PulseNZ Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 This board is great, I can tap a wealth of female knowledge to try and learn a little more about the way you all think. I'd like to talk about physical attraction vs emotional attraction. Here is a situation and I would like you to tell me how you would react. You're single. You go out to a bar with friends one night and meet two single guys who are very interested in you. Assume you don't want a one night stand or a fling (you've got a **** buddy or vibrator or something ), you're looking for a potential boyfriend. The first is very attractive 10/10 (Brad Pitt... Vin Diesel... whoever turns you on). But after talking to him for awhile you realise you have little in common and all in all he's a bit cocky, but he's not all bad, makes you laugh a bit, quite smooth. You make a date. The second is somewhat attractive, say a 6/10. He is funny, intelligent and the two of you just hit it off really well and talk for hours. You have a lot in common and he is a perfect gentleman. You make another date. The first date... He picks you up in a stunning car and takes you out for a night on the town... everywhere you go, you notice other girls stealing looks... he seems oblivious to this though (ie he doesnt strut or flirt with other girls... his attention is on you). You have a great night and cant believe that you are dating a man of such calibre... your friends meet him and he says something smooth that makes them giggle, they are very jealous. During the night though, your conversation was adquate but you're hardly solemates... he's a real typical guy and prefers conversation about sports or cars and prefers to be heard rather than listen. When he drops you off (no sex on the first date people!) he kisses you passionately like you've never been kissed before. The second date... He picks you up opens the door for you and takes you on pretty much the same date (ie location wise)... a night on the town. However, no other girls give him a second look. You cant remember the last time you had such an indepth conversation with a guy... you talk for hours and hours which feel like minutes. Your friends are there again and they get on well with him, he's an extravert and easily converses with people he doesnt know. Your friends comments resemble "what a nice guy' unlike their comments about your last date which were along the lines of "oh my god hes gorgeous". When he drops you off he gives you a peck on the cheek and says he'll call you. Both are the same age, both have good jobs, both live alone. You must choose one to continue dating, once you've chosen the other will not go out with you ever again. Who is your most likely choice? Consider where I am going with this... the one guy is stunningly attractive and a good guy. The other is above average but not nearly as good looking as the first, but he is your soulmate. Be truthful! Women are animals too! Dont say what you think I want to hear! Comments? Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 A man's perspective (a very untypical one) prefers to be heard rather than listen hrm... doesn't sound too good there. When he drops you off (no sex on the first date people!) he kisses you passionately like you've never been kissed before. Kisses you on the first date... hrm what are we looking for here? soulmate? ...?...?...?...? A bar sounds like a great place to meet people... not. Link to post Share on other sites
emmybug Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 well this is an obvious choice for most self-respecting women. this reminds me slightly of my boyfriend. the almost exact situation went on. both asked me out (to my surprise) and i went on a date witht my soulmate, and did not even go on the second date. listen, when you meet your soulmate, no one can match up to them. he becomes the most gorgeous man in the world, and if he doesn't, you still get lost in his eyes. yes, looks count, but if the conversation gets to the point of "stimulating," then the intelligence and sense of humor are what count more. also, you mentioned getting along with the friends. i guess i am the jealous type, but i would not be comfortable with my friends gawking at my guy. i am delighted when i can leave my boyfriend with my friends without feeling bad, and knowing that it is not a task to either one. the soulmate is the obvious choice to anyone who wants to find... well, their soulmate. Link to post Share on other sites
jessicakicksbut Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 I'd personally pick guy #2, because to me conversation is one of the most important elements of a relationship that will work over time. Also, I am a total push-over for guys who are very gentlemen-like with average to above average looks. My current boyfriend, not many other girls would give him a second look, but I could really care a less because he treats me like a queen! Besides, I could really care a less if my friends find a guy great or not, afterall they are the not the one's dating him, I AM! Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 Yep...I'd have to choose bachelor #2. But can't I date Bachelor #1 just a few more times? Just until I get bored?? Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 The flaw in your hypothetical is that most people don't become exclusive after one date. So, I'd go out with both of them for a couple of months, get to know them both a little better (one night at a bar and one date is not enough), and then make a decision. I am always wary of guys like #1, the smooth player types, but if he is treating me well and doesn't seem to be playing games, there is no reason to write him off immediately. Guy #2 sounds great, but physicial attraction and chemistry is a necessity. A 6/10 for one person may be a 9/10 for another. Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 I agree with enigma - lol - I MAY need more than one or two dates to decide. But my past experience tells me the pretty boys don't last and I would probably end up with guy #2 and be perfectly happy. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 When I was in my 20's I dated bachelor #1 a few times. Had a blast. Made no commitments. I also dated bachelor #2 and married him. We've been together more than 2 decades now and are very happy. He's far sexier than bachelor #1 ever was. At least to me. If I want something flashy to show off, I'll wear diamonds. If I want something wonderful so that my friends know I'm happy and content, I'll keep my husband. Quality over Quantity any time. Link to post Share on other sites
Pookette Posted May 17, 2003 Share Posted May 17, 2003 Like HokeyReligions, I dated 1 and married 2. If all a woman wants is a one or two night stand, she'll probably go with 1. If she's looking for in my opinion a good relationship, she would most likely go with 2. Link to post Share on other sites
Bizzit Posted May 17, 2003 Share Posted May 17, 2003 [color=violet][/color] I have been there! I was married to a man that was very attractive and acted like he was all that. Over a period of time(mine was 20years) you kinda get to wanting someone that wants to be in to YOU! Meaning, the man that makes you happy. You dont judge a book by its cover and you dont close a book when it has something that intrest you. I dated a man that was not attractive to anyone but ME and his heart is what I seen. He cared for me... He walked me to the cars he opend my doors, he done things for me that I had never been shown in my life from anyother. I understand lady's wanting to have a man that make their girl friends go gooie eyed but when you have a heart and your looking for someone to share that time in your life with you remember when your happy and what made you happy. MEN are just like us wemon they have feelings too. Follow what makes you happy not what you think everyone else thinks about him. If you look deep in your self you will see that the romance in your life that you like is coming from the man that isnt getting all the attention. JMHO Link to post Share on other sites
katybird Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 If, after the first date with the "soul mate" I still didn't find him more than slightly attractive, then I probably wouldn't go out with him again. Someone said it above: if we really like someone, we find them gorgeous. So, if he proved to be an incredible match for me, by the end of the date I'd be very attracted to him and want to see him again. As for the very handsome man, depending on my current situation, I might still want to have fun with him. You said that I have to pick, which is not how it works in real life. In real life, I'd probably go out with Handsome again, but still see Soul Mate. I think that very quickly, Handsome would become less attractive, and I'd be enamoured of Soul Mate. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 #2 hands down -- eye candy is nice, but not as satisfying as being with someone who you can kick back with each and every time Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Posted May 21, 2003 Board of Directors Share Posted May 21, 2003 To date Prospective Boyfriend #1, turn to page 36. To date Prospective Boyfriend #2, turn to page 75. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 How 'bout we take all the good looks, charm and sexual prowess of bachelor #1 and combine them with the sensitive and caring parts of bachelor #2...to create the new-and-improved BACHELOR NUMBER THREE??!! Sorry, but there's no "page number" for this one...'cause he's mine and I'm not sharing! Link to post Share on other sites
BadMan Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 Did he plagerize? Originally posted by Paul To date Prospective Boyfriend #1, turn to page 36. To date Prospective Boyfriend #2, turn to page 75. Link to post Share on other sites
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