Let me cry you a river.

[Teddi]

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post, it's probably just a vent or something. But overall, I'm wondering if I'm just not the kinda guy who's cut out to carry a relationship. Should I just fall in love with a tv personality and make it easier for myself?

 

 

I'm a guy in my early 20's, yet to conduct a serious relationship. I did have something I considered a girlfriend a few years ago, but it turned out she was only in it to get to my friend. Needless to say, I dont speak to either of them any more.

 

The last couple of years I have been working from home, and when I go out, it's just to drink with my friends or likewise; not really a suitable environment to start off a friendship in my opinion. I guess I go by the title as "loser" for many.

 

My obvious lack of self-esteem isn't really helping much, but I can usually cover it up with a "I dont really care what people think about me" sorta mask. I do consider myself an intelligent, outgoing, and novel person tho, but that doesn't seem to get me far at my age.

 

 

For the three years I studied design, I was the only male in a 15 to 23 people large class, which gave me a little boost in socializing with females. However, I seem to have become that one "gay" guy in the girls flock, participating in conversations involving clothing, gossip, and yes, guys. I think I am considered a "teddy/uncle" sort of person.

Naturally I just had to fall in love with one of my classmates. She became my best friend for about 3 years, but promptly ended our relationship when I asked her out. Major setback.

 

 

You can probably tell by this post that I am infact a little bitter. I hate to be a whiner, really, its not like me at all. But I'm getting the impression that I'm lacking the "a**h***ness" to start a relationship at my age. Yes, I am a virgin, and the fact that I dont want to lose it drunkenly, saddens me.

I'm tempted to do just this so I can avoid having to elude sex discussions with my friends. The fact that I didn't already seems to amaze a lot of people, quite amusing.

 

As for the girls, I can go from being this really great person one second, to being some laughable "some wierd guy" the next because I have stretchmarks. Are people really that close-minded these days? (I am about 6ft/1.82m and 75 kg, so you cant really tell that I have a sloppy body when I have my clothes on).

 

 

Yeah, waah waah and all that...

[Tony T]

Well, my man, you're in your early 20's and young enough to learn all the secrets before you set out to become stud of the world.

 

Go out and get yourself a copy of the bestseller "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover. You can read a little about it here-----> http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/ but don't worry if you think it may not apply to you. I've read it and half the book is about guys like you, your post wreaks with Nice Guy Syndrome. I can smell them on the other side of the world. Your last paragraph, the one about having stretchmarks, is a dead giveaway.

 

It's a real cheap book and I don't get a commission.

 

Another great book to read is "Nice Guys Don't Get Laid," by Marcus Pierce Meleton, Jr. You can read a little bit about it here-----> http://hallselfesteem.com/relationships/111.shtml

 

Read the two books above and your life with ladies will turn around completely. Once that happens, go to ----> http://www.lovetactics.com/ and read a bit at that site, then order the book "Love Tactics" by Phillips and McKnight. That book will put you well over the top. You'll not only score with every female you see but even the cats and dogs in your neighborhood won't leave you alone.

 

You're a lucky man. I had to learn all this stuff the hard way.

[jessicakicksbut]

Yes, I am a virgin, and the fact that I dont want to lose it drunkenly, saddens me.

I'm tempted to do just this so I can avoid having to elude sex discussions with my friends. The fact that I didn't already seems to amaze a lot of people, quite amusing.

 

Don't listen to your friends! You are doing the right thing by waiting for "meaningful sex". Many other people wish they can turn back the clock, and lose their virginity differently. You have the odds in your favor in the fact that you haven't lost it yet, and that you haven't made the mistakes others have made by losing it in a druken stooper, just to say they aren't a virgin anymore.

[luvmyboys]

Teddi, I wish there were more guys like you. I know it's difficult being with the guys who say they're "doing it" which I know most of them are more than likely not as active as you might think unless they have a steady girl perhaps.

 

The fact that you don't want to lose it in a drunken stupor says a lot about your character; you take pride in your actions and it's nothing to feel ashamed about.

 

Just think of how many unwanted pregnancies and diseases are the result of one-nighters. Once the deed is done, you can't erase it that's for sure.

 

Believe me when I tell you that there are some "nice girls" out there who would appreciate your values on sex as they most likely feel the same way. You just have to know where to find them and it probably isn't the bar scene; but hey, I was one of those nice girls who used to hang out with my friends in a lot of clubs, so it's not really fair of me to say not to check out the clubs.

 

As far as the guy talk; it's nobodys business who you sleep with or when so I suggest you keep them guessing. Besides, kissing and telling is never an honorable thing to do.

 

Good luck and I'm sure you'll find someone who shares your ideals someday.

[Evil Teddi]

First and second of all, sorry for my late response and sorry for misplacing my post abit regarding forum topic.

 

 

Tony, those are some *great* links. I had a brief look at them and some of the rants by other "Nice guys" were like reading my own biography. I will most definately be having a closer look at those books.

 

 

jessicakicksbut, you're right, I agree, it's good to hear that other people look at it the same way I do.

 

 

luvmyboys, the first thing you say: "I wish there were more guys like you.".

This is the part I don't understand. I get this a lot, I think I've repeatedly heard this from most if not all of my closest female friends.

I point back to my original post; I hear that I'm this really great person and all, but oh wait, not great in that boyfriend kind of way!

Very frustrating... It's hard to change if people are telling you you are doing nothing wrong.

 

"The fact that you don't want to lose it in a drunken stupor says a lot about your character; you take pride in your actions and it's nothing to feel ashamed about."

mm, pride, I like that word.. thanks