trying to hold on to someone I can't forgive...

[amy]

I have an ex boyfriend who I left 6 months ago, and he has since broken down in tears on numerous occasions in total apology for his behavior in the past,(ie: blaming his problems and insecurities on me) and wants to be with me again. He has also been in counseling to help himself. I still love him dearly and believe his apologies are sincere and chose to forgive him and go forward as friends slowly.

 

I have been spending most of my free time during the last 3 months with him as a friend, while working through our past problems. He says this is even more than he could have asked for, and seemed appreciative. I wasn't comfortable having sex with him during this time, but still love him with all my heart.

 

Last week we fooled around, and I cried, feeling that I wasn't ready. Then yesterday, he told me that he was so hurt from being sexually rejected by me that he had slept with another girl. We are by no means boyfriend & girlfriend now, but this was not okay with me. I gave him the choice of her or my friendship, and he chose me, with apologies and tears and called her on the phone in front of me saying that he had made a mistake with her and that there would be nothing more between them because he wants to work things out with me now! He will be moving away in 2 more months, and I want us to have nothing but good times before he leaves.

 

So firstly, does anyone think I'm making a mistake?

 

And if not, how can I become better at forgiving and letting go of my own hurt and pain to move on in a positive way for us both in these last 2 months together?

[h]

This "ex boyfriend" sounds like a real manipulator. Manipulators use guilt and sorrow as stealth weapons. "I HAD TO sleep with another girl" is one of the most often used "feel very sorry for me" lines used by men to force sexual action by a partner, but if viewed in the correct manner, is just a way of verbally raping you without your knowledge. Be extremely careful with this person. Your love and trust may not be justifiable, regardless of how he "apologized". Once having accomplished his aims by manipulation apology is an easy follow-up. The dirty work has already been done. You may be making a bad mistake.

 

h

 

I have an ex boyfriend who I left 6 months ago, and he has since broken down in tears on numerous occasions in total apology for his behavior in the past,(ie: blaming his problems and insecurities on me) and wants to be with me again. He has also been in counseling to help himself. I still love him dearly and believe his apologies are sincere and chose to forgive him and go forward as friends slowly. I have been spending most of my free time during the last 3 months with him as a friend, while working through our past problems. He says this is even more than he could have asked for, and seemed appreciative. I wasn't comfortable having sex with him during this time, but still love him with all my heart. Last week we fooled around, and I cried, feeling that I wasn't ready. Then yesterday, he told me that he was so hurt from being sexually rejected by me that he had slept with another girl. We are by no means boyfriend & girlfriend now, but this was not okay with me. I gave him the choice of her or my friendship, and he chose me, with apologies and tears and called her on the phone in front of me saying that he had made a mistake with her and that there would be nothing more between them because he wants to work things out with me now! He will be moving away in 2 more months, and I want us to have nothing but good times before he leaves. So firstly, does anyone think I'm making a mistake? And if not, how can I become better at forgiving and letting go of my own hurt and pain to move on in a positive way for us both in these last 2 months together?