ladykatie Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 My significant other and I are going through a "rough patch." We've decided to work on our relationship instead of splitting up, but there is still a weirdness between us. Although he hasn't said it, I almost feel like he feels like he loves me but isn't in love with me... How do I get our relationship back on track? How do I get him to fall in love with me again? Link to post Share on other sites
FindingMyselfAgain Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 Sex and cookies always works for me. Sorry. Shouldn't be flippant. Just trying to lighten up a little. Serious answer: Love is not a command-action. Love cannot be controlled. It cannot be manipulated. Love is or it isn't. Love comes and stays or comes and goes. What can you do? Nothing but accept whichever way it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
cant let go Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 what kinds of things did you do together when you first met? try re-enacting some dates that you had early in your relationship. talk about things that you used to do and share with each other your feelings. ask him what he would like to do and tell him what you would like to do. honesty is important. you can't just plug yourselves into some formula and expect it to equal love. Link to post Share on other sites
niceirishfella Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Hi, Well, do you think you can make him fall in love with you again? Cos, in my experience it does not work that way unfortunately. I remember many years ago the lost love of my life coming to me and saying that she felt she was falling out of love with me. We talked at length about it, and tried to spend more time together, but alas - she broke up with me a couple of month later. And I've never gotten over it. I was out of my control. I hope it will not be the same for you but its just the way things go and you have to be prepared for it. Sorry. every best wish to you. NIF. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 not much you can do.. if the love is gone.. you cannot force someone to love you or to be 'in love' with you. It is very hard to re-sparks..but I guess it could be done... it won't be the 'passion' like the very first time but it could get much better than the 'best friend' phase. Just give it some time... make sure you both talk about is bothering you, right away. solve the problems as soon as they appear. Link to post Share on other sites
cant let go Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 there are actually books out there for this. consult a professional. we are all here because we don't know what we are doing. but i don't believe that love cannot be saved. the fact that you are trying to save your relationship now is a good sign that it's not too late and you can turn it around. stay positive. negativity will inevitably cause your relationship's demise. good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
MattyTee Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I think when things are tough in a relationship it's fairly easy to say "I love you but I'm not in love with you". In any loving partnership there are changes and growth (just like in our individual lives) and you have to adapt to those. Some people get addicted to the highs of the 'honeymoon period' and think that is all love is. Counselling is a great idea (possibly individually as well as couple stuff) because it can open us up to seeing what we might be unhappy about. Communication really is the key. If you both have a commitment to making it work, then it can. I read a brilliant analysis of love cycles once (I think Men Are From Mars) which talks about love being like seasons. Perhaps a lot of people give up in the Winter, but there will be other Springs and Summers to come if you hunker down and get through the cold periods. Link to post Share on other sites
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