ice_nine Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 Hi everybody! I'm really new, so don't be too mean. I REALLY need advice on this though... I feel like I'm fourteen again and damn that's just not cool. Right, so I'm rather new to these forums, posting-wise. I've been reading them for a bit now. Unfortunately, I started reading them after a started a FWB with this girl I met, and now I'm in a crazy mess. To sum things up, I'm probably taking an ex-FWB to Vegas for reasons I don't quite understand. I met this girl about four months ago. We hit it off really well, but I really didn't want to go too fast too soon. She also told me repeatedly that she "was not ready for a long term relationship". She had just broken up with her ex, and I was in the process of breaking up with my girlfriend at the time, and I didn't want to complicate things. That resolve lasted about 12 hours. After flirting and talking for about two days, she came over to my house, and basically tackled me. She left early in the morning. We fooled around for three days straight. (good times, really). On day four, she came over and chilled with myself and another friend of mine. I was flirting with her, and she suddenly pulled me into the house, and said basically, sorry, I think you're getting too into me, we need to end the physical part of this relationship. On an interesting side note, I really hadn't noticed much of anything besides a physical relationship till she mentioned it. Right, so it was awkward for a bit, but it was working out. The whole, you're just a friend thing. During this period of time, like for about two months, we hung out six days a week... It was GREAT! She made a really cool friend. But then, there was a threesome. Right, her, myself, and another person had a crazy porn star style night. This was like four weeks after the "no physical" talk. Anyway, for about a week after that, she was very affectionate, flirt y, and spent the night over once even (we just snuggled, crazy). We still hung out every day (almost), and THEN we'd hang out at night.. It was awesome! And here's where things get INSANE: Things were fine BEFORE she told me no more sex, lets just be friends. But, I handled that (In my mind at least), and she became a pretty good friend. I really enjoyed hanging out with her, and we were like best friends for a solid month.. and then we had sex again, so somehow, some part of my mind short circuited and tried to combine the sex and really good friend bit. Anyway, so it looks like we're heading for some sort of relationship, right? After about a week of her being affectionate and us being cool friends, she drops off the face of the earth. Now, normally, I would call or text her daily, and she would do the same. I had hit like 900 text messages a month with her. This week I was actually worried something happened to her. She didn't reply once. Now, is that crazy enough? No, you say?!? Well, lets make things even MORE confusing! After 2 weeks of getting a response RARELY, she comes over to my house to stop by and say hi. She dosen't even get out of the car. We sit in her car and chat, and she tells me about a friend that we both know that she says she's cool with. She tells me that they made out once, but that stuff left and now they're just friends... I'm sitting there like, dammit, dammit, damn it. So, she looks at me and asks if we can just erase everything and start out as friends again. I told her that there's no way I could do that. I don't want to not hang out, but I'm not about to lie that I think of you as more than a friend. She says, "okay", I ask her if we're still cool, and she says "yeah".... She left after that. Right, so about three weeks after that, and I've secured a business trip to Las Vegas. Not only that, but with the corporate discount and the pay I'm getting, I could have someone come with me on the cheap... Well, of course I ask her if she wants to go to Vegas with me for a week or two, and she says hell yes. My first thought is, "YES! I am totally going to combine a really good friend with a FWB into some sort of franken-relationship!" (Or is that a normal relationship?). Right, so I asked her to come with me on this flight. I have heard from her three times since that date, even when I tried to secure our bookings. On the 19th, I had a poker get-together with some friends and I invited her. Much to my surprise, she agreed! She said she wanted to bring a couple friends, and I figured the more the merrier. Her couple friends turned out to be some dude that she was all over... This really pissed me off, actually. I couldn't believe that someone who was my friend, even if there is no FWB or relationship status there, could be so insensitive to do something like that! Its not like I've been subtle with flirting and talking about stuff.. I mean, come on, a trip for two to vegas? WTH? She called me on the 27th to wish me a happy belated birthday. Well, actually she didn't call me until I sent her a text message saying "Hey! I'm going clubbing downtown to celebrate my birthday! Want to come with?". I have to confirm my flight bookings on the 29th, and that birthday message was the last time I had heard from her, even when I replied to the belated birthday with "Hey, I've got to confirm your flights before I can get the tickets". So, I didn't book her flight as I really didn't have any idea as to her going with me. Oh right, so one thing I should add, and I told her this, was that the dates of the trip were within a range. Just because my trip has to coincide with another tech's visit, my dates would be set in stone on the 29th. So while I gave her the range, I said that I needed her to confirm the days so that I could book them. So, it was looking like no trip to Vegas. We hung out on Halloween, she had a really cool costume. Now, the first thing she says to me, besides "You look really nice", is "I can't wait to go to Vegas! We are going to have such a fun time!" She talks about how much Vegas is going to rock, how "we are going to have an awesome time" (really great long stare in the eyes with that), and other things. We hang out, and meet up with some more friends of ours. I still haven't told her that she's probably not going to Vegas.... We hang out, she's anti-flirty.. you know that "don't even break that touch barrier buddy" vibe is just all over her. (I don't even feel comfortable touching her arm). Anyway, I get back to my house and resolve to tell her about Vegas the next time I see her in person. Of course, the way she calls me back tells me that will be sometime in July. (the trip is in December..) More nonsense, I discover that booking another flight is super easy, and the company I'm working for will foot the bill for the hotel room's extra occupant. So, now I have a huge quandary: Vegas or no Vegas baby? And does anyone have an idea as to what I want from this? I think I want her as either a full relationship, or as FB status, or even booty call status. Its killing me just being friends after that last sexual stint, like its hard to hang out with her. I mean, it was uncomfortable this last time we hung out just because of how no-flirt she was and because I do have romantic feelings for her...I think. Also, I'm going to head over to her work tomorrow to tell her what I've decided (time is of the essence). So should I: 1. Tell her no Vegas, sorry, but you didn't get back to me. 2. Tell her that I don't want to go on a multi-week vacation with someone under false pretenses. Is this vacation going to be like the vacation Bond and Moneypenny had in Casino Royale? 3. Something else...?? Oh man this has been screwing with my head for the last few months.... this girl is so awesome yet so mean in a non-direct way... One final question, since I really don't think that just friends will work (Its because I have this feeling that things will work out at some point now and I just have to wait for it), do I break up with her? The really mean part of me says "do it and draw blood", because the really mean part of me thinks she's using me for a trip to Vegas.... but, I'm really normally easygoing. Any help ANYONE could give would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
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