kayla55 Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 Ok, this is very complicated. I have known this guy since high school. We have been talking online for years now. I must add he is married and im in a relationship. Anyways, there is this crazy attraction or connection between us, I don't know what it is, but im drawn to him. And its the same for him with me. He wants to see me, and I want to see him as well, but know what would happen if I did. We saw each other for a while when we were younger so we know what to expect, but the attraction is so strong that its hard to not want to give in to it. I know its wrong but it doesn't feel that way. He won't leave his wife, im sure of it, he is the one asking to meet up. What is going on with this attraction thing? Any insight? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 Well, unless you are ready to embark on an A, I wouldn't meet up with him...The odds are that is what it would turn into...What are you missing from your current R that makes you seek it out in this man? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kayla55 Posted November 7, 2007 Author Share Posted November 7, 2007 I am missing a connection with current bf. But this guy I have known for so long, we have seen each other once 6 years ago. But the connection between us is intense. I don't understand it on his end, because he is married and says he is happy, but if he was happy , why is he pursuing me? And I flat out asked him that, his response was he has never been attracted to someone like he is with me before. I feel the same way about him. So im confused. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 I am missing a connection with current bf. But this guy I have known for so long, we have seen each other once 6 years ago. But the connection between us is intense. I don't understand it on his end, because he is married and says he is happy, but if he was happy , why is he pursuing me? And I flat out asked him that, his response was he has never been attracted to someone like he is with me before. I feel the same way about him. So im confused. If you are missing the connection with your current B/F, what keeps you there with him? Why not find someone who you do have that connection with? It's better for both of you in the long run... As for the MM, I don't know what to say about him being married and happy...Mine never claimed that to be the case...I know there are many men who just want more-their W and an OW...They seem to think they're entitled to it, for whatever reason... And he could just be playing you...If you don't want to ruin the friendship or be involved in an A, just cool it with him...Who knows, maybe he has gained 50 pounds and has a beer gut now... Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 Sometimes guys get a little bored in their marriages, and if the sexual chemistry was/is strong between you, he's probably deep into his sexual fantasies of you. If he says he's happy in his marriage, he's not looking to leave his wife and start a relationship with you. He's looking for a little spice on the side. It's one thing to feel an attraction for someone else even while you're committed to your partner. It's quite another to act on those attractions. It speaks to his character and his lack of integrity that he would do that to his wife, AND that he would be willing to pull you into his deceit. You deserve a man who can love you openly and honestly, instead of sneaking around behind his wife's back. If you're not into your bf, then break up with him and feel free to meet other men who might be able to offer you what you deserve. Don't mire yourself in this MM's fantasy life. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 Some men should never be given a penis. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 but if he was happy , why is he pursuing me? Because he's a cheating dog? If you are missing the connection with your current B/F, what keeps you there with him? Good question. Sometimes guys get a little bored in their marriages, and if the sexual chemistry was/is strong between you, he's probably deep into his sexual fantasies of you. If he says he's happy in his marriage, he's not looking to leave his wife and start a relationship with you. He's looking for a little spice on the side. It's one thing to feel an attraction for someone else even while you're committed to your partner. It's quite another to act on those attractions. It speaks to his character and his lack of integrity that he would do that to his wife, AND that he would be willing to pull you into his deceit. You deserve a man who can love you openly and honestly, instead of sneaking around behind his wife's back. If you're not into your bf, then break up with him and feel free to meet other men who might be able to offer you what you deserve. Don't mire yourself in this MM's fantasy life. What a great post! Some men should never be given a penis. I have known this guy since high school. We have been talking online for years now... ...We saw each other for a while when we were younger so we know what to expect, What happened when you were dating? Apparently the rerlationship never went too far. Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 He wants to see me, and I want to see him as well, but know what would happen if I did. We saw each other for a while when we were younger so we know what to expect, but the attraction is so strong that its hard to not want to give in to it. I know its wrong but it doesn't feel that way. He won't leave his wife, im sure of it, he is the one asking to meet up. What is going on with this attraction thing? Any insight? Huh? What do you mean what is going on with this attraction thing, it happens all the time. Men hit on women constantly, just say NO. Look, he is MARRIED, he's willing to cheat, why is there any doubt in your mind about what the smart response should be? He's no prize. Don't you know any single men? I simply don't understand women who can't say no. They must not be used to turning men down. Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 Ok, this is very complicated. I have known this guy since high school. We have been talking online for years now. I must add he is married and im in a relationship. Anyways, there is this crazy attraction or connection between us, I don't know what it is, but im drawn to him. And its the same for him with me. He wants to see me, and I want to see him as well, but know what would happen if I did. We saw each other for a while when we were younger so we know what to expect, but the attraction is so strong that its hard to not want to give in to it. I know its wrong but it doesn't feel that way. He won't leave his wife, im sure of it, he is the one asking to meet up. What is going on with this attraction thing? Any insight? kayla I wouldn't spend a lot of time wondering why a married man (especially someone admitting his M is fine) would be interested in pursuing flirting and possibly more with an old flame (or indeed any woman). That is just a no-brainer. Ego-boost, boredom, need for female attention, flight of fantasy, revisiting old rusted-up feelings, lack of sex at home, need for even more sex and attention than he has at home..? Who knows. The real question here for me is why do you feel attracted to him? What is this man providing for you that your boyfriend is not..? What do you think he could offer you that your boyfriend can't..? Why are you online chatting to old flames..? No really, why are you..? Some of the same reasons this MM has..? Are you happy and looking for more, or is that special something missing with the man you already have..? Do you despair of ever having it with your boyfriend..? I'm not judging you at all, just asking you to look at the whys in your own actions. Does he feel 'safe' (old flame, know what to expect) and at the same time 'dangerous' (married, electrical attraction)..? What is going on with that..? Again I'm not judging you. I got myself involved with a MM at a very vulnerable stage in my life (and his)... so I know what it was with me. So... ask yourself some of these questions, and some others... get to the bottom of it, and then see where it takes you. It could make for some interesting insight. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 Ok, this is very complicated. I have known this guy since high school. We have been talking online for years now. I must add he is married and im in a relationship. Anyways, there is this crazy attraction or connection between us, I don't know what it is, but im drawn to him. And its the same for him with me. He wants to see me, and I want to see him as well, but know what would happen if I did. We saw each other for a while when we were younger so we know what to expect, but the attraction is so strong that its hard to not want to give in to it. I know its wrong but it doesn't feel that way. He won't leave his wife, im sure of it, he is the one asking to meet up. What is going on with this attraction thing? Any insight? So basically, you're willing to cheat on your boyfriend for some hot sex with a married man who has no intention of leaving his wife for you. No relationship, just hot sex. I'm NOT telling you to go ahead and do this, but if you are going to have sex with him or any other man, END your relationship with your boyfriend. It is unfair and selfish of you to do this to your boyfriend. I am missing a connection with current bf. But this guy I have known for so long, we have seen each other once 6 years ago. But the connection between us is intense. I don't understand it on his end, because he is married and says he is happy, but if he was happy , why is he pursuing me? And I flat out asked him that, his response was he has never been attracted to someone like he is with me before. I feel the same way about him. So im confused. Then maybe you need to talk to your boyfriend and end it with him, if you are unhappy, then let your boyfriend go meet someone else who can love him and not cheat on him. OR, talk to your boyfriend so he can have a chance at fixing things to make you feel happier and feel that connection again...But, to be honest I think you've allowed this fantasy to ruin what you have with your guy at home. This MM is looking for SEX, nothing else. If you're willing to lay it down for him, he'll grab it. This has nothing to do with you, or his love for his wife and his kids, if he has any, this is all about HIM. Sexual lust is NOT love. You need to think about what you are doing, do some reading in this section and see what you're up against before you decide to help this man cheat on his wife, betray his whole family. Do you want to be the OW, his affair partner? Think about this, if your boyfriend was about to cheat on with a married woman, how would you feel? Imagine if you were married and your husband was lusting after someone else, how would you feel? Or if you were a child and you found out your daddy was cheating on your mom. Don't be selfish, this man is WRONG and should NOT be putting himself out there like he is available, he's NOT! He's married and he's acting inappropriately. Anyway, the choice is yours and I really hope you decide not to have sex with him. He isn't yours for taking, and he's a flipping fool to be playing this game when he's a married man. Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 It sounds like you and he have intense and unresolved connections between the two of you. Giving in to them may only make it stronger or could resolve the problem (sexual tension). Is it possible to talk to him about it? This reminds me of that love story/movie - Same Time Next Year Great flick. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 7, 2007 Share Posted November 7, 2007 I am missing a connection with current bf. But this guy I have known for so long, we have seen each other once 6 years ago. But the connection between us is intense. I don't understand it on his end, because he is married and says he is happy, but if he was happy , why is he pursuing me? And I flat out asked him that, his response was he has never been attracted to someone like he is with me before. I feel the same way about him. So im confused. I think that, in your case, it is the best way to end an eventual physical A... it hasn't started yet... just put an end right now... because YOU WILL get hurt. This guy will not leave his wife.. he knows you pretty well... he just wants sex. no brainer here... If he was sooo attracted to you, YOU'd be the one.. but you're not. He only wants sex, it's quite clear. Come on.. unless you want to have sex with this guy with NO strings attached.. then you got to stop it right now... if you go ahead with it.. be prepared to get hurt... it's that simple. Life is all about choices... we choose to be happy or miserable. Link to post Share on other sites
PoshPrincess Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 Ok, this is very complicated. I have known this guy since high school. We have been talking online for years now. I must add he is married and im in a relationship. Anyways, there is this crazy attraction or connection between us, I don't know what it is, but im drawn to him. And its the same for him with me. He wants to see me, and I want to see him as well, but know what would happen if I did. We saw each other for a while when we were younger so we know what to expect, but the attraction is so strong that its hard to not want to give in to it. I know its wrong but it doesn't feel that way. He won't leave his wife, im sure of it, he is the one asking to meet up. What is going on with this attraction thing? Any insight? Don't go there Kayla! For your own sanity you need to cut contact with him. He sounds like the worse kind of cheating MM - he is happy in his M, yet he's still chasing after an OW! This will lead to nothing but heartache for you if you pursue things. As for your BF, I know, I am the same with mine. The connection is missing. You have to decide though whether you want to continue in your R with him without that chemistry. Don't ever settle for anything than the best! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t135322/ Read this thread Kayla, and then decide if you want to help him inflict that pain on his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 My MM pursued me as well. I had this attraction to him for months then one day, he and I started with this intense eye contact, and then he approached me and began pursuing me. Yeah yeah, he's unhappy, blah blah, but then I chose to pursue an affair with him knowing he was married with the notion that he Could be lying to me about his unhappiness. Then I think, if a man is willing to go as far as this guy to cheat on his wife, then he Must not be that happy at home. Well this was my choice, and what the heck. Thing is, I haven't already had a history with this guy, and I was single, so didn't have to worry about cheating on a partner of my own--that's something you have to think about too. Are you with your BF because you do not want to be alone? Was this MM so worth it years ago that you are willing to take part in affair with him AND cheat on your BF? You have a lot of things to think about. Now while I'm no one to be telling you Not to have an affair cuz he's married, I think you just need to look at the big picture here. What is it that you Really want? A fling? For me that's all I'm looking for, but don't go dump your BF, then expect this MM to leave his wife for you--you might already have a good thing you are willing to dump and/or cheat on because of some guy who you used to have a thing with. Be careful...and Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 Some men should never be given a penis.But then what would they have to THINK with? Link to post Share on other sites
Shades of Grey Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 He sounds like the worse kind of cheating MM - he is happy in his M, yet he's still chasing after an OW! SO SO true. Run, run like the wind!!! Link to post Share on other sites
uniqueone Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 Sounds to me like you want some type of Harlequin Romance going on in your life. You're not getting it from your BF and it sounds to you like you could get it from this MM. It sounds exciting and sexy....a rush! You don't want to think about the part that he's married or wouldn't leave his W.....you just want the excitement and the rush. And that's how it starts....... And you get your rush and then you start thinking about him after he leaves....and you think about him a lot. And you become addicted to the rush. Only, just like drugs, the rush doesn't stay high....it starts to have a letdown afterwards. You start to feel bad....after he leaves you think about him going home to his W and having the life you want with him. You wonder why she gets what you should have. You wonder why if he feels so connected to you, he goes home to her. You become sad.....but you're addicted to the rush. At least you still feel that rush while he's there with you and that's better than nothing, you figure. You figure that you'd rather have the rush and the subsequent pain then no rush at all. Eventually the rush becomes less and the pain becomes more. He's not as excited to see you...he might even brush you off at times. You feel like a fool for giving so much of yourself so freely. You hoped there'd be a reward eventually but instead you're being tossed aside like yesterday's garbage. Should I go on or are you getting the picture of your future.......? Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 I wonder what would happen if Kayla's boyfriend was approached by the MM's Wife and they got into it, Turnabout is not nice now is it??? This guy who's plotting to cheat on his wife with you Kayla is scum, dont mess with him. Alot of people will possibly will lose respct for you and everything. Your gonna end up an accessory for breaking up this guys marriage. Let some other dumb chick be the reason. You dont want an AOA lawsuit now do you? Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted November 9, 2007 Share Posted November 9, 2007 But then what would they have to THINK with? ROTFLMFAO!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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