velos142 Posted May 13, 2003 Share Posted May 13, 2003 Hello All! Having a little bit of difficulty here & am hoping that you all might again help me get my feet back on the ground. My g/f & I broke up recently after 5 years together. Thanks to the great folks here & my friends & family I have been dealing with the loss very well. The problem is that my final exams begin tomorrow & I am feeling really nervous & scared at facing them. This is I know this is relatively normal, I usually get nervous & scared around final exams & I think most people do. However, the stress of the recent break-up & the related drop in self-confidence & self-worth that accompanied the break-up have left me feeling that I will fail miserably. I find myself constantly thinking that the only way I got through the exams before was because of my g/f, that she was the reason I did well & that without her in my corner I cannot do it. In my head I know that this is silly (after all it was always me that walked into the room & took the exams - she wasn't there) but I can't seem to stop myself from feeling that it was her presence that inspired me & gave me the confidence to face the tests, to do my best. How can I control these feelings & get myself in the right state of mind to suceed? velos142 Link to post Share on other sites
Heidi2 Posted May 13, 2003 Share Posted May 13, 2003 Hey! I'm a college student as well. And just the sign of hearing the word: FINAL EXAM.. is quite unbearable to say the very least. Anyways.. if I were u.. in that I've been in similar situations where only 1 thing matters to me.... and of course things such as this have to occur around when something else matters. This is in fact doing well on your exams.. where you can enjoy the summer as best as possible. I would think of these exams as tokens towards getting your gf back. What I mean by this is.. think of each exam you are presented in front of you... as some what of a rememberence or cherishing :-) feeling you 2 shared. And, maybe it'll make things if any way possible lead her back in your arms.. Five years is definately a long time to be going out w/ someone.. And, in your case it seems as though you still love, care, and want to spend more times w/ her. I hope this was of any help for ya. Link to post Share on other sites
Author velos142 Posted May 13, 2003 Author Share Posted May 13, 2003 Thanks Heidi! I guess I wasn't that clear. I don't want to get her back. I want to be able to focus on the task at hand w/o any the burden of these thoughts of wothlessness & failure simply b/c she isn't around. Yes, I still care for her & she is a great person but she & I together just do not work. I am okay with that. The real concern is overcoming these feeligs that any successes I enjoyed I attributed to her presence in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Heidi2 Posted May 13, 2003 Share Posted May 13, 2003 [color=darkred][/color] Ok, I gottcha ya now.. maybe it was my reading beyond the lines.. Anyways.. in order for you to move or @ least try to move into doing well w/ your exams... Maybe you should act as though (try) to take each question or essay, etc. as a new beginning. For each question you get/got write is another step towards new beginnings.. And, then when you get the results.. you'll see if you're happiness will come into brighter spirits... =) Link to post Share on other sites
Author velos142 Posted May 13, 2003 Author Share Posted May 13, 2003 Heidi - Your insight is well-taken. Echoes my horoscope for the week (not that I normally believe that spinning hunks of rock far off in space know something aboutmy day that I don't - but when your feeling out of sorts every little bit helps). I think that what you offer is a positive perspective - look at each question as a step toward regaining my own personal power over my life & coming again to believe in my personal magic. It is just tough to drop all the mythology I conned myself into believing during the course of the r/s. Somehow I convinced myself that she was responsible for every success, while I remained responsible for all the failures. I will endeavor to put your advice into practice. Thank you velos42 Link to post Share on other sites
jessicakicksbut Posted May 13, 2003 Share Posted May 13, 2003 Your ex may have inspired you to do better in school, but she was not the one taking your tests for you, writing your papers, and doing your projects. You have the ability to do well, just need the strngth right now. Study hard, try not to let anything distract you, and pray...you can do well without her! Link to post Share on other sites
Author velos142 Posted May 14, 2003 Author Share Posted May 14, 2003 Jess - You are absolutely right! The difficulty is avoiding distraction, remaining focused on the task at hand & not slipping into the desparate thoughts of "I can't do anything without her." I don't know about others but I am driven in large part by my emotional state, even the most mundane of tasks can be hard when a tulmult exists in my spirit. The kindness & support our the folks here aid greatly in my being able to keep a handle on things & I thank you all. Link to post Share on other sites
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