xfess Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Well this would normally be any guys dream come true, mine as well but its a little stressful as what to do. A few weeks ago after the girl I was dating wanted to be "friends" I decided to go back to the online dating scene. I sent emails to a bunch of girls hoping to get some responses. I did, about 9 girls i began talking to through emails. after a few days where some didnt respond back, the number went down and the remaining ones I got their AIM SN's, some didnt respond back on there or I just wasnt interested, so once again the number dwindled down to 4 - all of them nice girls whom i'd like to date and see who is the right one for me. Now the problem is that I never delt with this situation before. I usually had one girl whom i talked to and eventually dated. Im not a "player" im just looking for the right girl, but Im also a nice guy, who doesnt know how to tell 3 of them that im not interested in dating them anymore.... I would still like to chat with them and be friends hopefully, but im not sure if they would feel the same way. Im sure there are men and women out there that have been in this situation. I was wondering if anyone could tell me how they handled it and how they let down the other people easy. Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Go out with ALL of them. Online dating is a numbers game. You go out with a girl, you think you hit it off, you even call her back and she picks up and she says she will call you in a little bit when she is done with work...and you never hear from her again. Take them all on dates. Maybe 1-in-3 will go out with you more than one time, you know why? Because they have 4 others dudes they are thinking about meeting too! If you don't feel they are a match after you have gone out with them, tell them "I like you but I feel we aren't right for each other. But since we had such a great conversation, I would love to maintain a friendship with you." Copy and paste. If you really want friendship, you can be more specific about some of the things you liked about them so it doesn't sound cookie cutter. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Hell yeah! Dating is about numbers. I'm currently getting to know three people. It shouldn't be a big deal. Just remember that as long as you aren't taking anything from them, then you're doing nothing wrong at all. Many of them are probably doing the same thing. Don't play and don't be played and there's nothing wrong with going out with them to feel out the chemistry. I think you'd be silly not to. Why take the risk of "picking" the wrong one before getting to know all of them? Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 I was wondering if anyone could tell me how they handled it and how they let down the other people easy. Don't ever "let anyone down easy" it only leads to ambiguity. If you want to do the right thing for someone, don't let them down gently, drop them on their head. "I'm sorry but I don't see us dating. I would however, like to be friends if you're ok with that?" Don't be mean, just be unmistakeably clear. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetem Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 If the girls are also on the online dating scene... I'm sure that you arent the first guy to message them, and certainly will not be the last. They may be in the same position as you are, in fact. Unless you are sleeping with any of them, or they somehow think you are committed to only them, I would say continue to see them until you can narrow it done a little more. Link to post Share on other sites
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