torranceshipman Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 If you want to really get at him - I say do nothing, as if you act indifferent to him, it is a sign you really couldnt care less what he does - and that'll dent his ego more than anything, even if he doesnt show it. If it was a manipulation/control thing, as you say, he is probably really undermined and pissed off at the idea you chose to walk away from the A and that you don't seem to be so bothered about him, even when you see him a lot via being neighbours...even when he pushes for an extra reaction by hanging out with you H....I am sure it is hurting his pride already - and remember, he cant read your mind and know how much you are getting mad over this which is a good thing - and he might well be as wound up as you are. In time your emotions will die down then you';ll be glad you said/did nothing, as you have soooo much at risk if the A does come to light. You both did something stupid by having an A with a neighbour!-there is likely to always be fallout from situations like this, but right now this is the most minor fallout you could hope for, so I think you should be grateful for that, at least! This is just urt ego and pride so get over that and there really is no problems left to deal with. Just also make sure this isnt your way of avoiding the moving on process - by allowing yourself tothink about him a lot, albeit in a negative way - you are still connecting yourself to him - you should find ways to reconnect with you H instead. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 17, 2007 Author Share Posted November 17, 2007 If you want to really get at him - I say do nothing, as if you act indifferent to him, it is a sign you really couldnt care less what he does - and that'll dent his ego more than anything, even if he doesnt show it. If it was a manipulation/control thing, as you say, he is probably really undermined and pissed off at the idea you chose to walk away from the A and that you don't seem to be so bothered about him, even when you see him a lot via being neighbours...even when he pushes for an extra reaction by hanging out with you H....I am sure it is hurting his pride already - and remember, he cant read your mind and know how much you are getting mad over this which is a good thing - and he might well be as wound up as you are. In time your emotions will die down then you';ll be glad you said/did nothing, as you have soooo much at risk if the A does come to light. You both did something stupid by having an A with a neighbour!-there is likely to always be fallout from situations like this, but right now this is the most minor fallout you could hope for, so I think you should be grateful for that, at least! This is just urt ego and pride so get over that and there really is no problems left to deal with. Just also make sure this isnt your way of avoiding the moving on process - by allowing yourself tothink about him a lot, albeit in a negative way - you are still connecting yourself to him - you should find ways to reconnect with you H instead. You are so right. What keeps me going besides my kids and H is the fact that I am acting indifferent to a huge control freak and egomaniac. NC is great becuse you get control over your emotions. It is not easy, but knowing that for once in two years he gets nothing from me is what keeps me going. He wanted me phyically, emotionally and mentality his exact words and he got nothing. I go inside and scream and cry,but to him I look calm, cool and indifferent. Time away has definately given me more perspective. It takes courage to be happy and I know he will never be happy with me or without me. I want happiness in my life so I choose it. He would of never made me happy that is one thing I see now. Everyday is something else I see that I would of not put up with if I was with him. His W is obviously a more tolerable person than me. She can have him because there is no doubt in my mind he will cheat on her again. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 You are so right. What keeps me going besides my kids and H is the fact that I am acting indifferent to a huge control freak and egomaniac. NC is great becuse you get control over your emotions. It is not easy, but knowing that for once in two years he gets nothing from me is what keeps me going. He wanted me phyically, emotionally and mentality his exact words and he got nothing. I go inside and scream and cry,but to him I look calm, cool and indifferent. Time away has definately given me more perspective. It takes courage to be happy and I know he will never be happy with me or without me. I want happiness in my life so I choose it. He would of never made me happy that is one thing I see now. Everyday is something else I see that I would of not put up with if I was with him. His W is obviously a more tolerable person than me. She can have him because there is no doubt in my mind he will cheat on her again. "but to him I look calm, cool and indifferent." And this is the way it should be for you to move on! Once your heart catches up with your head, you won't need to run in and scream, shout and cry. You'll walk into your home and what you will care about 100 % is your H and children. It can be done FF, I know I'm there! Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 17, 2007 Author Share Posted November 17, 2007 Wow, Ap my friend I am so proud of you. I can't wait till I get to where you are. Things he does still bother me, but i am taking one day at a time and taking alot of deep breaths. I guess if you can do it so I can I. What a long ways you have come. I guess we are alot stronger than we thought. I know my xmm did not know how strong I was. It feels really good to show him that all women are not doormats. He really does not respect women at all and he has always gotten what he wanted from them. I know this whole thing bothers his fragile ego and that makes me smile, but boy is he a good actor. Thanks ap I am right behind you. Link to post Share on other sites
