overanalytical Posted October 29, 2007 Share Posted October 29, 2007 what is everyone's opinion on this...i've been married before and we never combined our accounts. lately my fiance and i have been having issues over money, or the lack there of. i dont' know if combining our money and having bill money set aside, grocery money set aside, then the remain is our play money and each have access to the account?? i don't know....good idea? bad idea?? other ideas????? thanks!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 29, 2007 Share Posted October 29, 2007 what is everyone's opinion on this...i've been married before and we never combined our accounts. lately my fiance and i have been having issues over money, or the lack there of. i dont' know if combining our money and having bill money set aside, grocery money set aside, then the remain is our play money and each have access to the account?? i don't know....good idea? bad idea?? other ideas????? thanks!! Joint account, is, IMO,the worst, the 'dumbest' thing... I say...if money is an issue...have a joint account just for the 'bills'... make a budget... and if 800$ or whatever is needed for the living expense, then put each an equal amount to cover those bills in the joint account... The rest of your money is yours...and ONLY yours... in your own personal account... What if you make more (and that goes for both men and women) and put all the money in one account... make sacrifice, etc... only to find out one day that he/she left with the whole account... and there is not much you can do... so to be on the safe side.. each your money (except for the living expenses, which have to be equal)... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted October 29, 2007 Share Posted October 29, 2007 separate accounts is the best way to go, IMO – we tried the joint account thing early in our marriage, and DH had a terrible habit of taking checks but not letting me know or for what amount, and it created lots of problems with bounced checks. I've also heard from friends that bank cards pose the same problem on a joint checking account. we've done the separate accounts thing for about 10-12 years and it's worked well. DH paid for the apartment rent and now the house mortgage, the utilities and I cover the gas card, the insurance and switch off grocery expenses with him. If one needs money, the other deposits it to account, or pays for whatever needs to be paid. It's worked pretty well for the most part, because the money is spent by the person who's earned it. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 29, 2007 Share Posted October 29, 2007 My ex-marriage was financially structured like quank's. We never fought about money...ever. I don't agree with everything joint but much of that is based on whether the two participants are working individuals or one is a SAHM. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetem Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 I'm engaged myself, and there is NO WAY I would join accounts until I am actually, legally, married. and even then, I plan to still have an account of my own. its different times now from when our parents were married. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 For those who agree with a joint account for living expenses, what if one person earns significantly more than the other. Should the one making less expect to give an amount to the joint account proportionate to their earnings or split it down the middle? I just wonder if it's good for the low earner to have little money left for personal use while the high earner has waaay more for personal use. Link to post Share on other sites
love4ever Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 I would think that if one makes more than the order, that logically they should have a greater share in the expenses. Shouldn't you also have a joint account for savings? I think I'd want a joint checking account for expenses and a savings account just to guarantee that both parties are making a committ me to savings money towards any future plans. Just my thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 My guy just moved in with me, and he proposed what I felt was a great solution. We keep our separate accounts, but we have one joint account where we each put in half of the bill money and the expected grocery money needed. When one of us buys anything at the grocery store out of our own accounts, we keep the receipt and figure out the difference later. We do this too. I think it's a good compromise. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Well my bf and I have a joint account, and 2 separate accounts with the same bank. That way we deal with only one bank, which is ALOT easier. I think it is very common thesedays. Having a joint account makes it alot easier when paying the bills, saving for a holiday, christmas presents etc. I make a bit more then him and we still split everything in half, but I put more into our savings as I am able to do so. I will never consider having only one account. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 I just wonder if it's good for the low earner to have little money left for personal use while the high earner has waaay more for personal use. Very easy for finances to turn into a power struggle if one spouse has more disposable income than they other. If you are truly partners, it's both your money, whether in one account or two. Has nothing to do with who earns what... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 We combined our accounts completely when we got married. I do have a 401K that is mine only, but H helped me decide how to spread the money, and he is the one who keeps track of how it's doing. He balances the check book and pays all our bills, so I feel like I don't have much spending discretion, and I also don't like it that he knows everything I buy; we got rid of my cash withdrawal card years ago because I didn't use it very often, and now if I want cash I usually ask him for it. it makes me feel like he's my father. I never minded that he did all the financial stuff, but lately I would really like to take charge of my own finances more. However, I have very little income of my own at the moment, so I suppose most of the money is his anyway. He is great at keeping us from spending, which is important. We have been living on mostly one income for nine years, and he has helped us stay out of debt by being so careful with our money. Still, when I get a full time job I want my own account. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 I don't know much about the US banking system since I am a newby here, but I would like to point out that in the bank where hubby and I have a joint account, it's permanent. He can never remove me from it or I him. He still has his first wife on that account. He can close the entire account, but he is tied to it for whatever reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 This is a question I have asked myself. We have a combined account so it is easier to keep track of bills. If you have separate accounts what if one of the spouses is bad with money & forgets to pay a bill or gets behind on there side??? I feel my W isn't very good with her money, in fact when we separated for a while & she moved back I found out she didn't get some of the CC paid on time & the interest went way up so we paid it off & I canceled the card. Storyrider, I understand how you feel, my W feels that I am to controlling as well with our money, but I feel if I don't then we will always be in the hole. My W does have an account of her own & part of her paycheck is automatically put into that account so she does have some money of her own. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Storyrider, I understand how you feel, my W feels that I am to controlling as well with our money, but I feel if I don't then we will always be in the hole. My W does have an account of her own & part of her paycheck is automatically put into that account so she does have some money of her own. Yeah, that is what I want. I'm happy to combine most of our money, but I would like some funds that are mine to spend or save any way I wish, without feeling supervised. For example, two summers ago I worked full time for about six weeks at a good hourly rate, and earned a lot of money quickly. We needed most of it to pay bills, yet he agreed that I could buy a laptop which I would use for my fiction writing as well as freelance work. However, he insisted that I use Christmas and birthday gift money which I'd saved up, instead of the money I had earned. I understand the reason behind this. It was because he wanted my work money to go toward bills and my gift money to go toward discretionary spending. If I used my work money for the computer, I would consider the gift money unspent, and I would end up spending twice as much on myself rather than on bills. I'm sure that was his reason, but still, it rubs me the wrong way that he told me that was how it would be instead of discussing it as two adults. It is weird, because in a way I believe in the man as head of the household, and I don't mind feeling that he is ultimately at the helm, so to speak. It is better, I think, to have the buck stop somewhere, and in most cases I don't think he has taken advantage of it. He has been fair and he almost always takes my opinion into consideration. But emotionally, I don't think it has been good for our marriage or for my personal growth and sense of responsibility/independence. Link to post Share on other sites
LoisLane Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 I have a few issue with this matter. I would like to have a joint account to handle bills and what not. On the other hand, I was thinking what if my partner cheats on me? I should have my own savings account so that I can fend for myself if one day that happened to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Cinabon Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 OA....I have been engaged...Long story but we had accounts on our own and a joint account. Paying the bills went through the joint account. I found this worked better for us. And we came track of things better. JMO Link to post Share on other sites
magenificent Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 One consideration (though fairly unpleasant) for couples who are not legally married is that with joint ownership, if the other person should pass away the surviving account holder automatically keeps the balance of the account. Any asset owned jointly automatically transfers to the survivor. Assets that are not jointly owned by unmarried partners will pass to relatives upon death, not the boyfriend/girlfriend. Depending on the state, "common law" marriage may or may not make the difference. As a rule, I wouldn't count on it. A little morbid, but a consideration nonetheless. Link to post Share on other sites
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