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Confused!


Desperate

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Ok i'm gonna try to make this as short as possible...I just turned 19 and i think i'm falling in love with this great guy! but there is a problem he is 16, in high school, and lives 2 hours from where i go to college.

 

He doesn't act 16 he has had a really hard life. My parents don't want me to see him, just because of the age, although they said it is was fine when i was 16 to go out with an older guy they admit is ok as long as the guy is older. I really really like this guy and he treats me better than any guy i have ever went out with and he says he really likes me too...what should i do?

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First of all, make sure to punch your parents in the gut for doing a poor job.

 

Age differences, older or younger, are a significant problem. 16 and 19 is a pretty healthy leap. You are in college, which is a significant different stage of life than high school. It doesn't really matter what he ACTS like...he's 16. The fact that he's had a really hard life makes this all the worse. I don't know his particular situation, but people who have a serious degree of trauma from their upbringing will most certainly react to that in their relationships now. That means right on top of your head. And you are attracted to this guy.......I gotta wonder what set you up to go after people with that quality. I don't like the sounds of this at all. I'm positive there are plenty of guys your age that can treat you well, you just aren't tuned to that frequency. That's something you have to work on by yourself.

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Confused,

 

GOD DO I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!! :) Ive been in this situation before and I am pretty much the same age as you. Advice that I can give you....when it comes to matters of the heart , the ONLY one that you can listen to is your own! If you like this guy, he treats you well, and you enjoy being with him, there is no reason why you shouldn't be! A 3 year age differance is not that huge a gap. Yes its true that college and high school life is very diffrant but if both of you are comfortable with it, then don't make it into an issue just because others are reacting to it! Having had a hard life, as you state he has had, is probably what makes him seem more mature than the average 16year old.

 

In short..listen to you! :) All the other people who are not in favor of this relationship , are NOT IN IT!!!! You and he are! What matters the most is how YOU two feel about it, and each other!

 

Best of luck to you!

 

Dani

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