fed up

[jlee99]

I been married for 7 years and I suspect that my husband is cheating or has intention of cheating on me with younger women. Now he is only 26 and I'm 27 we got together like 2 weeks after we graduated from shcool but we were bestfriends in high shcool also but it seems like ever since last year when I was pregnant with our 3rd child our relationship has gone sour. Now he claims he not doing anything when he goes out but that's not the feeling I get. I always catch him out there in lies. I spoke on the phone to one girl and she said they went to the motel and he pays for her phone bill. And now he's doing it again not more than a month after that other situation he doesn't know I have his email password so I steady check it. Now he's sending this girl that had a crush on him when they was growing up emails and she is responding back like she still wants to be with him now that she's 19 even though he has a family what should I do? Do u think he's a cheater and should I leave him

[norajane]

Check his credit card bills and checking account - if he went to that motel, it's on his credit card statement. If he's paying someone else's cell phone, it's on his credit card statement, or it's a check he wrote and it will be on his bank statement.

[hollaxatholly]

Check his credit card bills and checking account - if he went to that motel, it's on his credit card statement. If he's paying someone else's cell phone, it's on his credit card statement, or it's a check he wrote and it will be on his bank statement.

 

 

not necessarily...he could pay cash...

[MrsHellnoFire]

I been married for 7 years and I suspect that my husband is cheating or has intention of cheating on me with younger women. Now he is only 26 and I'm 27 we got together like 2 weeks after we graduated from shcool but we were bestfriends in high shcool also but it seems like ever since last year when I was pregnant with our 3rd child our relationship has gone sour. Now he claims he not doing anything when he goes out but that's not the feeling I get. I always catch him out there in lies. I spoke on the phone to one girl and she said they went to the motel and he pays for her phone bill. And now he's doing it again not more than a month after that other situation he doesn't know I have his email password so I steady check it. Now he's sending this girl that had a crush on him when they was growing up emails and she is responding back like she still wants to be with him now that she's 19 even though he has a family what should I do? Do u think he's a cheater and should I leave him

 

 

They went to a motel? Yuck.

If you are catching him in lies, he's a liar. You really can't trust anything he says. I hope for your sake he's not cheating.

But to ascertain the facts, first you need to get some evidence.

Find out the motel they frequent. Go there on the sly when he says he's "going out". Place a voice activated mini cassette recorder in his car.

[Ladyjane14]

Check his credit card bills and checking account - if he went to that motel, it's on his credit card statement. If he's paying someone else's cell phone, it's on his credit card statement, or it's a check he wrote and it will be on his bank statement.

If he's using cash, there will be withdrawals on your bank statements where he can't account for the money spent. Get yourself an accounting program that gives you reports and pie-charts of your family's expenditures. Tell him you're taking an interest in money management, etc. Ask him to start giving you all his receipts. If you haven't set up online banking, set it up. You need to know where, when, and how the money is being spent.

 

In the meantime, call some of the local motels for the time you suspect he spent with an OW. Tell the receptionist that you are Mr. So-and-So's secretary from Such-and-Such business and that you need a copy of his receipt dated blah,blah,blah.. faxed to whatever number because he's lost the original.

 

And get a detail copy of your cell phone bills too. Affair partners TALK.. and TALK. You can bet he ain't out there "gettin' some strange" without greasing the wheels.

 

Once you've got all your evidence, take it directly to an attorney BEFORE you confront your WH (wayward husband). Then, expose his affair to the key people in his life. Track down Miss Thing's mother too, and tell her what her teenage daughter is up to. DO NOT negotiate on exposure, just do it.

 

After all that, you've busted up all the reasons he has for lying to you. There are REASONS that married people lie to their partners. They're protecting their lifestyle, their reputation, etc. Once you've taken all those things away from the cheater, he's got nothing left to protect. You've broken him down to rock bottom and it's YOUR CHOICE at that point whether you want entertain his protestations or just divorce him out of hand.

 

Anyway, that's what I'd do. I wouldn't leave him a rock to hide under.

[JustBreathe]

Should you divorce him? That depends on whether you can stomach living with a cheater for a husband.

[KATANYA]

You are a mother of three and you suspect your H is cheating. You already have proof that he is e-mailing a 19 year old and you have another woman that tells you they were at a hotel together..........I really wouldn't spend much time asking him for receipts at this point because he already knows you are on to him. And I wouldn't think he is using credit cards at the motel..he is using cash and some other name (this I can pretty much promise you!).

 

Don't waste a lot of time, IMO, on tracking systems and the like. Check his cell bills for numbers (because that is easy to do --- you are busy enough with your kids I'm sure).....check the computer and print out any damning info.....if you can get his cell phone, call the numbers or text them a 'nice little note' and see what you get back. A simple "miss me?" should get responses from any woman who is waiting for H to contact her.

 

I think I would gather what 'preliminary evidence' I have (from that your 'gut feeling' will tell you if you are right or not!) and then I would pull a very solid "I KNOW EVERYTHING' routine on him and give him one chance to come clean before you either tell him he has to go or you are going...no options! (You may not really mean it but it should be enough to get a confession). I always say the same thing, have the kids somewhere else because they really don't need to see and hear this stuff! If he says nothing is going on, leave and tell him to call you when he can be honest with you and when he is ready to work out arrangements for he children and the divorce.

 

Should you keep him or divorce him? Entirely up to you as the BS......for whatever reason most keep them but be prepared he will probably do it again....from what I have read on these sites - most do they just get better at not getting caught!