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How to ask someone out when you already hang out alone together?


canadianclub

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OK, I'm sure that this is a boringly typical post but...

 

I'm a straight guy with a mostly (well, entirely at the moment) female group of friends. I often go out to movies, dinner, etc. with individual friends and it's not awkward or anything. The problem comes when I become attracted to one of my friends; this sort of thing has happened to me twice in the past. Once it was mutual and once it wasn't, but there were weeks of awkward ambiguity in both cases. Now it's happened again: It's like I've already had a number of 'dates' sans physical interaction with her, and so I can't really 'ask her out' per se. Does anyone have any advice beyond me just out and saying 'I have feelings for you; do you have any for me?' Because I've been on both ends, and I know that rejecting someone you care about is just as painful as being rejected.

 

Anyway, I'd appreciate any advice (including the conventional wisdom, if you want to make a pitch for it).

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FLIRT with her. Kick it up a notch and smile, look into her eyes, help her out of the taxi, open her doors for her, compliment her eyes, give her casual touches.

 

And then - after you've been flirting for a few weeks or so and you're getting some flirtation back - one night when you're dropping her off from the movie or whatever and you get the hug good-night, hold her a bit longer and then when she moves away from the hug, hold onto to her, look into her eyes for a moment, and then lean in for a kiss.

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Or you could do all of that and hold off on the kiss and just say you want to date this nice girl. Nothing worse than someone not wanting to be kissed. Gah.

 

Good luck.

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