Am I the only Proud OW on here?

[american-woman]

Yes you were addicted to your H when you first met him. You liked the way he looked,smelt, the way he made you feel. He feeled your emotional needs. Yes as years go by that drug wears off he/she does`nt say the things or do the things, ect, they did when we had first met. Then comes along someone who you think is SO SPECIAL,co-worker,neighbor,ect. They make you feel good. They start to fill your emotional needs so you keep seeing them to get your fix. Hence affair. You rewrite your marraige history, blame it on your spouse so you don`t feel guilt for having an affair.

[EnigmaXOXO]

I know that whore didn't care about me, and I have said many times I do not care about this MM's wife or his marriage—

 

So in your eyes, this woman was a “whore” because she wanted what she wanted without a care about you or your father’s marriage. OR ... maybe she and your Daddy were just as mixed up as you and your married friend are right now. Maybe she rationalized her feelings and behavior in the same way that you are trying so hard to do now?

 

If you do not like the kind of human being this woman represented to you, than why on earth would you be so hell bent on becoming just like her? Or rehashing your daddy issues with another man who thinks and acts just like him? Believe me, if you have an axe to grind, you need to take that up with the father and the step-mother who injured you. And maybe you should have given that philandering boyfriend of yours a verbal castration and slapped him with a paternity suite rather than slipping away quietly into the night.

 

I wonder if you are even aware that this hard front you put on is so tragically transparent. You can’t even pull off pretending you’re emotionally detached and uncaring while your “emotions” are still very much the driving force behind every reckless and self-defeating choice you make. It’s likely the very thing responsible for your confusion and constant contradictions in thought.

 

You have to reach deep and try to define who you are outside of what all these other people do. That’s the only way to separate yourself, rise above, and become your own unique individual as opposed to just another carbon copy of your tragic environment.

 

A part of me really feels bad for you, it really does. But I have to admit you make it extremely difficult for the outsider to truly sympathize, and genuinely want to help you to avoid the painful consequences that are in store for you --- Unless you’re just playing it by the “textbook” to amuse and entertain. In which case, I humbly admit to being suckered.

 

Certainly wouldn’t be the first time!

[Gwyneth]

The reason I hate my stepmother, which I thought I made VERY CLEAR, is because she abused me for ten years of my life, not because she was having an affair with my father. I actually could care less about that--I like the way my life is, mom and dad divorced, etc. IT's all I ever knew. She was brutally wrong and harsh to me. Isn't that reason enough to hate someone?

 

Some of you really need to pay attention to what people say instead of jumping to irrational conclusions.

[Gwyneth]

But I know I'm wasting my breath so I'm going to go do something productive now.

 

Please do go aheaed and do something productive. I've already asked you to please leave me alone. I have as much of a right as all the other OPs in this forum to post here.

[Gwyneth]

So in your eyes, this woman was a “whore” because she wanted what she wanted without a care about you or your father’s marriage. OR ... maybe she and your Daddy were just as mixed up as you and your married friend are right now. Maybe she rationalized her feelings and behavior in the same way that you are trying so hard to do now?

 

If you do not like the kind of human being this woman represented to you, than why on earth would you be so hell bent on becoming just like her? Or rehashing your daddy issues with another man who thinks and acts just like him? Believe me, if you have an axe to grind, you need to take that up with the father and the step-mother who injured you. And maybe you should have given that philandering boyfriend of yours a verbal castration and slapped him with a paternity suite rather than slipping away quietly into the night.

 

I wonder if you are even aware that this hard front you put on is so tragically transparent. You can’t even pull off pretending you’re emotionally detached and uncaring while your “emotions” are still very much the driving force behind every reckless and self-defeating choice you make. It’s likely the very thing responsible for your confusion and constant contradictions in thought.

 

You have to reach deep and try to define who you are outside of what all these other people do. That’s the only way to separate yourself, rise above, and become your own unique individual as opposed to just another carbon copy of your tragic environment.

 

A part of me really feels bad for you, it really does. But I have to admit you make it extremely difficult for the outsider to truly sympathize, and genuinely want to help you to avoid the painful consequences that are in store for you --- Unless you’re just playing it by the “textbook” to amuse and entertain. In which case, I humbly admit to being suckered.

 

Certainly wouldn’t be the first time!

 

Again, I didn't like her for many reasons, and because she had an affair wtih my father while I was a few months old is the least of my issues with her.

 

1. She abused me mentall, emotinally, and a bit physically.

2. Hated that my father had a relationship with me.

3. Hated my mother--still does I'm sure--and hated that my mother remained in good hands with my father's family.

4. Was very envious of my relationship with my father.

 

Again, I use the term whore here losely. Like I said, you are what you are--and she is, my dears, a whore. She cheated on her first husband too, and is now married for a third time. I'm sure soon enough she'll be cheating on him too.

