Should a certain LoveShack member get a divorce?

[Woggle]

MODERATOR'S NOTE: This thread is the hijacked portion of an unrelated thread. Yes, the whole remaining 51 posts of another thread turned into a discourse about Woggle. Instead of giving 51 infractions, we made a new thread so all would be in compliance. Normally, they would have been deleted but since Woggle was a willing participant in the exchange, we've moved the thread to its own little home on our site.

 

I would say yes in general because everyone ( girl) i know has resentment toward their husbands and the husband has no idea.. in my opinion , sometimes women will do alot for their husbands even if you say you dont have to do that . and eventually it becomes routine and then women will start to resent that they are doing everything in their minds. usually they will not say anything about it to you till it has become too much and then the damage is done . i would say in all situations no matter what share the responsibilities no matter if she says you dont have to . just do it anyway .. she will appreciate it and it will make it imposible for her to become bitter with you for anything. from the kids to the bills. just my opinion of course because i am a wife that does have frustrations and can understand that sort of feelings. i dont think men even realize what is happening till it is too late and niether do the women . i think the women do things cause they really want to but then it changes later. anyway just my thoughts.

 

If this is the case shouldn't I just divorce my wife right now. If she eventually grow to resent me and blame me for all her unhappiness what is the point of even trying to be a good husband? What was I thinking when I married her? How do I know she does not already resent me?

[Citizen Erased]

If this is the case shouldn't I just divorce my wife right now. If she eventually grow to resent me and blame me for all her unhappiness what is the point of even trying to be a good husband? What was I thinking when I married her? How do I know she does not already resent me?

 

And all the faults in your marriage can only be put down to her right? The fact that you almost called off your wedding, don't trust your wife, and all in all have a disgusting attitude to women in general begs to differ. If she grew to resent you honestly can you not see why?

[Woggle]

And all the faults in your marriage can only be put down to her right? The fact that you almost called off your wedding, don't trust your wife, and all in all have a disgusting attitude to women in general begs to differ. If she grew to resent you honestly can you not see why?

 

I treat her well and she doesn't know I am thinking about divorce. I am still thinking about what I should do next.

[Touche]

I treat her well and she doesn't know I am thinking about divorce. I am still thinking about what I should do next.

 

Divorce her. Let the poor woman go. You're only going to break her heart later on. Let her go. You're damaged goods. She's not.

[Citizen Erased]

I treat her well and she doesn't know I am thinking about divorce. I am still thinking about what I should do next.

 

Grow a pair and discuss this with her. You took vows for LIFE, how dare you treat her like this without even considering those vows.

 

But I agree with Touche, you never should have married her and I pity her for ever having met you.

[Trialbyfire]

I treat her well and she doesn't know I am thinking about divorce. I am still thinking about what I should do next.

You've got to be kidding. You're thinking about divorce now, even though she's the best thing that's ever happened to you, in your sad little life?

 

Get real Woggle and I mean that sincerely. Get in touch with reality. Continue therapy and if that's not helping, get a different therapist.

[Woggle]

Grow a pair and discuss this with her. You took vows for LIFE, how dare you treat her like this without even considering those vows.

 

But I agree with Touche, you never should have married her and I pity her for ever having met you.

 

She took these vows for life as well but she sure won't mean them when she gives me the I love you but I am not in love with you speech.

[Citizen Erased]

She took these vows for life as well but she sure won't mean them when she gives me the I love you but I am not in love with you speech.

 

Okay then, whatever you say. Advise her of your opinions and your intention of divorce. Stop wasting her life.

[lindya]

She took these vows for life as well but she sure won't mean them when she gives me the I love you but I am not in love with you speech.

 

Have you started to resent your wife? Is that the problem?

 

Perhaps you're getting bored of marriage, and are looking for an out. Maybe the best way for you to preserve your sense of righteousness in getting out would be to blame her for things she hasn't actually said or done - but, being a woman, in your mind is nonetheless deemed guilty of. Guilty until proved, beyond unreasonable doubt, innocent.

 

I feel terribly sorry for your wife. Being married to you must be like trying to cart a wheelbarrow of boulders up an impossibly steep hill.

[JackJack]

Woggle when are you going to stop playing the victim role? You are ya know.

 

I see alot of people on here, like you, and they should you seem like a really great guy who just got burned like alot of people have. HOWEVER, the choice is yours to move on from your bitternesss or continue to stay stuck where you are. Why do you feel you keep yourself where you are in your negative thinking? Have you tried to change your ways of thinking about women? Or is being bitter, and questioning things always comfortable for you?

 

These are a few things I see that might happen if you continue in this behavior.

 

1. Eventually, even though people like you and have tried to help you and given you good advice, I think people will stop doing that at some point. It will get old to them and they will feel what they are saying is falling on deaf ears, and you're going to say, do, and beleive what you want anyway.

 

2. Its possible your marriage may come to an end, because you're pushing it in that direction with the way you think and feel.

 

Maybe you're wanting to purposly sabotage your marriage because you feel it will end anyway? Or that your wife will end up being like someone who hurt you before?

 

I don't see how it is you can come on here and talk about how you feel about women, and it NOT carry over into your marriage with the way you feel. I'm assuming you can come here say what you need to, cut off the computer and go be with your wife, and nothing you feel or said on here shows up in your marriage.

[Curmudgeon]

If this is the case shouldn't I just divorce my wife right now?

 

Do your wife a kindness. Set her free to find someone who's truly capable of loving her.

