Broke up, but best friends? I want more.......

[yagottahelp]

Well here's the basic story. My gf and I of 2 1/2 years broke up. It was kind of out of the blue, we were having some disagreements but we'd been through a 9 month long distance relationship with some bad fights, and we figured it all out and grew from them, so it's not like we couldn't have overcome these minor things.

 

I was under the impression we'd get back together where as she says she needs some space, which I am totally willing to respect. Yet here's the thing, she wants to be the best friends we were, I was hesitant becuase I didn't know how I could do it. But I figured if she was truly a best friend and there was a connection, I'd be able to. Well it's only been a month, but it's worked decent.

 

I have layed off trying to get back together and I don't call her unless I'm called by her, I do'nt IM her unless he does, I really amd doing my best on intnetionally leaving her alone. Well here's the thing, if I don't call, she does everyday, she asks me to hangout every other day, talks to me on im whenever she's there and I'm there.......

 

Well we had a conversation today after hanging out all day, to me, minus kissing, holding hands, etc........it felt like we were still together, and I told her that. I think it's a good thing, because it shows me how close we really still are and were before.

 

She tells me that she knows she has a connection with me that she has never had and she'd be lost without it and that she honestly believes that it'll work out, that we will be married in a few years, and that it will be great, just like we had talked about a few times before.

 

She just said she's at a point in her life right now that for some reason she feels like she needs to just be herself, and if a guy would maybe want to go out to dinner, she could do it, she didn't want either of us to not be open to others.......

 

 

I talked to her and not asking her back out, but just let her know how I felt about being so close, how I thought it was good that we handled the breakup very maturely, and I told her that when we were together, not that I checked people out, that I had friends that were girls, and if I was attracted to them, I would have felt it no matter if I was in a relationship or not.

 

I said I didn't need to be single to have feelings for another girl since that stuff kind of just happens anyway, I can't tell myself to like someone. She really understood where I was coming from and said she was very glad we talked about it, I said that I had learned that I really love her, I didn't need to try other people to know that because I've learned a lot of things about me and her and us over 2 years, and it really has opened my eyes to my mistakes, who I am, who I want to be, and how I needed to treat her.

 

I told her that I totally understood if she didn't feel that way and that it's one of those things that I wish I coudl instill into her, but I knew I couldn't, and maybe she just had to go through what I did to find out her true love for me. I know she does love me, that's not a question in my mind. It's almost that her mind is telling her space, but her heart is still with me. We still click, we flirt like anyhting else, we feel completely comfortable with each other, she still has all my pictures up, talks about the inside jokes we had, has all of the thing I gave her all over her room, she still even sleeps with a dog I gave her almost at the beginning of the relationship.......so she hasn't at least gotten over it

 

I just don't understand, and I kind of told her this, why we couldn't just help each other grow, and if someone came along that she was interested in, then tell me, and break up.......why breakup now planning that it might happen? She's like I just want to be able to go and do things, experience things, I was like does that include a lot of other guys, I said hey, if you want to go hangout with a friend of yours that is a guy, go for it, i trust you, there's no reason you shouldn't, now if you want to make out with him, that I have a problem wiht.......

 

She's like, well see we are broken up so you shouldn't, I said well you can do what you'd like, but honestly I would still feel hurt about it, I can't even imagine you with someone else.......

 

I can't believe that if she found out I hooked up with a girl tomorrow night that she wouldn't be bothered by it, I think she's a lot of talk

 

So basically, I really would like to get back together, but I know that that won't happen until she wants to, if she does. And I want to be as close as possible.......but I know eventually if she does start dating someone else, I'll be upset about it, and I don't want to do something I regret or more likely say something.

 

What should I do? I don't think it's right to just ignore her, or forget her. Yet I don't want to date other peole just for the sake of dating someone, I mean if someone comes along, then I'd be open to it, but I do'nt have any want to search someone out.......I'm so confused about the ex's feelings and how I should handle this, any advice please???????