Phateless Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Yep, that's where I went! And under personals is "casual encounters," and these people use this as their own personal porn sites. I was shocked to say the least! Yeah, it's a trip... I didn't venture into the guy's section so who knows... there's even an "erotic services" section which I thought was crazy... how can that be legal?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted November 13, 2007 Author Share Posted November 13, 2007 I don't know, but now I remember why I'm not having the sex with the MM LOLOL...some of these personals scare me and scream "run, run now!!!" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted November 13, 2007 Author Share Posted November 13, 2007 Sad thing is, I think this may be where many affairs begin. Dirty men looking for ONSs. Same for women...I haven't ventured there yet, but I saw one that said "wife out of town, come over," or something like that. Makes you really wonder... Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Why don't you guys pm each other? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted November 13, 2007 Author Share Posted November 13, 2007 LOL, true! It's okay, I think we have finally brought the level of this thread down a few notches and can finally call it a day Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Wow, you're rude. You are a perfect example of what I mean by the OPs in this thread being attacked. It's your words that are harsh and just uncalled for. Silly me for coming to a thread named OW/OM thinking I was going to get advice and be able to talk to OW/OM. I'm just amazed that...well, nevermind, cuz most of you don't even want to hear it. You think "god, I hate cheaters, so let me just let these dirty, whorish OW know how I feel," or "I've been there, and I've been hurt, so let me transfer all my hurt onto this OW who is clearly stupid and blindsided by this man." I'm not saying All of you are like this, but most of you are. Seems Gel and I have to deal with it the most. I can be quite blunt and I know it comes off rude, but I wouldn't be so rude as to step my way into someone else's marriage. I don't think you are dirty and unless he is paying you, whorish, just selfish and naive. People come on here to give you advise that would serve you well and get you back on a path to self respect. I mean, sharing is nice and all for like a bunt cake or clothes with your girlfriend, but not someone's husband. And you deserve a man you don't have to share. I know you've said you've been burnt and are guarded and perhaps not ready to invest yourself in a full on relationship. That's all fine and well; lots of people are or have been in that boat. The way to fix it isn't to latch onto someone else's partner till you think you can handle your own. THAT's rude. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Anything beats being attacked on a daily basis by bitter spouses. I do not think any of the five of us deserve that. YOu'll act like we think we're living some glamorous life cuz we have someone else's husbands. There's an ulgy side to the story, thing is, we know how to handle that ugly side. And P.S. I'm not a bitter spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Have you ever been in therapy? If not, or even if you have, maybe you need to dig deep down within yourself and find out why it is you feel the need to play head games. I'm not playing head games. He and I have been perfectly honest with each other from the start. We have no secrets--what's to hide? We know the basics about each other--he's married and I'm not. That's all that matters. Everything else really doesn't matter. Except that we are very attracted to each other and find friendship and comfort in one another. That also really matters. I resent you saying I need therapy. I don't think that's something you should accuse someone of needing. You don't know me well enough to make an assumption like that based on what I have written in this forum. These are words--I'm not words, I'm realistic. Don't base your view on me from what I write. Not everyone is able to express themselves in words as well as in person. I apologize but, I didn't say you needed thearpy, I asked have you ever been in thearpy? Some people can dig down in themselves with out needing a thearpist. That's great you're not playing head games, but you did say you were playing a player. Sounded like head games to me. Anyway since you have chosen to continue to let these threads go on, even after you have said many times you wanted them to end, I'll let you get back to answering the others too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted November 13, 2007 Author Share Posted November 13, 2007 I was kind of being sarcastic, agreeing with the person who suggested I'm playing the player, as I thought that person was being sarcastic too. Link to post Share on other sites
nadiaj2727 Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 GEL -- So you've already been in therapy for an A that you just ended like 2 weeks ago? That's a piece of info you never stated in your first thread...Seems I remember you said you'd told no one but your sister? I wasn't under any obligation to disclose that I was in therapy in my first thread. And I hardly equate telling my therapist with telling my sister. I told my therapist every deep, dark "secret" like therapy should be... like telling my diary. Oh, I guess I should disclose: "I also told my diary." There, that's everyone I told: my sister, my therapist, my diary. Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted November 16, 2007 Share Posted November 16, 2007 My point was, he had the opportunity to walk away yesterday but he didn't. Instead, he is continuing to keep me posted on his life. All I wanted to know is if I should or should Not feel good in any way about his actions. What I am Not looking for is a reminder that I will get hurt--as most of you automatically assume. Gwyneth I'm on page 3 or something here and haven't read forward, so here's my response to this, fwiw. You seem to keep coming back to this idea that people "just walk away" from things. You talk about his W "just walking away" from her marriage if she even suspects he's cheating. As if that was the easiest thing in the world to do (even if she wanted that, which you can't assume). You ask here whether the fact that he hasn't "just walked away" when he had the chance means anything..? I don't really understand what it is you think it means, or are asking. Why should he walk away? He wants an affair. So he's having one. And you're happy (? if you are) to be involved in that. So why would he be walking away? Even if that is what he wanted. And just FYI, I'm a current OW of 3.5 years. Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted November 16, 2007 Share Posted November 16, 2007 Also, to add, Gwyneth there are already forums out there for OW only, all you have to do is do a web search and one pops up immediately. If you feel you need a more protected environment to discuss being an OW then they might help. And no, they're not always supportive of affairs... not if you're unhappy. Basically the advice is: if it's not working for you, get out. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted November 16, 2007 Share Posted November 16, 2007 Reboot, what's "kthnx"? Can I collect some new acronyms and send it to the LS FAQ center, lol? I feel totally out of the loop sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted November 16, 2007 Share Posted November 16, 2007 Reboot, what's "kthnx"? Can I collect some new acronyms and send it to the LS FAQ center, lol? I feel totally out of the loop sometimes. I think I can field this one! Among the youth, this often is a contraction of the two words, "Ok, and Thanks". Reboot is very hip with the lingo! Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted November 16, 2007 Share Posted November 16, 2007 Reboot is very hip with the lingo! I have teenagers, who will often answer a question with "I D K" and sometimes say "L O L" instead of laughing and when surprised will go "O M G!", etc... I had to learn the lingo or kill them. And I couldn't find a good spot to bury them. Link to post Share on other sites
woe_is_me Posted November 16, 2007 Share Posted November 16, 2007 Instead, he worked really hard to keep things together. Here's what happened: His schedule at work changed at last minute--something he knew could happen any day since it goes by seniority. I didn't see him at the usual place yesterday so I just asumed he took the day off since he had said he was going to. Well late morning I received two emails from him saying he has to change his schedule, and that he was home, and was discussing with me which schedule he should opt for. I thought that was sweet of him to include me in on this decision, and that he was trying to work it out so that he and I could still see each other as often as we have been. I thought, though, that at this moment more than ever, he could easily have slipped away and just forgot about me. He didn't though. Instead, he touched base with me about what was going on and considered me and my schedule in his decision making. Today he again touched base with me and told me at what time we could still see each other during the work day. Is this a typical married man who is having "just" an affair? I feel special that he is including me--I know half of you will disagree and lecture me on All the reasons why I should Not let this man make me feel special, but he just does. More reason for me to be "proud" in this relationship with him. It was so easy for him to slip, run away, but he didn't. He told me he misses seeing me already, as we haven't seen each other since Wednesday. How should I take this? I am taking it as a compliment. You're going to get analysis paralysis Gwyn... I wouldn't take it as a compliment and i find your situation odd..weren't you the ow who hadn't even slept with her mm? Can i ask what the attraction actually IS then? And im not one of the ow who was infatuated with a man old enough to be her father...so i don't really think my input will help.. sorry... I WAS going to say that i wouldn't take being scheduled into his day for sex very complimentary (and yes, i know A's aren't always all about the sex)..but none at all?? The mm will almost always 'touch base' with you until the W becomes suspicious or finds out...and when she does...well, i wouldn't wish what you will go through on my worst enemy... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted November 17, 2007 Author Share Posted November 17, 2007 You're going to get analysis paralysis Gwyn... I wouldn't take it as a compliment and i find your situation odd..weren't you the ow who hadn't even slept with her mm? Can i ask what the attraction actually IS then? And im not one of the ow who was infatuated with a man old enough to be her father...so i don't really think my input will help.. sorry... I WAS going to say that i wouldn't take being scheduled into his day for sex very complimentary (and yes, i know A's aren't always all about the sex)..but none at all?? The mm will almost always 'touch base' with you until the W becomes suspicious or finds out...and when she does...well, i wouldn't wish what you will go through on my worst enemy... I haven't slept with him because I don't just quickly jump into bed with any man that comes into my life. Plus, where we gonna do it? At his house, or in our cars, or at my parents' house? I'm only moving back into my own place in a few weeks. I made mistakes in my past I do not want to repeat, which is why I wait until I really know a man before I sleep with him. I might or might not sleep with him. Actually, I think he and I are OVER. I'm happy but secretly upset. He really aggravated me this week in a way that tells me that he and I cannot even be Friends. More on this when I'm allowed to post w/out being moderated. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Originally posted by Reboot> I have teenagers, who will often answer a question with "I D K" and sometimes say "L O L" instead of laughing and when surprised will go "O M G!", etc... I had to learn the lingo or kill them. And I couldn't find a good spot to bury them. ____________________________________________________ I should have known. I guess I didn't expect our kids lingo to end up here. I've got a teenage son that now refuses to laugh. He says, "Lawl!", which means L O L. He cracks me up! Yeah, Cobra, Reboot is quite hip with the lingo:) Couldn't find a good spot to bury them? Try underneath the house in the crawl space:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted November 18, 2007 Author Share Posted November 18, 2007 One mistake was the MM. I'm so p'd off at him right now for what he did--or didn't do, as a friend last week. Forget about him being a MM, true friends do Not do this, and even if one of my female friends did this to me, I'd sa, "adios!" Him being born was a mistake. I'm beginning to think that now. I'm really livid with him, and have had NC with him since Thursday when I wrote him a pretty nasty email. He didn't write back, as expected. I haven't seen him in over a week. Now I'll have to see him this coming Wednesday because of my work schedule. I'm gonna do a celebrity hiding from the paps kind of move (book in front of my face, etc.). Link to post Share on other sites
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