bostonjohn Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 I have been married for 5 years now and over the past 3 years my wife a my relationship has really gone down hill. I try to do everything i can do to please her but she is always stressed about something. I try to be understanding but i dont always feel the things she is stressed about are really that bad. In my mind i think she turns very little things in to big problems in her head. I almost seems as though she needs to be stressed and always has to have turmoil in her live with work,friends, her family, my family etc... One day someone will be so perfect in her mind and the next minute they are horrible but it always has to be someone. Iknow that i probably dont stress enough about things and have always been the type to believe that things always work out but she is the oppisite. I really feel like nothing i do makes her happy and sometimes feel like she hates me. I dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 Is it possible she has depression? Seems abit manic behaviour so up and down.. Have you spoken to her about how her behaviour is affecting you, the marriage and it's making you feel miserable? Tell her what you've said here, be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bostonjohn Posted November 2, 2007 Author Share Posted November 2, 2007 I have talked to her about it and she says that i dont understand or im insensitive. She definitly is depressed and on medication but i dont think its working. Link to post Share on other sites
annieo Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 Your wife sounds a little like me. I have days/moments where all my resentment of the people I actually love (kids, husband) just boils over and I end up shrieking at everyone like a banshee. But I have noticed some patterns. For example (and please dear god, guys, don't use this info as an excuse to blame your SO of having pms everytime she's upset about something!!! Sometimes it really is something you did!), I am generally pretty happy-go-lucky, until about a week before my period is due. All of the sudden, the unmade bed, the dirty dishes, my husband making a fleeting glance in the direction of a waitress, will make me see red. Also, my husband (regrettably) hasn't always been the most truthful man (last big lying session - one year ago). This, as you can imagine, has made way less patient, both with him and generally. Has anything happened between the two of you that might be setting off some resentment? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 I have talked to her about it and she says that i dont understand or im insensitive. She definitly is depressed and on medication but i dont think its working. Is she seeking therapy as well? Is it you don't understand her depression and all that it brings along? Is she looking for sympathy, or help around the house? More info would help if you want more answers. Do you two ever get alone time together? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bostonjohn Posted November 2, 2007 Author Share Posted November 2, 2007 Yes she is in therapy but off course i dont know to much of what goes on in there. I guess she is looking for sympathy sometimes or sometimes wants me to side with her on some things but i just dont know how to be supportive even though i dont agree with her reaction to the situation. No we dont get much alone time together and when we do she usually ends up in a bad mood and says it becausee we dont have much time together. That i just cant understand! Why not enjoy the time we do have together? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 Why don't know what goes on in her therapy sessions? Get involved! Talk to her therapist, be proactive! This is your wife we're talking about it. Depression is forever! She may have bouts of it throughout her life, sometimes things will be good, sometimes they won't be but the key is having a good therapist, so I suggest you learn more about depression, even consider seeking counselling for yourself so you have an outlet. Living with a depressed spouse takes it's toll. Do you do special things for her, bring her flowers, shower her with compliments? sometimes or sometimes wants me to side with her on some things but i just dont know how to be supportive even though i dont agree with her reaction to the situation. Can you give an example here? Link to post Share on other sites
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