Trying again but feeling weird

[cormom]

Hello.

I am currently somewhat back with my BF. We were together for 3 1/2 years. For 2 years, things were great. After that, his drinking became a problem and my working became a problem. We very rarely had sex. I withheld a lot of intimacy from him because I was angry at his drinking (I have discovered this in counseling).

In May, we bought a house (90% mine/10% his). Also, in May, I was contacted by another ex-boyfriend to do an audit for his uncle. I discussed the job with my boyfriend, he agreed I should do it and so I took the job. It was a short-term job and required some contact with my ex. My BF freaked out, moved out (moved into our studio), and started to tell his friends and co-workers that I was sleeping with my ex. I NEVER slept with my ex. His rumors caused some damage to my professional reputation.

My BF wanted to move back home in August and my only requirement was that he stop drinking. He said he didn't want to do that. So, he found a place at the end of August and when he moved, proceeded to tell me to never contact him again. I was devastated.

Well, a few things happened during that time that required contact (our house, finding our lost dog after he was missing for over year). Since then (middle of October), we have been seeing each other. He started seeing another woman a week after he found his own apartment and for a few weeks, he was seeing us both.

Last Sunday, he sent me an e-mail and a voice mail that said "He was mine, 100%". He stopped seeing the other lady almost two weeks ago and has started to tell his friends that we are seeing each other again. They are pissed at him because they think I cheated on him and they don't want him to get hurt again.

Since then, we have been spending time together, having great sex and communicating so well. But, he still hasn't given me his new phone number. So, the only way that I can contact him is when he calls me or via e-mail.

I love him very much and want to spend my life with him.

Am I being played? Or, is this a control thing that he has to get over? Also, the drinking hasn't slowed down.

Please let me know what you think.

 

Thanks.

[birdie]

erm... this guy is living off your money (he contributed only 10% to the house), sleeps with other women, goes behind your back badmouthing you, he drinks so much that you are angry with him.... what else does he have to do to you to realise what he is? you don't even have his number!

 

I think maybe you should go back to counselling and find out why you allow yourself to be treated like a doormat.

[cormom]

Thanks for your honesty. I really appreciate it.

We spoke last night and he is telling me he needs time to make sure HE is making the right decision about me. Although he admitted to me that he believes I didn't sleep with my ex, he still needs time to process and time to heal.

I honestly think that he is weighing his options.

Thanks again for your honesty.