Hoss Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 I'm new to this site, but I read some of the advice that was handed out and figured what the hay. Plus that outside help would be very welcome. I am having a heck of a time. Here's my situation. My real close friend, and cousin, died 18 months ago. We were real close and the death wasn't easy, but I came to grips with it. This is not the hard part. My cousin(T) had a girlfriend(G) at the time of his death. We all went to high school together and are very good friends. The thing is I have fallen for G, hard. But I want to know is okay to ask her. Or will I be the scum of the earth with no morals and deceny because I'm scaming on my buddies girl. This is really my only hang up because I don't want to be a jerk. I really just need some outside advice, and if I didn't give enough details let me know. Thanks to all who take the time to read this. Hoss Link to post Share on other sites
Arcane Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 If it was 18 months ago, that's probably a sufficient amount of time to allow for grieving. If you like her and she likes you, go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 You don't have to go right out and ask her to marry you for Pete's sake. Call her and invite her to hang out with you. Do things together as friends and let feelings grow over time. I see absolutely no reason that after 18 months you can't get something going with her...if she's receptive. And how could she possibly turn you down if you just want to hang out together. That's the back door approach that's always best to use in sensitive kinds of situations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hoss Posted May 22, 2003 Author Share Posted May 22, 2003 I really appreciate the advice, so I'm thanking all who wrote. And currently we do hang out and I spend as much time with her as I can. Doing my best to remain in the friend catagory until it feels right. I'm not sure how she feels, but I'm definitly doing the back door approach. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a jerk for having an alterior motive. Slow and steady wins the race, those are words I live by in almost every aspect of my life. Thanks again to those who read and wrote. Hoss Link to post Share on other sites
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