WitchyLady Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 If I were this man's wife? I'd want to know. If I were your husband, I'd want to know. Infidelity is a two way street, and while I am not blasting you for being human, the fact is you're both to blame. Now, there are two ways to handle this. You can either keep silent and hope your husband doesn't find out, not likely with this guy, because he apparently is a manipulative type and it looks like he has no sense when it comes to how he deals with your husband and his own wife. Or you can come clean with your own husband, do his wife a favor, and take yourself out from under this guy's thumb once and for all. Yeah, you'd probably hurt her, and she might even leave him. You'd be risking the end of your marriage as well, but you're doing that anyway, and everyone in this situation is suffering for it but your ex-lover, who will undoubtedly, as you say, just move on to his next conquest. Fact is he will likely torpedo your marriage on the way. Being honest might hurt your husband and his wife, but in this situation getting away from this man, from his manipulations, and the risk he poses is more important than staying silent, and anyway, the truth will likely come out, and when it does, it's far better that it came from you, than from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 18, 2007 Author Share Posted November 18, 2007 If I were this man's wife? I'd want to know. If I were your husband, I'd want to know. Infidelity is a two way street, and while I am not blasting you for being human, the fact is you're both to blame. Now, there are two ways to handle this. You can either keep silent and hope your husband doesn't find out, not likely with this guy, because he apparently is a manipulative type and it looks like he has no sense when it comes to how he deals with your husband and his own wife. Or you can come clean with your own husband, do his wife a favor, and take yourself out from under this guy's thumb once and for all. Yeah, you'd probably hurt her, and she might even leave him. You'd be risking the end of your marriage as well, but you're doing that anyway, and everyone in this situation is suffering for it but your ex-lover, who will undoubtedly, as you say, just move on to his next conquest. Fact is he will likely torpedo your marriage on the way. Being honest might hurt your husband and his wife, but in this situation getting away from this man, from his manipulations, and the risk he poses is more important than staying silent, and anyway, the truth will likely come out, and when it does, it's far better that it came from you, than from him. What exactly do you mean when you say he will torpedo my marriage. He on't let that happen because he cannot run the risk of ruining what he has got which is alot of money coming his way if he stays with her? What type of risk does he pose if he is trying to maintain status quo. My son just went over his house to play and he wants my kids to play with his so he is trying to be civil. IMO he does not want to arouse any suspicions so he is playing the nice guy to everyone except me. Everyone keeps saying the truth will come out eventually, but if he and I are not talking then there is no way that is going to happen? I do however feels that he uses my kids to get to me, but I could me wrong. He is such a manipulator I do not put anything past him. What do you think? I pretend like he is dead I do not even acknowledge he is there. i just saw him and he made himself known but I did not even flinch. I appear on the outside calm and cool, but like I said before then I come in and take a few breaths. He is a constant reminder of a lot of bad decisions on my part. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 Wow, Ap my friend I am so proud of you. I can't wait till I get to where you are. Things he does still bother me, but i am taking one day at a time and taking alot of deep breaths. I guess if you can do it so I can I. What a long ways you have come. I guess we are alot stronger than we thought. I know my xmm did not know how strong I was. It feels really good to show him that all women are not doormats. He really does not respect women at all and he has always gotten what he wanted from them. I know this whole thing bothers his fragile ego and that makes me smile, but boy is he a good actor. Thanks ap I am right behind you. You CAN do it FF! :bunny: I'm here for you! Hug's! AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
WitchyLady Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 What exactly do you mean when you say he will torpedo my marriage. He on't let that happen because he cannot run the risk of ruining what he has got which is alot of money coming his way if he stays with her? What type of risk does he pose if he is trying to maintain status quo. My son just went over his house to play and he wants my kids to play with his so he is trying to be civil. IMO he does not want to arouse any suspicions so he is playing the nice guy to everyone except me. Everyone keeps saying the truth will come out eventually, but if he and I are not talking then there is no way that is going to happen? I do however feels that he uses my kids to get to me, but I could me wrong. He is such a manipulator I do not put anything past him. What do you think? I pretend like he is dead I do not even acknowledge he is there. i just saw him and he made himself known but I did not even flinch. I appear on the outside calm and cool, but like I said before then I come in and take a few breaths. He is a constant reminder of a lot of bad decisions on my part. You said he was still friendly with your husband right? Things have a way of coming out, in situations like these. If your husband and he are socializing at all, it's pretty dangerous and likely he will slip. Think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 18, 2007 Author Share Posted November 18, 2007 You said he was still friendly with your husband right? Things have a way of coming out, in situations like these. If your husband and he are socializing at all, it's pretty dangerous and likely