nottoosure Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 I am a 28 yo married female, fairly attractive, and have recently become friends with a coworker at my new job, who is also married, and about 10 years older than me. A few weeks ago we went to a company party and I leaned on his shoulder on the way home. He never made any sort of move on me. Things got a little weird for me I felt maybe that i had made myself a little vulnerable and had a hard time talking with him at work. A couple of work days later, he approached me and said that we needed to talk. He told me that despite the fact he had developed feelings for me the friendship was way more important to him and we didn't want to be cheaters. He did seem kind of nervous when he was talking. My husband is very upset with this other guy because he thinks he's hitting on me, and thinks he has violated the trust and friendship that the coworker and I have started. He says that he's not a nice guy. I think he is a good guy, and don't think he was "making a play" as my husband insists. Is this just innocent or does he have other intentions? What's going on? Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 IA few weeks ago we went to a company party and I leaned on his shoulder on the way home. He never made any sort of move on me. Things got a little weird for me I felt maybe that i had made myself a little vulnerable and had a hard time talking with him at work. Why touch him in that way? Do you want him to like you? Link to post Share on other sites
Tripper Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 ...agree with your husband. This guy is quietly feeling you out to see if you are open to more than friendship. After all you did lean on his shoulder which in MHO is not appropriate for a married woman to do with a married coworker. And that probably gave him some sort of vibe. Stating he has feelings for you but values the friendship is like saying yeah, we're each married to someone else but if your interested in cheating so am I, but I'll couch it in such a way so I can beg off with out pissing you off... unless your interested ... then give me a sign... Yeah a little long winded but I want you to get my drift. I'd watch this guy and your own actions around him unless of course you want to scratch this itch... Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 the fact he had developed feelings for me Guys never tell you they have feelings for you when they aren't hitting on you. This is ridiculous. I don't see how you can even ask. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 8, 2007 Share Posted November 8, 2007 It's hard to say.. he could be 'putting up a little show' to make you believe he's a nice guy so you'll fall for him... cause he probably thinks you hit on him first by touching him... He could be very honest as well... only time will tell... but my question: Why did you have to tell your husband about this guy if you think this was harmless????? Sometimes, especially in this case, silence is gold. Link to post Share on other sites
squeak Posted November 9, 2007 Share Posted November 9, 2007 My husband is very upset with this other guy because he thinks he's hitting on me, and thinks he has violated the trust and friendship that the coworker and I have started. He says that he's not a nice guy. I think he is a good guy, and don't think he was "making a play" as my husband insists. Is this just innocent or does he have other intentions? What's going on? Ummm, did you mention to your husband the part of how you put your head on the other guys shoulder the ride home? Or conveniently left it out so it looks like you are being hit on by another man for no reason of your own doing? It's a funny thing, placing your head on a guys shoulder, or leaving your hand on his thigh while gazing into his eyes makes them think you are sending out signals. Weird, huh? Well it worked! Then again-this line : "He told me that despite the fact he had developed feelings for me the friendship was way more important to him and we didn't want to be cheaters. He did seem kind of nervous when he was talking. " He may also have been blowing you off because he felt YOU were coming on to him- while trying to be as polite as possible. Hard to say which. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted November 9, 2007 Share Posted November 9, 2007 Your coworker thought you were hitting on him or making a play for him when you put your head on his shoulder. And damn, if he didn't prove that all men aren't cheaters! He told you to back off. Your husband is wrong - he didn't make a play. But, it's actually far worse for your husband. YOU made the play. Did you tell your husband about putting your head on this guy's shoulder??? BTW - are you married to this guy? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1398828&posted=1#post1398828 Link to post Share on other sites
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