[Cobra_X30]

If this is the case shouldn't I just divorce my wife right now. If she eventually grow to resent me and blame me for all her unhappiness what is the point of even trying to be a good husband? What was I thinking when I married her? How do I know she does not already resent me?

 

Wog, Listen to me!

 

Not many poeple here understand where your coming from on this. I recently answered a post where it asked if I was afraid of committment. No I'm not afraid. I'm paranoid. Sometimes it puts me into the midset of "I'll get her before she gets me". Its not the right way to go.... it's the only way to gaurantee failure!

 

If you share this feeling, then your going to have to go to battle with it. You absolutely have to talk to your wife about this!!! She is the only person that can help.

 

Make no mistake... this is your battle to win. The stakes are high. That wall around your emotions... around your heart. It needs to come down. Not overnight, but start soon. Before its too late!

[Woggle]

Wog, Listen to me!

 

Not many poeple here understand where your coming from on this. I recently answered a post where it asked if I was afraid of committment. No I'm not afraid. I'm paranoid. Sometimes it puts me into the midset of "I'll get her before she gets me". Its not the right way to go.... it's the only way to gaurantee failure!

 

If you share this feeling, then your going to have to go to battle with it. You absolutely have to talk to your wife about this!!! She is the only person that can help.

 

Make no mistake... this is your battle to win. The stakes are high. That wall around your emotions... around your heart. It needs to come down. Not overnight, but start soon. Before its too late!

 

That is exactly. The fact is that I do love her and no matter how strong I think I am I will be very hurt if she did walk out so I figure might as well just end it right now before she can hurt me. The walkaway wife thing is an epidemic these days and the women that don't walk seem to despise their husbands so why would I be naive enough to somehow think my marriage will beat the odds? That is why I am thinking of doing a preemptive divorce before she leaves me.

[Curmudgeon]

That is why I am thinking of doing a preemptive divorce before she leaves me.

 

Talk is cheap. Do it now. She'll be much better off without you.

[JackJack]

That is exactly. The fact is that I do love her and no matter how strong I think I am I will be very hurt if she did walk out so I figure might as well just end it right now before she can hurt me. The walkaway wife thing is an epidemic these days and the women that don't walk seem to despise their husbands so why would I be naive enough to somehow think my marriage will beat the odds? That is why I am thinking of doing a preemptive divorce before she leaves me.

 

So bascially as I said a few posts up, you ARE infact trying to purposly sabotage your relationship by this way of thinking. You figure you'd beat her to the punch, by getting out, because you feel she will eventually anyway?

 

If that is the case, then yes, Woggle it might be best to get out of it then. Have you thought of how you tell her this?

[Woggle]

Talk is cheap. Do it now. She'll be much better off without you.

 

If you think your wife doesn't resent you you are very naive. God knows what she tells her friends about you.

[JackJack]

If you think your wife doesn't resent you you are very naive. God knows what she tells her friends about you.

 

 

So I'm assuming that my wife resents me, or will resent me too?

[Woggle]

So bascially as I said a few posts up, you ARE infact trying to purposly sabotage your relationship by this way of thinking. You figure you'd beat her to the punch, by getting out, because you feel she will eventually anyway?

 

If that is the case, then yes, Woggle it might be best to get out of it then. Have you thought of how you tell her this?

 

Yes I figure that odds are she will either divorce me or at least end up hating me so why not get out right now. On the other hand I wonder if I would be ruining a potentially good marriage. There are exceptions and maybe she is one.

[Curmudgeon]

If you think your wife doesn't resent you you are very naive. God knows what she tells her friends about you.

 

...and paranoid!

[Woggle]

So I'm assuming that my wife resents me, or will resent me too?

 

She most likely does already.

[Curmudgeon]

So I'm assuming that my wife resents me, or will resent me too?

 

...Woggle's skewed reality. He appears to be the only one beating that same, tired old drum.

 

I don't think he really has a wife. I think he has a blow-up doll he's named "Wife" because any real woman with any sense would have escaped long ago!

[JackJack]

She most likely does already.

 

 

Wow, you must have ESP then Woggle.

 

I'm really sorry you feel this way about yourself and others. Its really a distorted view.

 

How do you plan on telling her?

[Woggle]

...Woggle's skewed reality. He appears to be the only one beating that same, tired old drum.

 

I don't think he really has a wife. I think he has a blow-up doll he's named "Wife" because any real woman with any sense would have escaped long ago!

 

Believe me there are many men who understand where I am coming from. Like I said before you would be shocked to hear what your wife really thinks of you.

[Cobra_X30]

That is exactly. The fact is that I do love her and no matter how strong I think I am I will be very hurt if she did walk out so I figure might as well just end it right now before she can hurt me. The walkaway wife thing is an epidemic these days and the women that don't walk seem to despise their husbands so why would I be naive enough to somehow think my marriage will beat the odds? That is why I am thinking of doing a preemptive divorce before she leaves me.

 

I wish I didnt understand how you feel, but I do!

 

Do you want my life? Do you want to bounce from relationship to relationship? Nobody ever really knowing you, nobody really loving you? Constantly pushing poeple away so they cant get close enough to hurt you?

 

Are you prepared to feel lonely, and hollow? Forever?

 

If you divorce her... break her heart first... do you understand what your giving up?

[Woggle]

Wow, you must have ESP then Woggle.

 

I'm really sorry you feel this way about yourself and others. Its really a distorted view.

 

How do you plan on telling her?

 

To me I am just realistic about women. I know how they are and I know their true nature. I am not naive enough to think that I have somehow found a woman that is unlike every other woman.

 

I don't know how I will tell her yet.