conflicting advide

[Rowen]

So ive had alot of time to have this whole breakup sink in etc. She broke up with me becuase she said "it wasn't working" I begged, then NC for two weeks, then LC from then on until now. She contacts me and gets frusterated when I don't contact her back or answer a question etc.

 

At this point I really don't know if she wants to talk to me about substance or not, about our relationship.. I think she may be scared to talk on the phone, because the last time we did that we ended up in a bad argument. That was weeks ago and before she found out I was in the midst of a drinking problem. She now knows i'm 5 weeks dry.

 

Now.. recently ive talked to a couple good friends of mine (both females) and they say that the best way to go about talking to her without any pressure, this would be to take my time to write her a letter. Nothing too emotional, but something that's about a page long, concise, confident and tells her how I feel about us. My ex is a very artistic person, she loves to read petry, stories, write etc and it could be a good gateway to talking to her about this situation, rather than going over there and foolishly spilling my guts to her like I already have.. but granted that was just days after she broke it off and she was very guarded.

 

I just get this feeling that she does want to talk to me.. but is scared. And it's incredibly frusterating becuase I don't know what to do. I don't think she does either. She said that during the break up too " I don't know what to do"

 

ugh.

[Spinderella]

I dont know what your conflicting advice is. But, write the letter, and then do NC. A letter is sometimes a good idea because you can make your points as you wish to make them.

[Rowen]

I dont know what your conflicting advice is. But, write the letter, and then do NC. A letter is sometimes a good idea because you can make your points as you wish to make them.

 

Conflicting advice is the advice from people mainly on here.. who tell me this is not the right way to go. But to just leave it.

[Spinderella]

Do what you feel is best. If you dont feel you have had chance to tell her what you want to say, then write a letter, at least with a letter you avoid the dangers of being emotional and reactive. Write a letter and then do nc. Theres nothing harmful in that so long as you dont ask her for answers, but just state what you want to say and be prepared to leave it completely alone afterwards.