Can anyone assist me in deciphering his actions? Are we really just friends?

[stella591]

I'll try not to make this too long. I've known this guy for about 3 months and we've been hanging out mostly with the same group of people just as friends. He is flirtatious by nature and is the type of guy who gets along well with girls and has lots of friends who are female. That is why I have trouble figuring out if his flirtatious behavior is just him being friendly or if he might be interested in something more. Sometimes I get the feeling that he might like me and that he flirts with me more than anyone else, but other times I think he just wants to be friends.

 

Here is what he does:

-He compliments me all the time - my hair (several times), my clothes, my taste in music, movies, and stores - he pretty much agrees with or praises everything I say

-He always calls to invite me anytime a group of our friends get together

-He touches me a lot, and not just brushes, but he'll put his hand on my shoulder while talking to me and leave it there for a bit, or he'll put his hands on top of mine while talking to emphasize a point

-When we sit side by side, we often end up sliding next to each other so we are touching - arms and legs on the entire sides of our bodies

-We often mirror each other's body positions

-I catch him looking at me a lot, and he doesn't seem too shy about it either

-He always smiles when he sees me, asks me about myself, and remembers things I've told him before (but this could just be because we're friends)

-He's hugged me a couple of times - really long, tight, full body hugs

-He often sits near me or faces me when we're in groups

-He sang a romantic song to me once while touching my arm

-He called me babe once - as in "see you later, babe"

-He does the eyebrow flash thing

-He sometimes gets fidgety around me

-He stares directly into my eyes - its cute, but it could just be because we're friends and he's a confident guy

 

Things he doesn't do that I think he would if he liked me:

-He doesn't call just to talk

-He's never asked only me to hang out with him, although we have gone out alone before, it wasn't because he only asked me - he asked others, but they were busy

-When we are alone, he doesn't actively try to extend our conversations - like if we have lunch and everyone else leaves, he doesn't stick around just to talk to me (but this could also be because he has work to do)

-He doesn't take advantage of opportunities to hang out with me alone or extend conversations beyond what would be considered normal when we are alone (i.e., we hang out at a bookstore for a while, but he proposes leaving first and doesn't suggest dinner afterwards)

-When it is just the two of us, he is much less flirtatious and much more serious - we do less goofing around and flirting and more just talking about our lives, experiences, and interests...much more laid back than when we are in a group.

-He won't tell me I'm pretty or attractive, but will only tell me that I look exactly like a certain actress - even in the way I smile and blink my eyes - and he keeps telling me this repeatedly. The actress is pretty, so I just assume it is a compliment on my appearance.

-Most of all, it just seems like he doesn't take advantage of every opportunity to hang out with me or talk to me alone like he would if he was really interested in me. Instead, he still prefers the group thing, doesn't ask me out when he knows I'll be spending the evening alone, and doesn't try to prolong the alone time we do have together.

 

As you can see, I'm really confused about his intentions. Is his flirting just friendly and part of his nature, or does he want something more? He compliments a lot of girls, is slightly touchy-feely (for a guy), and is really nice, polite, talkative, and cordial to lots of girls (we have several mutual friends), but I kind of always got the feeling that the largest combination of these actions were directed at me. Then again, that could just be my own wishful thinking. I'm crazy about this guy, but just can't tell if I should make a move. Sometimes he's ridiculously flirtatious, and other times we just talk and hang out like platonic friends. I don't want to make a move and risk our friendship and make it awkward for us and our friends unless I know absolutely for certain that he's interested and not just being his flirtatious self. I always feel like the guy in the friendships - like I'm the one waiting for my guy friend to come around and be interested in me, but I'm not sure we've known each other long enough or we're good enough friends for that. I've had several people, guys and girls, tell me I'm attractive, so I hope that old belief that guys and girls can't be just friends if the guy finds the girl attractive holds true and maybe he'll come around. I don't know what else to do other than wait it out and hope that something more than friendship develops because I want him so badly. Any advice, comments, or suggestions would be much appreciated since I can't tell if he likes me and I don't know where to go from here.

 

P.S. This is random, but something I've always wondered. If a guy tells you he likes some article of your clothing, does he mean that he actually likes the material item itself, or does it mean he likes the way you look in that piece of clothing?

[Poboy]

sounds to me like he is an outgoing flirtatious kinds. if he does these same things with other girls then i don't think he is interested in you but you never know.

have you flirted with him , showed him signs that you are interested in him. try to flirt with him good and see how he reacts. maybe he is interested and wants to see if you are too.

[Lovegod]

When the hell does a guy hang out with a woman hoping to become "just friends"? NEVER.

 

He's just too dumb to actually ask the woman out. Instead, he's waiting for the woman to give him the first green light. In other words, he wants the woman to ask him out. He's increased his chances of this happening by befriending multiple women.

 

If you'd like to go out with him, then ask him. I know women generally want the man to take the lead in stuff like this, but the ball's in your court.

[squeak]

Another thing to consider is if you really want to be with this guy, and you end up with him-what happens to his behavior towards all the other girls he is touchy feely and flirty with? Especiaqlly they are all your mutual friends too.

 

Will he magically cut them out-or will you be surronded by his flrtatious entourage of giggling girls?