We like the same guy!

[shychica]

I'm facing quite a dilemma here. I jut met a guy at work about two months ago. We are starting to become good friends and we email each other everyday. I really do like this guy. He also seems to like me because he always ask me to sit with him and he's invited me over to his place to hang out. He also gave me his number.

 

Well also during that two months, a girl (who happens to be assistant supervisor) decided to befriend me. She been friends with the guy a few months longer than I have and sometimes gives him a ride to work. One night while we were out, she told me that me and the guy I should start dating. I was like, "cool", maybe this will work out after all. Well a couple of days later she took back what she said and said that she was drunk and that she did not know what she was thinking. She went on to say she like this guy as well. I told her I could see why anyone would like him because I even like him too. Well I continued things as is, and still talked to him and sat with him at work.

 

A few days later she decided to basically pour her heart out to me about how she really cares for this guy and how they "kicked it" a few times. She says he told her he liked her before I came into the picture. She also talked about how she was in an abusive relationship before she met him and how he makes her feel good about herself. She said she was confused about her feelings for him. They are not even a couple, but she wants to be a couple. In so many words she basically said she wanted me to back off from this guy. She told me not to tell anybody at work. I was crushed at first, but I got over it.

 

Well the guy at work is still sending strong vibes my way and even asked me to go out with him one night. I declined and made up an excuse because I didn't want to come across as a back stabber. I feel like I'm sacrificing my feelings for someone who isn't even really my close firend, just so she could be happy. I still like him a lot but a really want to know where he is coming from and if likes me or her or someone else.

 

Should I approach him and tell him what is up? Should I just let this situation go before it gets sticky?

[Blue Eyed Brain]

I suspect that in a year or so, you will not be friends with the guy or the girl. However, you don't want to date a guy that "spreads his seed" or "sh*ts where he eats." He sounds like he has many "friends with benefits" at work, so you don't want to be another one.

 

You cannot control your friend (girl) but I would allow him and her to "do their thing." Stay away from this guy - he's not worth the hassle.