PattyDuke Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 We are both in our late 20s; he's been separated a year and the divorce is pending. He's in love with his wife, admits that's lessening, though, and that he is in 'acceptance' phase. We became fast friends and are attracted to each other in a serious way (we've been intimate but agreed to step away). I realize he isn't ready to date and he won't act on the attraction because he doesn't want to "hurt either one of us". (though he once made a reference to waiting on our friendship and seeing if something real develops). My question: have any of you remained friends with a man going through this, a man you share a mutual connection with? What happened? How do you maintain your sanity? How do not give in the attraction and ruin the friendship? Link to post Share on other sites
LoisLane Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Hi there. Funnily enough, I have gone through a situation like yours. He was a team leader where I used to work. As a team leader, it was his duty to check up on us and we would go out for lunch with other co-workers. We got to know each other better and we hit it off greatly but it was a tiny bit too late. He got engaged just a week before and he said it would be wrong to have anything to do with each other. It was pretty hard for me as we connected in so many levels, on top of that he was engaged to be married to his best friend. It was "the right thing to do" as he felt he owed his best friend that much. So it was hard for me to remain friends with him. We see each other almost every day and I have to report to him directly. I got myself busy with other things and got to know other people. He would tell me to watch out on some guys but I figured it was none of his business. I was going insane thinking how could two people who have a lot of things in common can't be together!! I met his wife (then fiancee) a couple of times and she was the complete opposite of him. Some people say that can work. Anyhow, we remained as friends. I coped with it by going out with other people. At the end, I resigned and didn't keep in touch with him at all. It was hard but I survived! You will too, PattyDuke. Link to post Share on other sites
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