I think I need some advice....

[lovesick]

Let me first start off by saying it took a lot for me to make this post. Mainly because I'm sometimes too proud in myself to ask for advice, but I realize in this situation I really just lack experience.

 

Okay...I'm a 16 and my only "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship was in the 5th grade. But it's not like girls don't show interest in me, its just they're mostly real shallow people. So here I'm in my Sophmore year in high school and theres this one girl...That I'm totally in love with, and I say that knowing you're probably thinking "you're too young kid to know love". But thats beside the fact, anyways our relationship is sort of in between an acquaintance and a light friendship.

 

We met at school early this year. At the beginning of the school year she sort of did some flirting, but it may have been just friendliness who knows. Nothing serious...then we start talking, and I mean in class about one another's day and stuff like that. Sometimes about deeper stuff like our futures. And at about this time I find myself strongly attracted to her. More attracted to her than any girl I've ever been attracted to. My greatest fear is that I've fallen in love with someone my mind created.

 

About two months past as I grow more attracted to her everyday. Eventually I decide to try to "make the move". And in something I would come to regret, I get her phone number from a mutual friend. I call her, but it turnt awkward really really quick. At this point, I'm thinking she thinks I'm a loser and a stalker, but to my suprise she still is super friendly. And that makes me love her so much more. I told her on the phone that I think that I 'love' her.

 

She sounded suprised and she told me that she has a boyfriend. It hurt a little, but being so certain we're meant for each other, I'm still confident. Especially since we talked things out, but what I was trying to tell her, but the main thing was she has a boyfriend. Things go pretty slow from here, but we still talk everyday and it's not awkward. And we are about at the current state of my crisis, so to speak.

 

I'm stuck on what is the next step. I want her to know I still have very strong feelings for her, and how much she drives me crazy. I know we have this chemistry between each other that I've never had with any peer that I've ever known. I feel I know her, but she doesn't know me. I don't mean to sound cocky, but I'm still confident that she just needs to get to know me.

 

What should I do? Try to win her heart with flowers? Heck, I dont know...Please someone talk me into telling her how much I'm freaking crazy in love with her.

[Tony T]

You shouldn't do anything. Right now you're an irrational lovesick pup and she knows that. She has VERY clearly told you she has a boyfriend. If you send flowers or otherwise profess your love for her again, she will see you as somewhat crazy and as being without respect for the relationships of others. She will surely reject you and hurt you.

 

Go about your business and cease contact with her. No more of this foolishiness. Find a lady who doesn't have a boyfriend. Later on, if something happens between this girl and her boyfriend...if the two of you were meant to be...you'll find out and you can call her.

 

Right now, if you do anything at all you'll make a total fool of yourself and she will have a very low regard for you. If she was even slightly interested in getting something going with you right now, she wouldn't have told you she had a boyfriend.

 

Go take a cold shower and get back into reality. Get some control over your emotions.

[cindy0039]

My experience with teenage boys (I've raised 3) is that these boyfriend/girlfriend situations in high school typically don't last very long. If you have a good friendship type of relationship with this girl and chat regularly, I would just keep it at that level and wait it out. Don't push her. If she likes you she will eventually break up with the other guy and want more with you. But don't sit home waiting for her phone calls, etc. Lead your life as if you DON'T have a girlfriend (which you don't) until and unless things change in the future. In other words, don't put your life on hold for this girl. Just be glad that right now she's happy being friends with you. Everybody can use all the friends they can get, right?

[lovesick]

Originally posted by cindy0039

My experience with teenage boys (I've raised 3) is that these boyfriend/girlfriend situations in high school typically don't last very long. If you have a good friendship type of relationship with this girl and chat regularly, I would just keep it at that level and wait it out. Don't push her. If she likes you she will eventually break up with the other guy and want more with you. But don't sit home waiting for her phone calls, etc. Lead your life as if you DON'T have a girlfriend (which you don't) until and unless things change in the future. In other words, don't put your life on hold for this girl. Just be glad that right now she's happy being friends with you. Everybody can use all the friends they can get, right?

 

Thanks for your guys' responses. I've actually gotten to the point, I don't know if I want her as a girlfriend. She means just so much to me. You're right Cindy, these High School relationships are usually pointless and almost always end in a sour note. That is why I've refrained from them for the most part. The way I see it, there's no point in dating unless your looking for your soulmate, but that's just my opinion.