overanalytical Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 my fiance and i have been together 3 years...getting married in january 2008...about 4 months ago my fiance lost his job nad has been having a hard time finding one. the market sucks right now for what he needs. well at the same time he lost his job, a friend of his did too and was going to be out on teh street so we told him to coem stay with us, pay what he could and look for a job and get back on his feet. so he did...he's lived with us for that amount of time so far and still does, with no job...STILL NO JOB. my fiance has found one, not happy with it at all, but he is out of hte house and working hard. the new roommate doesn't clean, is at home all day, sleeps until 2pm, doesn't do his dishes, his room is a wreck. he is also gettnig annoying with his comments and things he does...i guess because he's home all day alone and when we come home he is so happy to have interaction it's overwhelming. i don't know if my fiance has even noticed his lack of cleanliness and helping with dishes, etc. but i have and it's riding my nerves so much. i continue to do it day after day when i get off work (prob fiance never sees it) but idon't wnat to say anything but i'm becoming miserable...my fiance and i are fighting daily...is it the roommate nad my fiance's new job that he hates causing stress and making us bicker? we have been having arguments about money, my fiance wnats ot do the same things as this SINGLE guy doesn and hang out with him, go out, drink during the week, it's like this guy is taking over my fiance. they hang out all the time (hence, the roommie with no job)and i sometimes feel like he's feeding off of him. like he wnats to fight in front of him with me. i'm sick of it. if something doesn't change i'm not going to marry him and i am going to kick the roommie out. i'm about to break. is all this coming between me nad my fiance? are we fighting because of the stress?? i'm starting to hate even going home.... any comments/suggestions would be appreciated. i kinda bounceda round but my mind is racing right now. oh and the roommate has to be out by the end of the year... Link to post Share on other sites
Author overanalytical Posted November 12, 2007 Author Share Posted November 12, 2007 oh and my fiance is 29, i'm 28...roommie just turned 26 i'm ready to start talking about starting a family...and my fiance was too...until he turned back 26 again.... Link to post Share on other sites
Letranger Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I think you might want to move on, hon. Consider yourself lucky you found this out before you got married. Its simple: find someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author overanalytical Posted November 12, 2007 Author Share Posted November 12, 2007 i don't wnat to move on is the thing. this is the love of my life...and he's being influenced by a 26 year old...who LIVES with us, so it's not just a weekend thing but a daily thing. they spend more time together than i do wtih my fiance by myself. i want him, i want him back to how he was, is he not going to change back once we get rid of the roommate?? everything is planned, i've been divorced before, i dont' want this to end. i want to make it work. i need help. i wish he would just go back to how he was. i wnat him to act like a 29 year old and not jobless, single, horny male like the roommate. i want him to not fight with me in front of the troommate to make himself look better or because he is stressed about money. or the roommie borrowing money and nto paying us back or ugh... i'm not writing this to have someone tell me to leave him, i want him to make this back to 'normal' Link to post Share on other sites
glamgurl36 Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 you have to tell him that you guys are getting married and want your time to be an engaged couple with privacy. he obviously didn't get the memo. He is also abusing the fact that you guys are letting him stay there. He should be hitting the streets to look for a job. good luck with that, that would drive me insane Link to post Share on other sites
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 i want him, i want him back to how he was, is he not going to change back once we get rid of the roommate?? Oh, the mantra of delusion. People are not meant to be static, especially young people. They will change. You can either accept it or live in hope they they will devolve back to how they were before. Link to post Share on other sites
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