he will slip. Think about it. I know for a fact he would not slip because he does not want his a*** kicked. They socialize,but mostly talk about small time stuff, weather, kids, etc. I seriously don't know how he can look at my H, but that is a whole other story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 18, 2007 Author Share Posted November 18, 2007 My h went over to xmm to pick up kids and xmm asked what we had planned for holidays and what we had been up to. I hate the fact that he knows anything about my lifeat this point. I know everybody says I should tell my H, and I am willing to pay for my mistake,but I don't think my kids should and that is the only reason I am not telling my H and he will never tell his W. We can't move now because of the way the market is now and so I guess this is how it is going to be for awile. I will forever be angry and upset and xmm will continue being nice to my family and compartmentalize the whole thing like it never happened. Everytime I look at him and his W I get so angry and I know it does not matter and I know to put all that energy into my family which I am doing, but it is still so hard to see. I have to live my life and go outside so not seeing it is almost impossible. The hard thing for me to get past is he ha no problem watching me with my H after telling me he wants to move away with me and he can't live without me. What a load of bull that was. Sorry for the rant I am getting more angry the more I write. I hate how he uses my kids to get to me. What am I supposed to do not let my kids play. Why should I punish them? He is so good at weasling in!!!1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 My h went over to xmm to pick up kids and xmm asked what we had planned for holidays and what we had been up to. I hate the fact that he knows anything about my lifeat this point. I know everybody says I should tell my H, and I am willing to pay for my mistake,but I don't think my kids should and that is the only reason I am not telling my H and he will never tell his W. We can't move now because of the way the market is now and so I guess this is how it is going to be for awile. I will forever be angry and upset and xmm will continue being nice to my family and compartmentalize the whole thing like it never happened. Everytime I look at him and his W I get so angry and I know it does not matter and I know to put all that energy into my family which I am doing, but it is still so hard to see. I have to live my life and go outside so not seeing it is almost impossible. The hard thing for me to get past is he ha no problem watching me with my H after telling me he wants to move away with me and he can't live without me. What a load of bull that was. Sorry for the rant I am getting more angry the more I write. I hate how he uses my kids to get to me. What am I supposed to do not let my kids play. Why should I punish them? He is so good at weasling in!!!1 I didn't read the whole thread but I have said it before and will say it again.. Telling the W is sooooo CRASS!!!!! If he was still feeding you with all the lies you'd be all over him still... but you found out that he lied to you (oh what a surprise!!!! ) now you want to hurt her? I have absolutely no respect for people who 'kiss and tell' sorry but I don't whether it's the MM, the OW, the OM... whoever... it's just sooo wrong. Just swallow your pain and your pride and move on.. your jealousy is ruining your life.. you don't want him to replace you... and you know he will... that enrages you... more than anything. You knew what you were getting into when you started with him... he lied to his W.. you lied to your H... so it's pretty much the same scenario on both sides... now he's moving on... and you can't ... and it sucks.. and you want to make him pay for your own mistake... tsk tsk tsk... shame on you!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 I didn't read the whole thread but I have said it before and will say it again.. Telling the W is sooooo CRASS!!!!! If he was still feeding you with all the lies you'd be all over him still... but you found out that he lied to you (oh what a surprise!!!! ) now you want to hurt her? I have absolutely no respect for people who 'kiss and tell' sorry but I don't whether it's the MM, the OW, the OM... whoever... it's just sooo wrong. Just swallow your pain and your pride and move on.. your jealousy is ruining your life.. you don't want him to replace you... and you know he will... that enrages you... more than anything. You knew what you were getting into when you started with him... he lied to his W.. you lied to your H... so it's pretty much the same scenario on both sides... now he's moving on... and you can't ... and it sucks.. and you want to make him pay for your own mistake... tsk tsk tsk... shame on you!!!! Just swallow your pain and your pride and move on.. your jealousy is ruining your life.. you don't want him to replace you... and you know he will... that enrages you... more than anything. Exactly Lizzie, well said and GREAT post! FF you hear me Lizzie is Right! Your jealous!!!! He did not pick you FF, and you know that. He lied, and betrayed his W and then he lied and betrayed you. So what if he goe's after another woman it's his problem NOT your's. You need to get a grip girl and suck it up the best you can. Having your H in contact with him is making this much worse. You need to talk with your H FF and tell him the truth! Don't mean to sound harsh, but I would hate to see you destroy your life and I'm afraid you will do that if you continue to hold onto this whole thing! AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
