Ex-girlfriend

[LateShow20]

Hi,

I'm new here and looking for some advice. This may be long but I'll try to keep it as short as I can.

 

I met my ex-girlfriend online and we were just friends for about a year. Then we started to get flirty, then it got more serious and eventually we fell for each other. We decided we didn't wanna do a long distance thing but after about a year of wishing we could be together we decided that we would make it official. I was a freshmen in college at the time and this was in the fall so once I had the time off during the summer I we finally met and it was great. We continued and I visited her again for our one year anniversary. Last fall I secured an internship in her area. That spring we got into a fight and broke up but still remained very close and acted exactly like we did when we were dating. So summer comes. It's amazing we are practically a couple but it isnt' offical. Towards the end of the summer I asked if she wanted to get back together and she said "no." When I asked why she told me that she wasnt' happy with herself and that if she wasn't happy with herself then she couldn't be happy with us. To me that makes perfect sense and as much as it hurt I had to accept it. I love her and want her to be happy. She has said that she still loves me but she doesn't know how long it will take for her to want to be with someone again.

 

We stayed close since then but in an attempt to get over me we've stopped talking on the phone as often as we used to. Before we would talk hours a day on the phone everyday. Now we talk about 2 or 3 days for an hour or so each time. We still talk online as well. She still iniciates the converstions online quite often so I know she doesnt' want to lose touch. She has told me not to expect getting back together just be open to it. She wants me to make sure I look at other options and see if there is someone else out there for me. We have talked about her coming to visit me recently. And has said she would love it if I took another internship or job up there in the future. However, she has told me she doesn't want to do another long distance thing.

 

I know we won't be getting back together now or anytime soon. I want to be on this girls mind and I dont' want her to forget about me? I really think me and her have something together. Please help me out. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I could get back to being with this girl? I know it won't be anytime soon but any help would be great. Thank you!

[Lyssa]

She has told me not to expect getting back together just be open to it. She wants me to make sure I look at other options and see if there is someone else out there for me.

 

Your ex is right. Let it come naturally. I think that's very wise of her. You both should keep your options open and see where it goes. Take your time. She probably isn't ready for a relationship yet. It doesn't mean you have to stop spending time with her... just be open to it. Who knows, given time you both will end up together again.