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Am I the only Proud OW on here?


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GreenEyedLady
Being in a good relationship means that neither partner is benched on the sidelines. Real love isn’t a spectator sport.

 

This is the one thing you've said that I agree with...And I'm so glad that's what my R is like...Thank you for helping me appreciate that...:love:

 

I don't know where you got the info that I was here to ask others to assess my situation...I didn't start a thread or ask any question at all regarding my situation...I'm very happy with it...But thanks so much for your concern...:D

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I don't know where you got the info that I was here to ask others to assess my situation...I didn't start a thread or ask any question at all regarding my situation...I'm very happy with it...But thanks so much for your concern...

 

I didn’t. You’re still peddling the little bike in the back, GEL.

 

My response was inspired in part by your constant yapping at the heals of every poster who responds in this section simply because they don’t meet the requirements of your imaginary clique. Perhaps if you have some secret desire to moderate this forum, you should submit your request to the LS Gods so you can do so quietly in the background. I’m sure they’d appreciate as much help as they can get. :) :)

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I think it's pretty judgmental to speculate I am Immature just because I am having an affair and therefor Only care about myself. I do not think anyone on here knows me well enough to make that judgment call. I am rather mature for my age--I'm just caught up in a bad situation with a MM. We all make mistakes. Am I not entitled to make one as well?

 

What I want from this MM is the friendship he and I have created--the bond we have. We enjoy each others' company--is that soo horible?

 

Also, He has a choice whether or not he wants to cheat on his wife--he says he does not feel bad about it, so why should I? If he doesn't give a flying hoop about his marriage, why should I?

 

Whether or not this will turn into a physical thing, I cannot say yes or no. I can sit here and type that I will not, but hey, decisions change. I'm more concerned about sleeping with a man who also sleeps with another woman than anything else. I think it's rather gross. Then again, I'm sure some of my ex bfs would sleep with some girl during the day, then come home to me at night. That's the problem these days--cheating is So freakin' common. Cheating surrounds me, whether it's a friend cheating on their partner, or friend being cheated on, etc. Right now I have two friends who either were or are involved with a taken man. It's also all over television, so where does Anyone get values these days when it's all over? Turn on the television, watch CSI or FRIENDS or SATC, a soap, or a lifetime movie, even any move on HBO, and there is cheating involved in probably 90% of the shoes/movies shown. I think it tricks some minds into thinking "it's not bad." Just like crime on tv has a huge influence over crime in the real world.

 

I am not immature, though. Being selfish and being immature do not relate, as far as I see it.

 

As I have said before, and someone (Gel I believe) even pointed out that I'm here because this is a OW/OM thread. What I didn't expect was to be bombarded by many BS or people who have been in these situations who would be as judgmental as I have come across here. While most of the advice is beneficial, a lot is really harsh. There seems to be way more people who were either cheated on or have been in affair on here than current OPs. This makes this room a bit difficult for those who are currently in affairs and need the support. They aren't getting the support they really need--rather, they're getting a lot of negative feedback, and I think what OPs need is a bit more positive feedback.

 

That's JMO.

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They aren't getting the support they really need
Then I would suggest they go hire a therapist. This place is no substitute.
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LOL, what is it with the people around here so quick to tell someone to go get therapy? As if that's such an Easy decision to make?

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GreenEyedLady
LOL, what is it with the people around here so quick to tell someone to go get therapy? As if that's such an Easy decision to make?

 

Therapy is the answer when people don't like the choices that you make in your life...it's easier than them having to entertain another POV contrary to their own...

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Therapy is the answer when people don't like the choices that you make in your life...it's easier than them having to entertain another POV contrary to their own...
Hahahahahah

 

As if any of you are willing to entertain any POV other than your own. That's pretty funny. :)

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GreenEyedLady
Hahahahahah

 

As if any of you are willing to entertain any POV other than your own. That's pretty funny. :)

 

Glad that I could entertain you...:laugh:

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Therapy is the answer when people don't like the choices that you make in your life...it's easier than them having to entertain another POV contrary to their own...

 

No, thats your interpretation of why they suggest therapy.

 

In truth, therapy is to provide objective outside perspective to those who are struggling with life.

