Dazed and Confused Posted January 21, 2000 Share Posted January 21, 2000 I want so Bad to have someone to care and to love.,but love has left me afraid, I don't trust anyone and I've lost all my self esteem and hope. And reading all of these notes just upsets me more so many of them you can feel or I guess relate so much too that they hurt. See like most men I always was controlled by hormones, you know sex and cheated on many a woman in my life. I was always with someone since I left home at 16. And to this day I still love everyone I was with. I've since learned my lesson. take my advice cheating will just cause you to get confused and hurt. Now after 12 or more years I'm finally alone. I left my Wife of 9 years for another and I couldn't decide which one to stay with. Well I chose the other girl. Who later tore me up by cheating on me and dumping me. I felt like I deserved it then, but Now I feel just empty. I know now I will never do someone wrong like that again even though I feel I'll never get the chance to proof that. It's been 1year and a half since I've been held or loved and now I'm afraid I'm so screwed up I'll never appeal to another woman let alone meet one. I do have a girl that I've been friends with, but she only use's me. She's only around and being nice when I have money. And I believe she steals from me. She just knows how honest and nice I am now and takes advantage of me. When I first met her she ended up not having a place to live so she stayed at my house. later during a party she met A guy and then took off. I didn't hear from her for months until she called me again. Now although I've never had any kind of relationship with this girl some where down the line I feel like she's all I got and I love her even though I know she really doesn't like me or care about me. I've since figured out why I have so much trouble with love since I was dumped, but It completely makes me never want love again. Or even hate Love. To explain it I'll say that I'll do anything in my power for anyone whose my friend or who I care about. Everyone will say I'm A nice person,but thats not what turns women off of me its the fact that I'm open with my feelings, I say whats on my mind. And I appear desperate for love, but thats the truth, I am desperate for a companion. I'm dying to give myself to someone and do all I can for them. Women like intrigue , you know" don't play all of your cards" , mystery. Well is it wrong to be honest and open. I don't want love if I have to hide All of my true feelings to keep from being seen as less then a man. Hell maybe I just Need therapy huh I guess I should sign this dazed and confused . Link to post Share on other sites
Somewhat Damaged Posted January 22, 2000 Share Posted January 22, 2000 I just wonder if I have the right to be both in love and happy. For me they just don't go well together... There's too many men alone in this cruel world Link to post Share on other sites
Dazed and Confused Posted January 22, 2000 Share Posted January 22, 2000 You got that right. Women just have too much power over men Link to post Share on other sites
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