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You know, men say women want the "confident" guy but...


Racquel Colette

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Racquel Colette

I'm kind of a sucker for a lovesick fool who falls all over himself when he's around me. This last guy, he was so nervous after first meeting me, he called his friend who set us up and said "This woman is really special, she made my knees buckle just meeting her. How do you proceed with someone like that?" The kind of guy who calls the next day after the first date because he was so taken with you. The kind of guy who opens your door, even after you've been dating for 10 months. The kind of guy who trims your bushes while you are away on vacation because it was blocking your doorway.

This is NOT a doormat....it's the little things that count! Forget the "confident I don't call" fascade. Women want the "lovesick fool" from that country song a while back. "I'm a sucker for the lovesick fool, the kind who carries all your books in school...." We want a guy who feels, not "portrays." Just be yourself!

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oh god you are so right - the lovesick fool is such a turn-on (provided you like him already and are attracted to him). that kind of guy just makes *my* knees buckle when he does all those wonderful lovey things for you!

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You know, there is such a thing as being confident and being nice.

 

Forget the "confident I don't call" fascade.

 

That's not confidence. That's an old dating trick and it actually works against the man.

 

Striking while the iron hot is the best way to make sure she doesn't forget about you and grab some other dude while you were playing your phone game ;)

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Yeah, ok. Give that 6 months and report back.

 

LOL...it does get a little old, I will admit. But then again, there's a difference between someone who's truly smitten, and truly wants to do nice things for you, and the more typical co-dependent "I'll die without you" freak show that feels they must always provide or you will kick them to the curb - and completely resents what they are doing.

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I really hate lovesick puppies.

 

Better to be confident, not an arsehole who couldn't care less if you're around or not. Being confident about who you are, doesn't mean you have to devalue the other person. You can pursue and show appreciation when you're confident.

 

It's the insecure and low self-esteem individuals who hide their feelings, for fear of being hurt first. It's also the insecure and low self-esteem individuals who also need validation and their ego stroked consistently.

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I really hate lovesick puppies.

 

Better to be confident, not an arsehole who couldn't care less if you're around or not. Being confident about who you are, doesn't mean you have to devalue the other person. You can pursue and show appreciation when you're confident.

 

I'm not sure it is healthy to pattern your perfect mate after me! :D

 

It could lead to unrealistic expectations! :laugh:

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I'm not sure it is healthy to pattern your perfect mate after me! :D

 

It could lead to unrealistic expectations! :laugh:

I should roll my eyes over this but I can't. Sometimes cockiness can be quite charming, if it's combined with confidence. :lmao:

 

If you open doors and have old world courtesies, some young thing will snap you up and feel lucky to have done so. ;)

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My exH was a lovesick fool. Obviously it didn't work out for him since we are no longer married.

 

I will admit that I miss the nightly foot rubs and back massages.

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bigheartkindsoul

Yeah I like the lovesick guy (not fool!!) much more so than the over confident twit.

 

I love romance, both ways.

 

Mmmm dreams on.

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I should roll my eyes over this but I can't. Sometimes cockiness can be quite charming, if it's combined with confidence. :lmao:

 

If you open doors and have old world courtesies, some young thing will snap you up and feel lucky to have done so. ;)

 

Confidence and a sense of humor! :D Thats me!

 

I like how you draw a line between arrogance, and confidence. There are many who can't tell one from the other.

 

Those old world courtesies are wrapped up in the idea of Integrety and Honor! It would be a dishonor to both parties to not to respect women. If you catch my meaning.

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Racquel Colette

It's the insecure and low self-esteem individuals who hide their feelings, for fear of being hurt first. It's also the insecure and low self-esteem individuals who also need validation and their ego stroked consistently.

I am not talking about a guy who is insecure and low self-esteem. You can be smitten and open a door and do little things for the one you love without being insecure and having low self-esteem. Also, how does someone needing validation and ego stroked consistenly fit into this?

I was just saying I like a guy who lets you know he likes you. Guess I'm old-school, just like the song!

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I see what you are saying the "love sick fool" haha i luv it. As u describe this type of guy i have yet to meet one..Do they exist? haha No really do they??

 

I agree i am smitten for the little things a guy does, have yet to find one that is going somewhere in life that does those things! Someday...making you feel as if your "Number 1" instead of one of many haha

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melodymatters
I am not talking about a guy who is insecure and low self-esteem. You can be smitten and open a door and do little things for the one you love without being insecure and having low self-esteem. Also, how does someone needing validation and ego stroked consistenly fit into this?

