Spinderella Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 I'm having a terrible terrible day. Spent the entire morning crying, and Matt, talk about being a victim, I really have been ridiculous with some friends, resulting in them not inviting me out this evening. I feel half ashamed, but, half angry, because they did not accept my apology. Link to post Share on other sites
trulysomething Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 It's okay Spinderella..we all have days where we are irrational and maybe not in the best of moods. Not to mention, it's a part of our coping process. Sometimes we all need a break...maybe your friends are feeling the same way and dealing with things in their own lives. My friend now refuses to talk about my ex..and I try even harder not to mention it to her. I am sure things with your friends will work out. Relax tonight, read, watch tv, do something creative..paint, draw, sculpt, write, craft..drink wine and make plans for a better tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
Spinderella Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 Thankyou Truly something, That helped. I am just upset more that they did not accept my apology, I have let bigger things slide that they did. The difference is, that I apologised. I am angry. Link to post Share on other sites
carrotgirl Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Spind, they can eat shiit. I'm sorry I've been so out of it today. You know I've been through this off and on thing with a good friend. I'll tell you, he and the missus could borrow a K to make sure their checks didn't bounce but he can't be a decent human unless GD and I are together with him. What I say is this. Tough TT for your on again off again pals tonight. Everyone has a few traits that are less than desirable. We all look the other way from time to time. Sure, they don't have to forgive you but really, what could you have done that was so egregious? Did you tell them to kiss off when you got hurt because they were insensitive? Did you smoke up all their dope and eat all their food without saying thank you? Did you pinch a great big loaf on their dining room table? Silly snots. I blow germs at them. Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
MattyTee Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Hey Spind, *hugs* Take care, you aren't alone in having a crappy day. I just got an email back from my ex saying I was emotionally manipulating her and she was really angry with me. Yay! Link to post Share on other sites
carrotgirl Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Matty, this is actually very interesting. Evidently, she felt the need to engage eh? Try this in response to her e-mail: Really? How do you figure all that? ....and nothing more. Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
MattyTee Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Well Carrot, It seems like she's living behind a facade right now. She makes out she is fine with being friends (but fine not being friends as well). She says that she doesn't want me to be too emo (I mean who says that!) or intense. We talked for four hours the other day and at one point I asked her did she think about us. She said don't go there. She was more than happy to talk about how hard it was on her that the new 'boy' (who frikkin says boy!!) she liked was in a long-term relationship already. She went on to tell me how cool he is and how they have hung out a lot. Do you know what I said? "I hope things work out for you". Why? Because I bloody love her and I care more that she's happy than I do about wanting to be with her. I already responded with a rather long-winded but honest email. I also said that if she couldn't hear me being honest and just thought it was all me manipulating then that was her problem Link to post Share on other sites
MattyTee Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 We talked for 4 hours the other day and after all that hard stuff she said thank you for being my friend tonight and also she had had fun. Link to post Share on other sites
MattyTee Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 I wish this thing had a live chat sometimes *lol* Link to post Share on other sites
carrotgirl Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 I say stuff like being so emo and use boy all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
MattyTee Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 *lol* It's okay, I'm just ranting away. She never used to say things like that. In fact her entire language has changed. I found out that the boy she likes uses the same language ... so I guess I know where that came from. I'm fed up of being heartbroken and crying over her when she doesn't give a ... Link to post Share on other sites
MattyTee Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 My mother thinks that she's just going through a very confusing time and has latched on to the first guy she found. It's also odd that she's gone for someone already in a relationship. Perhaps she's using him to get over me, directing feelings at him rather than me. Link to post Share on other sites
Bosiell Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Quick hello from me, before I go to work Dreamt of ex again last nite. I so hate doing that, really knocks me for six. Why do we do it to ourselves. I had a much better day again yesterday in the main, but now after the dream I feel gutted again today. I so cannot keep having these dreams, its gonna push me over the edge I just so want her back right now, so want her to knock on my door and hug me and tell me she cares still, soooooo want it, the longing is unbearable at times. All coz of one damn dream Take care all x Link to post Share on other sites
