I think I'm getting mixed signals, but I'm not sure. What does this mean?

[desertrose571]

There's a guy I've known for about three months and I'd say we're pretty good friends, but not so close that anything romantic could be ruled out. I mean we always talk when we see each other around and we hang out a lot in groups, but we don't share our deepest secrets or have long phone conversations or anything like that. We flirt a lot and have since we met, at least I think its flirting, but maybe I'm just misinterpreting his friendliness.

 

When we talk, we go from having serious conversations to teasing each other, I catch him staring at me from across the room sometimes, sometimes when we talk he stares straight into my eyes for longer than usual and pulls me in like we're the only two people in the room, we touch casually (but I've noticed he touches people on the shoulder when he talks to people a lot - even other guys) but sometimes he holds it a little longer than usual - but not always. He usually sits near me or stands facing me or somehow gravitates to me when we're out in groups, sometimes when we're sitting next to each other, he or I will nonchalantly slide over so we're touching and just sit that way for awhile. He's told me that he thinks I'm very pretty (but so have two of my other guy friends that we usually hang out with - but they're both in serious relationships, so I don't know how seriously I can take that). He also compliments me all the time, saying how my hair always looks perfect, my clothes are nice, and how I have great taste in music and movies, and many other random compliments. All of these seem like positive signs, but then sometimes I get confused by his actions.

 

He's not consistent with all of these behaviors. Sometimes its like he's really, really on and he flirts like that a lot and acts like he really, really likes me, then sometimes he doesn't do any of those things and just treats me like anyone else, especially when we're in larger groups of people. He doesn't call just to talk, doesn't wait for me to walk out with me, and doesn't call to hang out with just me. What is even more confusing is how he complains about being single all the time around me. One time when five of us were out at a restaurant, he started talking about how cute the waitress was, but how he was way to chicken to ever ask her out or give her his number. Then he kept mentioning her the rest of the night. That irritated me, so I jokingly left him a voicemail saying how she really wasn't that pretty and teasing him about it, and I swear he paid more attention to me the next day . Also, he's always (jokingly) saying things about how he wants a new cologne that will make girls jump on him when he's just walking down the street and he often complains about how hard it is to meet girls. Why would he say all that stuff around me if he were really interested in me? I hate it because I like him so much and I'm trying so hard to let him know. Why can't he see it when I'm right in front of him, especially since we have so much in common and he thinks I'm attractive?

 

I've been trying so hard to let him know how I feel that I don't know if I should keep going or back off. I try to touch him whenever I can, mostly because I want to and I would jump him if I could. I drove 30 minutes to meet him just to hang out in a bookstore with him for an hour, and I always smile at him and talk to him and hang around him when I can. In fact, it's usually him leaving me first if we're talking or hanging out rather than me leaving him. I feel like I would stay up all night just to talk to him when I know he wouldn't do the same for me and that scares me. He talks about how he wants to date and he wants a girlfriend so much, so why won't he just ask me out or tell me if he's interested rather than leading me on and killing me. Even some of our friends say things like, "why don't you two just get together already" because of the way we act around each other, and I've had a friend tell me she thinks he likes me. So if he wants to date so badly, why am I not good enough? I feel like he leads me on, then pulls away and tortures me by being so nice, friendly, flirty, and cute but acting like I couldn't count as one of those girls who wants to jump him. I mean, he already invites me to group things, so it shouldn't be a big deal for him to just invite me to do something with only him. He shouldn't be shy around me - he's an outgoing guy and we talk very frequently anyway. Am I just being ignorant and clinging to a hope that he likes me when he doesn't and never will? I feel like I've been going out of my way to see him and he isn't picking up on it. I want him to call me sometime just to talk or to ask me out, but I just don't think he will and it kills me knowing how badly I want him and how much he wants someone and wondering why that someone can't be me. Maybe that stupid book is right and he's just not that into me.