 

I don't even know why people keep responding to things I've stopped posting about. I thought this thread would have ended by now, but no...people still gotta put their two sense in.

[luvmy2ns]

Again, I didn't like her for many reasons, and because she had an affair wtih my father while I was a few months old is the least of my issues with her.

 

1. She abused me mentall, emotinally, and a bit physically.

2. Hated that my father had a relationship with me.

3. Hated my mother--still does I'm sure--and hated that my mother remained in good hands with my father's family.

4. Was very envious of my relationship with my father.

 

Again, I use the term whore here losely. Like I said, you are what you are--and she is, my dears, a whore. She cheated on her first husband too, and is now married for a third time. I'm sure soon enough she'll be cheating on him too.

 

I don't even know why people keep responding to things I've stopped posting about. I thought this thread would have ended by now, but no...people still gotta put their two sense in.

 

Actually, the two "cents" are coming from your own writings. People are paraphrasing back to you what you said, then you try to rationalize it so that it doesn't apply to your own situation when it's very clear to many of us that it indeed does.

[Gwyneth]

I've laid low, and changed the subject many times, yet things keep coming up. I shouldn't have to leave because others feel the need to keep on picking arguments with me and talking about me as if I'm not here to see it. I also do not appriciate people saying that I'm like my step-mother especially when they do not know what was involved in that situation. Yeah, she had an affair with my father when I was an infant, but that is not the reason I disliked her. She isn't even married to him anymore--she moved onto her third marriage. She abused me--she's a horrible, horrible person. I would never abuse a child or even an adult. And it is differnt that this MM has a step-child because when he and the wife divorce--if they do, then that child will not be a part of his next family unless they chose to do so. But I doubt that will happen. So it is very different when it's your child vs your step child.

[Gwyneth]

Or maybe she is a troll trying to upset people here.

 

A troll? I am nor a troll or a snark here to upset people. HELLO!!!!! This is a freakin' OW/OM room. Why would I come here to discuss my affair with a MM, as the OW if I wanted to troll/snark? That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. The BSs are the trolls around here.

[Gwyneth]

I see. So it is also your thinking that this unworthy stepchild should pay penance for what your father did to your family. And it’s not “wrong” because this child is just an unwanted bastard and not a bio? Or maybe it has something to do with your unresolved anger at having to terminate your own pregnancy because your baby’s bio father cheated on and then left you.

 

Dysfunction. The gift that keeps giving.

 

 

Wow, you are truly just many bad things. I didn't post about my abortion so that it could be later used against me. Oh, but that's right...I'm the only rude one around here. And that child isn't a bastard, he has a mother and father who were married but they divorced. So where do you get off saying that child is a bastard? I know why I hate my stepmother and yeah, she was cheating with my dad while I was an infant and to me, it's just not the same as a stepchild of any age. Thats just my POV.

 

And when the heck did I say I have unresolved anger at chosing an abortion? I said I felt like it was the right thing to do and I still feel very strongly about that.

 

Once again, my words twisted in action. My god!

 

BACK OFF ALREADY. END OF DISCUSSION. MOVE ON NOW!!!! THANK YOU

[american-woman]

I've laid low, and changed the subject many times, yet things keep coming up. I shouldn't have to leave because others feel the need to keep on picking arguments with me and talking about me as if I'm not here to see it. I also do not appriciate people saying that I'm like my step-mother especially when they do not know what was involved in that situation. Yeah, she had an affair with my father when I was an infant, but that is not the reason I disliked her. She isn't even married to him anymore--she moved onto her third marriage. She abused me--she's a horrible, horrible person. I would never abuse a child or even an adult. And it is differnt that this MM has a step-child because when he and the wife divorce--if they do, then that child will not be a part of his next family unless they chose to do so. But I doubt that will happen. So it is very different when it's your child vs your step child.

 

Are you trying to convince us or yourself? You think that this step-child does`nt love his stepdad? You think that it would`nt hurt this child to go through another broken home? Do you also think that you two will never get found out? Where do you think you will be then? And you say you would never abuse a CHILD?

Girl you are in a fanasy world(affair fog)

WHAT ARE YOU REALLY HERE FOR???????????

[nadiaj2727]

TomCat--

 

Show me one person who does not listen to what they want to hear?