Spinderella Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Bos, read Mattys thread, theres a member called Scorp giving him some good advice. Its good to get out how we feel but its not always helpful to keep perpetuating our negative reality like this. It is good to understand where we went wrong, but not good to make a self image out of it. Being and thinking positively is also what I was attempting before, which is why I was seldom writing about my feelings anymore, except in a positive way. I forgot about that. If you stand in sh**, its all you will smell. Link to post Share on other sites
Spinderella Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Silly snots. I blow germs at them. Carrot LOL, thanks Carrot. I feel bad, because ignoring things I wasnt happy with led me to behave in ways I am not proud of. So, it really is my own fault. Anyway, I have myself to concentrate on now, so that I dont do these things. Link to post Share on other sites
k10k Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Hi all, I've been following all your posts and it's always great to read how you are doing, what you are feeling and so much of the advice on here has helped me along the way;) I've reached the 1 month stage, and it's definitely tough going, but I really agree with what Spind and Scop are saying.. yes, we all feel like crap, and it's very important to express our feelings, and understand what went wrong in the relationship so that we can learn and grow from this experience. But sooner or later we need to start focusing on the positive. It is so easy to get stuck in the negative. I came across this earlier, and I think it has some great insight: http://www.earthlingcommunication.com/blog/getting-over-a-relationship-break-up.php I especially like this bit: "You need to become your own source of energy and be in control of your emotions instead of being dependent on others for things like comfort, happiness, and emotional security. This view is the opposite perspective to a time-consuming, miserable, and codependent relationship. You’ve broken up and I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to make a big change in your life. For you, it could be working harder to get a promotion, exercising, reading self help books, taking a new course, socializing, or going out with friends more. You need to take the action to create a single life where you are happily busy and question whether you want a relationship with someone. I guarantee you that having such a great single life is what will attract a future partner for you. I honestly believe a break up can be one of the greatest things to happen to a person depending on where they are in their life. I say this because you will have poor communication or relationship skills in various areas and improving in them allows you to have more fulfilling future relationships. Like I said earlier, learn from the break up. If splitting up encourages you to undergo a lot of self help, then the changes in your life will be amazing." xox Link to post Share on other sites
Bosiell Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Yeah I know.. must be more optimistic and positive. I am damn trying and for the most I am winning, but sometimes a get beat down big time. But ok ok no more negative vibes. Thanks the post k10k. Just wish one day, just one time please, that something will work out my way! PLEASE!! Ok thats my final rant. /pray Peace, respect n luv to you all.. Link to post Share on other sites
k10k Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Just wish one day, just one time please, that something will work out my way! PLEASE!! Ok thats my final rant. /pray It will Bosiell, someday it definitely will! Sending good vibes your way Link to post Share on other sites
carrotgirl Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Just wish one day, just one time please, that something will work out my way! PLEASE!! Ok thats my final rant. /pray Oh Bos, you're sooo much nicer than I am. I ask the universe for my "I want this please" rather specifically! And I ask for it to be soon! And I want it all with pie and ice cream and a new car! Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Jmina, I totally love you. Link to post Share on other sites
Spinderella Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Yeah, and where is Jmina lately? Hey k10k Link to post Share on other sites
Spinderella Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Just wish one day, just one time please, that something will work out my way! PLEASE!! Ok thats my final rant. /pray If you wanna be new agey, then you will rephrase that as: "Thankyou so much that everything is working out my way" and if you want to be new agey and carroty, you would say "I am so grateful that everything is working out my way, with pie and ice-cream and a new car on top" Link to post Share on other sites
Scorpio13c Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 If you wanna be new agey, then you will rephrase that as: "Thankyou so much that everything is working out my way" and if you want to be new agey and carroty, you would say "I am so grateful that everything is working out my way, with pie and ice-cream and a new car on top" Now that's the spirit! Spind, i'm happy you seem much better now than earlier threads i've read. I think you'd mentioned that you used to write positive things in a journal? Well keep writing whatever it was you were writing that made you happy! Oh... & no more contact Scorp Link to post Share on other sites
Bosiell Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 from me.. Oh yeah I started a journal today at last, everything is going into it. Want to look back in a years time with pride that I came through this tough time to become a better person. And that my day DID come!! x /respect Link to post Share on other sites
MattyTee Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Woohoo! Congrats Bos, it will help! And just to give Scorp a giggle ... up up up up up and away! Link to post Share on other sites
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