I was just saying I like a guy who lets you know he likes you. Guess I'm old-school, just like the song!

 

 

I totally agree ! I have no time or patience for game playing or guys acting " cool". Every decent adult relationship I've had was probably BECAUSE they let me know they thought i was something pretty special right off the bat !

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I'm happy to hear all of this, ladies. I was starting to wonder.

 

No, actually my ex recently told me how much she appreciated all of those little foot massages and just wanting to be with her on the weekends or whenever. I would buy her jewelry unexpectedly when I saw something I liked. It would be silver with some sort of unusual semi-precious stones, her favorite.

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I'm happy to hear all of this, ladies. I was starting to wonder.

 

No, actually my ex recently told me how much she appreciated all of those little foot massages and just wanting to be with her on the weekends or whenever. I would buy her jewelry unexpectedly when I saw something I liked. It would be silver with some sort of unusual semi-precious stones, her favorite.

 

That didnt prevent her from becoming an ex though!

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That didnt prevent her from becoming an ex though!

 

No, because ultimately we must all work to make ourselves happy, which is something she did not put enough effort into.

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Racquel Colette
That didnt prevent her from becoming an ex though!

 

Yes but we can take the good and bad as learning experiences, right? Timberlane is good at giving affection to his partner and helping her to feel wanted and important to him.

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I'm kind of a sucker for a lovesick fool who falls all over himself when he's around me. This last guy, he was so nervous after first meeting me, he called his friend who set us up and said "This woman is really special, she made my knees buckle just meeting her. How do you proceed with someone like that?" The kind of guy who calls the next day after the first date because he was so taken with you. The kind of guy who opens your door, even after you've been dating for 10 months. The kind of guy who trims your bushes while you are away on vacation because it was blocking your doorway.

This is NOT a doormat....it's the little things that count! Forget the "confident I don't call" fascade. Women want the "lovesick fool" from that country song a while back. "I'm a sucker for the lovesick fool, the kind who carries all your books in school...." We want a guy who feels, not "portrays." Just be yourself!

 

Oh gosh-so true! The only time that turns a woman off is not from the behavior itself, but when the match is bad to begin with. Heck-all you guys that think you were left BECAUSe of this--maybe that is actuallly why she stayed with you, and wouldn't have otherwise! Sometimes incompability just catches up, and it has nothing to do with being treated nice as the cause-OKAY? Get it everyone?

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Yes but we can take the good and bad as learning experiences, right? Timberlane is good at giving affection to his partner and helping her to feel wanted and important to him.

 

And she remembered it when her boyfriend turned out to be the exact opposite of what I was. He did none of that nice stuff.

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Do they exist? haha No really do they??

 

They do, but not for so long. Once they get left enough times for a*sholes they become one themselves. It happened to me just this year when I finally had enough. :cool:

 

Just wanted to add something, I read on the net a great phrase that really changed my outlook on women because I think it can't be said any better & is so true! Could've even been on this website.

 

Women can tell you what they want in a man but not what they need in one. I'm pretty sure that's how it goes :D

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Women can tell you what they want in a man but not what they need in one. I'm pretty sure that's how it goes :D

 

LOL how true it seems to be. You hear about all the great qualities women want in a man... Then they think some guy might be 'too nice' and fall for the one who leaves 'em stranded by the side of the road in Witchitaw..

 

Some kind of uncontrollable attraction to buttheads.. seen it too many times.

 

Heck, us guys fall for the wrong ones all the time too.

 

Another good quote, source unknown " Women are more likely to say one thing and do something completely different, following thier 'intuition' or 'feelings' "

 

Men ... well we know what we fall for...

 

Damsel in distress ,happens to be hot and great in the sack.. who turns out to be the drama queen from hell.

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I really don't think it's women's fault. I don't believe they're trying to lie to you. But I do think they either believe or truly want to believe that they want a lovesick puppy. That would make them "nicer" and that person they want to be. I don't think they understand how that leads to feelings of boredom or restlessness in them, however.

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melodymatters

Well it seems like everyone is going overboard on the generalizations. My last serious Bf was a biker, owned a Harley campground, and was regarded by most people as an "a**hole".

 

No weak " puppy" here. BUT, he also let me know he was crazy about me, when could he see me again, "whatever you want baby" etc.

 

So, guys can let you know they are way into you without being wimps.

 

Be a cool confident guy in GENERAL, but be SWEET to ME !!!

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