 

Me! I'll show you myself. I came here as an OW trying to figure out what to do about an affair and people told me to take the hard way -- get out of the affair -- rather than the easy way -- stay in it and suffer and hope. Some people did tell me what I wanted to hear -- that if I really love my MM I should wait around for him and be patient. while he worked out his messy divorce issues. But it sounded untrue, not smart, and "fairy-land"ish based on the wiser and more realistic-sounding advice I was hearing, so I did not listen to it, even though I wanted it to be the case. So I have showed you one person (me) who did not listen to waht I desperately wanted to hear. Looking back, that was the path to me growing up and getting out of a horrible situation. I really thank the people on this forum because of that. But if I would have just said "Can you please just tell me what I want to hear or otherwise I'm going to say I'm right all the time," I never would have gotten there. I had to listen, evaluate, and take my own wisdom from the different advice given to me. That is all I am asking Gwenyth to do... she certainly doesn't have to blindly accept my or anyone else's advice.

 

And I never said she should automatically accept advice that's given to her. I've just asked her to think about it and not automatically be so defensive.

[GreenEyedLady]

Gwnyth: You might want to put certain posters on ignore...Click on their profile and add them to your ignore list...

 

GEL

[luvmy2ns]

Gwnyth: You might want to put certain posters on ignore...Click on their profile and add them to your ignore list...

 

GEL

 

Yeah, definitely the ones who aren't feeding your need for validation regarding your affair.

[american-woman]

if It Walks Like A Duck And Quakes Like A Duck......its A Duck

[Gwyneth]

Thanks Gel

 

The problem with many of these people is that it's so hard for them to accept that I really do have it all together. I even have my affair in order and it's going the way I want it. It took me a while to admit and accept the way that it is, but I do accept it. He's married and this is an affair, and I both accept and admit that. I don't know why it's so hard for these people to just let it go and accept for themselves that I am okay and know what I am doing and can pull myself together if it does go sour. As if that's so irrational.

 

Again, I'm finished talking in this thread. I just wanted to make this one last remark. Clearly many of those who come to this room are here because they want to get a good laugh and say not many nice thinkgs to the OW/OM here. Many are also very helpful and I thanked them, yet I still get accused of not taking any one's advice. I'm not really looking for advice, I'm looking for opinions, and for those who did give me opinions, I thanked them and had nice conversations with them.

 

Then there are people who want to use the abortion I had against me in this affair. As if the two have anything to do with each other. I brought up the having the abortion when I explained why my ex who I believe cheatd on me is a tool. I also brought up my stepmother and said that she abused me, yet people around her thought I meant that I hated her because she had an affair wtih my father. Well that doen't make her a wonderful person, and I never said I am a wonderful person for having an affair, but at least I can admit that I am not a good person for having this affair, but that I am happy and know what I am doing. Not too many people can both admit their wrong and happy. Then right away that makes me selfish. So either way, I'm screwed, because I'm the OW.

 

[EnigmaXOXO]

Oh, but that's right...I'm the only rude one around here.

 

Never called you “rude” ... and never claimed that I wasn’t.

 

So where do you get off saying that child is a bastard?

 

That’s exactly what you are insinuating, although in a less direct round-about way when you make the statement that this child is somehow not as valuable to his step father because it isn’t his biological offspring. That somehow the situation you were placed in as a child was different than the situation this kid will put into (with your help) ... simply because you were blood related while this child was only adopted. And so that’s how you justify your nasty, nasty attitude and behavior.

 

That to me is just wrong. She knew I was a baby but didn't seem to care about My life. This guy I'm in the affair with has no children (the wife has a child). So he has a step-kid, which to me is not the same as your own bio child--especially an infant.

 

And yes, there are A LOT of unpleasant traits about me, but I never dish out what I’m unwilling to accept in return. And if I have daggers to throw, you’ll see them coming in plenty of time to counter or duck. As a fellow human being, I’ll give you that opportunity. Unlike you, I don’t tiptoe and sneak around behind people so that I can plunge the knives into their backs while they’re not looking.

 

I also haven’t resorted to calling a fellow female a “whore” ... no matter how mixed up I might think she is in the head. Besides, I rather think you’re enjoying all this attention, which is why I’ve been happy to oblige you until now. But go around using the “whore” word in this particular side of the forum, and you may loose all the attention you’ve been feeding off of so far, a lot quicker than you think.

 

Try a new user name and a brand new game ... or perhaps invest in getting yourself some real help.

[Gwyneth]

Never called you “rude” ... and never claimed that I wasn’t.

 

When the heck did I say you said I was rude? I was talking in general. Don't make this about you.

 

That’s exactly what you are insinuating, although in a less direct round-about way when you make the statement that this child is somehow not as valuable to his step father because it isn’t his biological offspring. That somehow the situation you were placed in as a child was different than the situation this kid will put into (with your help) ... simply because you were blood related while this child was only adopted. And so that’s how you justify your nasty, nasty attitude and behavior.

