Why he asked me for engagement if He doesn't want to plan anything about wedding yet?

[tontitadeamor]

Me and my fiancee will celebrate our first engagement anniversary on Feb 14th and still we haven't set any day for the wedding. my fiance asked me to take things slower bc First, He decided to pay off for the wedding ( my parents cannot help that much)... he says that he wants to have money enough for our settle down; i live still in the DR which makes things a little harder and more expensive (we have to look forward the fiance visa) and he wants to please me about having a nice wedding. I asked myself "why he asked for engagement if hes not even ready so far yet?" Im not saying that im just concentrating about the "wedding" but my marriage. I just want to be with him, live my life with him. What can i do?

[Lauriebell82]

Some people like long engagements, others don't. Sounds like your fiance wants to save money while being engaged so he can give you a nice wedding. Now if that is not something you are after, and just want some small wedding then you need to tell him. I think you need to talk to him and tell him you want to set a wedding date. Tell him you understand he wants to save money, but you really do want to marry him and have a wedding in the near future.

 

FYI: It takes at LEAST a year to plan a wedding, so keep that in mind.

[catrocks]

It makes sense to want to be financially secure before getting you over there and marrying you - especially as you won't be able to work in the US for a while when you first arrive. However, as far as the wedding goes you can plan your day on a budget if you really want and still have a beautiful wedding. Dresses from sample sales or ebay, ebay in general, enlisting help of family and friends to make the cake, flowers etc..... sure, it's possible to spend as much as you want on your wedding, but there are plenty of ways to save money. Perhaps if you do some research, find out how much things will cost and then try to find ways to save money, and then talk to him about it. If he wants to have money for your future too though, it may take that bit longer but then you'd have a lot less to worry about when you get to the States.

 

Ask him how long he thinks it will be before he's saved enough, and then set a date and start planning... before you set the date make absolutely sure that you will have your visa by then, or you'll just have to postpone, and lose deposits etc. I say just have a small wedding - immigration is stressful enough without worrying whether 50 members of your family will be able to make it, where they wll stay, if they will get lost, or have to change their plane tickets if you have to postpone. Just my opinion though - the marriage is so much more important than the wedding.