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I've been to therapy for other reasons and found it a waste of money and time. I'm not gonna get all Tom Cruise here, but if you don't have a Really good reason to go to therapy, as I stated above, then don't even bother. It all comes down to judgmental views and if it's the views of Freud, forget it!

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I've been to therapy for other reasons and found it a waste of money and time. I'm not gonna get all Tom Cruise here, but if you don't have a Really good reason to go to therapy, as I stated above, then don't even bother. It all comes down to judgmental views and if it's the views of Freud, forget it!

 

LOL... This was my experience too.

 

However I recognize that I didnt give it a fair chance. They told me something I didnt want to hear, I didnt like that so I left.

 

Therapy is worthless when your mind is closed.

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I'd rather go to a psychic. Now there you can find some Useful info. Some of these psychics know their sh*t.

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GreenEyedLady
So you think your relationship with this MM is special? Ha! Read this

 

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/showflat.php?Number=3073257

 

Uh-oh, pulling out all the stops huh?;)

 

People end R's when the R stops working for them...Not because someone gives them a web address or says mean thing about the one they love...

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Special in that we're friends. Again, we have Not had sex.

 

I know, I'm sooooo stupid for thinking I have this pure, innocent, special relationship with a married man when he's only out to hurt me.

 

Not all married men are out to hurt their lovers. Saying that would be like saying All Italians are in the mob. C'mon! I think this is a case by case situation.

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Not all married men are out to hurt their lovers.
Funny how you're always saying people twist your words when, in fact, you're the one doing most of the twisting. No one ever said MM are out to hurt their lovers. I suspect very few of them are out to hurt anyone. Most of them are simply out to scratch their own itch, and if you get hurt in the process, oh well.
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Funny how you're always saying people twist your words when, in fact, you're the one doing most of the twisting. No one ever said MM are out to hurt their lovers. I suspect very few of them are out to hurt anyone. Most of them are simply out to scratch their own itch, and if you get hurt in the process, oh well.

 

Maybe you haven't said MM are in affairs and will hurt their lovers, but some others around here have (maybe not in this particular thread).

 

Affairs my dear usually start off as friends. An affair is an addiction.

 

It is. It starts off in the mind too, which is why it's an infatuation. Infatuation=addiction.

 

I'm addicted to chocolate :p

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GreenEyedLady
Affairs my dear usually start off as friends. An affair is an addiction.

 

That's wonderful...we don't accept that people can make a conscious choice to be in an A...so we call it an addiction...

 

And how funny that if the people are two single partners, we just say they're in love...No one calls it an addiction then...

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hence my signature.........she has`nt read that reboot

 

I read it, but it doesn't mean Myself or other OW have to agree with you.

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american-woman
That's wonderful...we don't accept that people can make a conscious choice to be in an A...so we call it an addiction...

 

And how funny that if the people are two single partners, we just say they're in love...No one calls it an addiction then...

Married people DO make a choice to cheat or be faithful. As a matter of fact we are all geared to cheat (human nature) but we can in a marriage set boundaries to protect our marriage.

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american-woman
I read it, but it doesn't mean Myself or other OW have to agree with you.

You stated you were in theraphy once. I wonder what for

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You stated you were in theraphy once. I wonder what for

 

For being abused during my childhood by my wonderful now ex-stepmother.

 

american-womanQuote:

Originally Posted by GreenEyedLady viewpost.gif

That's wonderful...we don't accept that people can make a conscious choice to be in an A...so we call it an addiction...

 

And how funny that if the people are two single partners, we just say they're in love...No one calls it an addiction then...

 

Married people DO make a choice to cheat or be faithful. As a matter of fact we are all geared to cheat (human nature) but we can in a marriage set boundaries to protect our marriage.

-------------------------------

 

Right. but us OW/OM are Not the ones who are married; we didn't say the vows. That's why from our POV, it's the spouses problem, not ours. IF he wants to cheat and be unfaithful to his wife, why should we be concerned? That's what the main debate and argument here is about (I believe). The only person we're cheating on is ourself, and as long as we can hold our own, then we can cheat on ourself (or cheat ourself from happiness). well, I'm certainly happy and yes, proud because i have found a guy who I have also grown a really lovely friendship with.

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