 

 

Oh, so now you know what I am insinuating? That's a perfect example of people around her putting words into my mouth, or twisting my words. And yeah, I think a new born infant to a father is much more valuable than a grown kid who isn't the father's bio child. My father should've been home with me feeding me, getting to know me, bonding, etc. but instead he was having an affair. I think that makes for a huge difference between my father and this guy I'm having an affair with.

 

I don't know you people an explanation of why I'm having an affair. I no longer will explain my actions. I'm happy and that's all that matters. And for the record, I'm here because this is a thread for OW/OM. now if I were in the BS rooms, then yeah, you could ask me to leave. but i dont think anyone has the right to ask an OW to leave an OW's thread when

[GreenEyedLady]

Thanks Gel

 

No problem!

 

Silence is golden, you know...

[Gwyneth]

oops, hit enter too soon.

 

as I was saying, but i dont think anyone has the right to ask an OW to leave an OW's thread when...

 

when I am here to talk to other OW and then some.

[NoIDidn't]

Thanks Gel

 

The problem with many of these people is that it's so hard for them to accept that I really do have it all together. I even have my affair in order and it's going the way I want it.

 

.......

 

 

As if that's so irrational.

 

 

 

This actually made me laugh, out loud, even!!

 

No one has it all together. Not even you. Nothing in most people's lives goes the way that they want it. You are in a dream land. And, yes, it IS VERY irrational.

 

BTW, no one has twisted your words. Its called communication when someone restates to you their understanding of what you said. You can clarify if it seems you were misunderstood. It would help you in more ways than just on this forum if you weren't so reactionary and actually took the time to read for comprehension, than to come out swinging everytime you read a post that doesn't regurgitate your desired wording.

[Gwyneth]

NoIDidn'tQuote:

Originally Posted by Gwyneth

Thanks Gel

 

The problem with many of these people is that it's so hard for them to accept that I really do have it all together. I even have my affair in order and it's going the way I want it.

 

.......

 

 

As if that's so irrational.

 

 

This actually made me laugh, out loud, even!!

 

No one has it all together. Not even you. Nothing in most people's lives goes the way that they want it. You are in a dream land. And, yes, it IS VERY irrational.

 

BTW, no one has twisted your words. Its called communication when someone restates to you their understanding of what you said. You can clarify if it seems you were misunderstood. It would help you in more ways than just on this forum if you weren't so reactionary and actually took the time to read for comprehension, than to come out swinging everytime you read a post that doesn't regurgitate your desired wording.

 

-------------------

 

You're very wrong. You do not know me, so how can you say that I live in a dreamland? Everything I have ever wanted, I have. I have worked Very hard for everything I have. It's really just that simple. I don't live in a dreamworld because if I did, I'd use my magic wand to have created all the things I have. I have also said I knew what I was getting myself into going into this affair, and I know what I hve to do, accept, and need in order to exist and last in this affair. So I am--maybe you should try this for yourself. YOu might surprise yourself how much power you have over your life

[luvmy2ns]

YOu might surprise yourself how much power you have over your life

 

All right. Show us how powerful you are over your own life and actually quit responding to posts like you keep saying you're going to do. If what these people say means nothing to you, prove it and just let it go... let it go... let it go..........

[Gwyneth]

And another thing, Ms. Nadia, I am not lettting this grown man do anything. He's a big boy and can make big boy decisions on his own. If he wants to have an affair and spend time with me when he should be with his family, that's his choice, just like it was my father's choice. For the record, though, he was never with me when he should have been home with his family.

 

The bottom line is, he's a big boy and can make big boy decisions all on his own. It's his family--I cannot tell him what to or not to do. yes, I am part of his choices, but as I have said, if he doesn't care about his family or his marriage, why should I?

[nadiaj2727]

Most step-parents I know are not responsible for their step kids.

 

And yet there are many that are. You can't put your own distinctions on what makes a child a child. A step child is a child. It doesn't matter what you say.

 

And I know you would have punched me, because you are very immature like that. That's how people like you get yourself into trouble... you have no control over your emotions. You're going to be slapped with a lawsuit one day, no doubt. Be careful! (Of course you won't listen to that advice either, because it makes too much sense!)

 

Please Nadia, do yourself a favor and walk away and leave me alone.

 

I don't have to do that Gwenyth, this is a public forum and I'm free to post anything I'd like. If you don't want to hear what I have to say, then stop responding to my posts.

[TogetherForever]

All right. Show us how powerful you are over your own life and actually quit responding to posts like you keep saying you're going to do. If what these people say means nothing to you, prove it and just let it go... let it go... let it go..........

 

 

Hey luvmy,

Maybe the mods should let this thread go already.

Enough's enough.

TF