toshomokuroku Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 See, there's this guy. And he's one of my best friends. He lives a little over an hours drive away and he comes to see me about every other weekend. We shared an apartment with another friend during our senior year of college. Obviously, we know each other well. We are both single, although he is hardly ever so and discontent while I embrace my perpetual singleness. Last weekend, he came to visit and everything was just as it always is, lots of fun. We acted like an old married couple, renting movies, ordering takeout, playing board games and finishing each others sentences. But on Saturday night, the man who has avoided physical contact with me for years gets all cuddly during the movie. Granted we were drinking, but we've done that on a regular basis and nothing ever happened before. So we are talking after the movies over, and the conversation gets rather emotional and I start to tear up, he starts to hold me, and doesn't't let go until I tell him that I am going to bed and get up to leave. Next morning, we don't talk about it and he goes home. We still haven't talked about it. I don't know why it happened, if he even remembers it (he was quite drunk), or if we even need to talk about it. I don't know how he feels, or how I feel, even. I like him a lot, but I don't feel the butterflies. But I do feel strongly about him. I just don't know if it is enough to jeopardize a friendship over. On the other hand, me and strong feelings for people doesn't happen very often. All I know is something changed between us on Saturday night and I don't know how to talk to him about it. Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Nothing changed at all. He got a little sentimental while he was drinking, held you for a bit, then let you go and forgot about it. The changes have occurred in you, not him. He has had nothing further to say about it. So if you are pissed at what he did and you feel that his friendly cuddling has damaged the friendship, by all means tell him so he can find another friend to cuddle with. As you said, he is seldom without female companionship so I'm sure he'll have no problems whatsoever. If this is such a pressing matter to you, bring it up in conversation. But I think you will find he will be quite shocked that you put such importance on it, particularly in the absense of any serious advances on his part. However, talking to him will surely cause him to step back a few feet and keep his distance from you in the future...and you will resolve whatever it is inside of you that now feels uneasy. Link to post Share on other sites
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