fix it or dump the bf; Not have you around for an emotional flirt/ relationship or w.e shes keeping you around for. I mean whats your guarantee that she wont do the same to you if she dumps her current bf and goes out with you or you guys hook up.

 

Do what you were doing; ignore her; don't give her the attention. Also put yourself in the other guys shoes; would you like it if this was being done to you behind your back by your girl?

 

And I dont mean to be harsh; but what do you think you have won? The admiration of a cheater? The only thing you have won is being her little side flirt; besides the fact that shes bored of her current bf. I bet if your roles were reversed with him, the outcome would be the same. Thats like winning the admiration of the devil...not something you should be taking pride in anyways; your better than that.

[TheSilentType]

AnalyzeThis' advice is spot on.

 

Ignore this person....distant but civil. Don't play this game that benefits her only.

 

Either way you're in a lose-lose situation here. Even if she becomes your gf, you have a cheater as a gf. You will be posting in the Infidelity forums later. And if she doesn't break up with her fiancee, your just as screwed.

 

Abandon this girl to the past and move on. Don't let desperation make you settle for crumbs.

[Art_Critic]

AnalyzeThis' advice is spot on.

 

I agree too !!..

 

I would like to also add that you know that she is engaged and you know that she is off the market.. So you should not be pursuing her..

 

She is off the market and someone else's girl now.. leave her alone...

She might be enjoying the attention from you and that is why she covered the ring.. Don't let yourself think you can win this girl from the other guy and come out smelling like a rose..

You won't... and think of the kind of guy you would have become in order to do it.. You would be the OM..

Going after another guys girl is just not honorable dude...

[slang75]

No, I think you misunderstood me. What I meant by 'I won', was that I didn't do anything. I ignored her and didn't talk to her, even though I still have feelings for her, her actions speak louder than words, and by covering up the ring told me it wasn't me, it was her. I wouldn't chase her, but in a way it is nice to know that in the end, i think, her true colors and feelings where shown. The way I see it, covering the ring is not much different than never talking about her BF or even denying he exists, which she did as well.

 

And yes, everyone has great advice, thats why I came here, so thanks! I don't think she is really happy at all, but it was her choice to make. And yes, I do plan on saying goodbye, and leave it at that. It was just the covering up of a huge ring at threw me way off. That is unbelievable, and wrong on so many levels.