mopar crazy Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 I actually agree w/ you Lizzie, great post!!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 Lizzie is right and I agree with what's been said so far FF. I just hope you don't feel ganged upon here, that isn't my intention and I'm sure it isn't anyone else's either... Re-read your last post - What your exMM is doing is where you need to be. I know everybody says I should tell my H, and I am willing to pay for my mistake,but I don't think my kids should and that is the only reason I am not telling my H and he will never tell his W. Then at the end of the day, you are making it worse for yourself by allowing the exMM to bug you so much. If you don't want your H and kids to know, then let all this go. Hoping to punish him and make him feel as bad as you do now is only the ego...let it go. We can't move now because of the way the market is now and so I guess this is how it is going to be for awile. I will forever be angry and upset and xmm will continue being nice to my family and compartmentalize the whole thing like it never happened. The part I bolded, THIS is where your mind frame has to be (you need to learn to compartmentalize too)- Or atleast show this when he's around. You say you will 'forever' be angry and upset...Why? You HAVE your husband, and your children. Your H doesn't really know what happened, if he did, trust me, he would NOT be having ANY conversations with the exMM. So, I hate to say it, but now it all comes down to ego and your mind. You tell yourself ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and mean it. Say it 100x times a day if need be, let your thoughts go into action until you see for yourself that you CAN get the exMM out of your mind forever and you won't care at all, let alone be hurt. FF, you BOTH chose your spouses, that's the bottomline. Be happy that there really is no big drama going on, I mean, it could be worse... Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 I seriously don't know how he can look at my H, but that is a whole other story.I don't know how YOU can look at your husband! You knew what you were getting into when you started with him... he lied to his W.. you lied to your H... so it's pretty much the same scenario on both sides... It was OK when she lied to her husband, it was OK when he lied to his wife, but it's not OK that he lied to FF. This phenomenon is called double standards? Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 19, 2007 Author Share Posted November 19, 2007 I didn't read the whole thread but I have said it before and will say it again.. Telling the W is sooooo CRASS!!!!! If he was still feeding you with all the lies you'd be all over him still... but you found out that he lied to you (oh what a surprise!!!! ) now you want to hurt her? I have absolutely no respect for people who 'kiss and tell' sorry but I don't whether it's the MM, the OW, the OM... whoever... it's just sooo wrong. Just swallow your pain and your pride and move on.. your jealousy is ruining your life.. you don't want him to replace you... and you know he will... that enrages you... more than anything. You knew what you were getting into when you started with him... he lied to his W.. you lied to your H... so it's pretty much the same scenario on both sides... now he's moving on... and you can't ... and it sucks.. and you want to make him pay for your own mistake... tsk tsk tsk... shame on you!!!! Shame on you. Are you out of your mind. Ap I am surprised you ae chiming in on this whole thing. If you saw your xmm with someone else you would be out of your mind so look who is calling the kettle black. Second Lizzie you are missing the point of what I am saying. I don't care if he finds another woman. I know she would endure the same thing I have been through and I would feel sorry for her. He is not moving on because he is still trying to contact me and get under my skin. I am the one trying to move on because I ended it. He would of still kept it going. I don't want him to pay for my mistake I want him to take some responibility for his mistake and know that friendship with me or family is impossible. He thinks as long as we are not sleeping together his conscious is clear-wrong. You so not know nor should you pretend to if he pulled up with all his lies today I would not be falling all over him . i would see through his narcissitic bull and tell him nothing. I don't care if you all want to gang up on me, but get your facts straight. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 19, 2007 Author Share Posted November 19, 2007 Lizzie is right and I agree with what's been said so far FF. I just hope you don't feel ganged upon here, that isn't my intention and I'm sure it isn't anyone else's either... Re-read your last post - What your exMM is doing is where you need to be. Then at the end of the day, you are making it worse for yourself by allowing the exMM to bug you so much. If you don't want your H and kids to know, then let all this go. Hoping to punish him and make him feel as bad as you do now is only the ego...let it go. WWiu yes right now everything is still raw and you bet I am going to be angry,but I sure as hell am not going to let him see it. He said hello to me and said I guess you are still ignoring me. Well i went in and screamed , but from the outside I looked like he was not even there. You ahve know idea how hard that is because yes I still havefeelings for them. What you all don't understand is they don't just vanish . Even though I am working on my m and am spending time with my kids and running a business. I am moving on the best way I can , but seeing him everyday and him trying to get reaction out of me requires alot of strength on my part and maybe you can't understand that, but I am doing the best I can. Maybe I should compartmentalize like him and continue the affair he would love nothing better. I do not want to punish him now I just want him to leave me alone so I can move on and the only way I can is to pretend he is dead. I cannot smile and I cannot be nice to him. Sorry that is not who I am. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 19, 2007 Author Share Posted November 19, 2007 First off I cannot control my h and if he wants to xmm and xmm wants to talk to him what can I do the answer is nothing. I am shocked by your post. You of all people should know what I am going through. One minute you guys are telling me to tell my h and the next you are telling me not too. