mark1210 Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 So a few days ago I've been talking to this woman I met off the Internet, Tuesday she mentioned possibly grabbing coffee Wednesday night if I was free. I said it sounded like a great idea. She mentions that she wants to be upfront with me, she tells me "she is dating a guy and has been for the past 3 months, but that you can never have too many friends". Not knowing if she was being serious or testing me I said yep, that is true. Wednesday comes along and we meet up. It went very well, a very good meeting (I hesitate to say date) indeed. One thing I noticed is that she brought up how the guy she is dating opens the doors for her and orders off the menu for her and how she appreciates that. So her speaking highly of him infront of me pretty much tells me I'm stuck in the friends zone. I figured if I trumped this guy, she wouldn't mention him. My question is, am I right? I found out she is a little bothered by his age (he is 30, she is 24) but other than that nothing. I'm debating asking her if she has any cool single unattached friends. If nothign else, it would probably show her I won't be played, and I won't wait around. Or is it best just for me to crash and burn it with her? She has mentioned we should do it again as of this morning, and has thanked me twice for the great time. Other than hugging hello and goodbye, nothing happened. Link to post Share on other sites
heatherd1201 Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 Maybe you should play the friend card for a little bit. If you were interested in her in a romantic way it had to be because you enjoyed her personality and enjoyed her company. Would you not want those same qulities in a friend? If you want to try for something more, continue being the "friend" in a flirty, but not aggressive way. See where that takes you. She might have just mentioned how this guy treats her as a test to you. He might not actually exist. Or she might just be looking for a good friend. I'd say keep meeting up with her. If you dont, you might miss out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mark1210 Posted November 8, 2007 Author Share Posted November 8, 2007 thanks for the reply Heather, as a woman, doesn't it seem a bit odd to mention how great another man is when you're meeting another guy? Like you said, it could have been a test I suppose. Or maybe she just really wanted to give me a heads up. So, me asking her about her friends would be a bad idea? Link to post Share on other sites
heatherd1201 Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 Yes, as a woman I would say that asking about any good looking friends of hers is a bad idea!! It would make me feel like I was being used as a tool to get close to someone else, and it would make me feel just....pissed off! I do think that its odd that she would mention him as she did. It might be a test OR she might be saying it so that you dont get the wrong idea about what her intentions are. Its a tough situation. Heres a question- did she laugh at things you said and "touch" you while laughing? like lightly touch your arm while laughing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mark1210 Posted November 8, 2007 Author Share Posted November 8, 2007 She laughed a good deal, there was no touching aside from a hello and goodbye hug. I guess for me, I refuse to play second fiddle, so if she is trying to keep me on the back burner i'd rather know sooner rather than later. Link to post Share on other sites
heatherd1201 Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 I think its funny that your name has 1210 in it and mine is 1201. Link to post Share on other sites
heatherd1201 Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 She laughed a good deal, there was no touching aside from a hello and goodbye hug. I guess for me, I refuse to play second fiddle, so if she is trying to keep me on the back burner i'd rather know sooner rather than later. I ABSOLUTELY agree! I would NEVER want to be the back burner person "just in case". I would talk to her and find out what her intentions are. Its better to be upfront about it before letting your feelings get deeper before you know... Link to post Share on other sites
Lovegod Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 Sounds like she's shopping to replace her current borefriend. Unfortunately, you didn't make the cut, but you made a nice new friend! Forget about her and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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