Lila Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 Am I wrong to be jealous of my boyfriend's family? They seem give me subtle hints that they think they are more important to him than me. I know family comes first and all, but, I am the significant other, right? Is it normal to feel this way? Link to post Share on other sites
jessicakicksbut Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 I used to have a problem with my ex-fiance's family similar to yours. It all depends on the families dynamics, and views on family. You shouldn't become jealous, but you should try to understand the dynamics of his family better, as well as "tolerate" their hints if your boyfriend means a lot to you. As the relationship wears on and you become more serious with one another, it may create problems if he firmly believes that family will always come first due to his beliefs growing up. He may turn into one of these "moma-boy's" who are unable to "cut the string" once they become serious or married. These men become very dependent on their families, especially their mothers, and are unable to do basic things for themself such as laundry, cooking, cleaning, managing their own finances, and making their own decisions. These type of guys you have to watch out for, because the family they are born and raised in often times will become even more important than there own wife. How old are you both, and how serious is your relationship with your boyfriend? Elaborate more on the hints they are giving. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 You can feel however way you want. It's fine. I don't think it's really important when it comes to a boyfriend. Blood is usually thicker than water. But if you ever intend on marrying a man and he doesn't at least put you right up there alongside his family, preferably above them, then you are in real big trouble. When two people marry, they become a unit and the most important person in the world to each other...at least in the storybooks. I think that's the way they it ought to be. While you're just dating, don't waste your time on who he puts first or whatever. Just have a good time. If you can't do that, dump him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lila Posted May 20, 2003 Author Share Posted May 20, 2003 Well, I am 23 and he is 29 and we have been dating for over three years. I think maybe I am overreacting. He is propably much closer to his family than I am with mine. The specific family members that make me feel insecure are both single. The one is 31 and has not been on a date in over 5 years. After thinking about it, maybe they are just jealous of our relationship. Maybe they need significant others of their own. Or maybe they don't understand what a relationship is. I guess his family can act like they are more important to my boyfriend than I am. As long as my boyfriend gives me the attention I deserve, I should just ignore his stupid family...right? Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 Are you forecasting what problems could occur down the road if you married? for example, the 31 year old pulls the strings because they are needy to your husband, and he/she is family, while the wife sits home waiting on the husband to come home. I've got to say, I'm no saint, and that would probably make me jealous also, but in my heart I would hope it didn't. I also tend to foresee problems as if I lived in a crystal ball. Not good either, but no one could tells us we live with our heads in the sand, eh? They say most of what we worry about, never comes true though. I guess, this all leads up to: your fears. What are they? and what can you do about them? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lila Posted May 21, 2003 Author Share Posted May 21, 2003 My fears? I'll just ignore this for now. It shouldn't matter until I'm ready to get married anyways, which I am not. Link to post Share on other sites
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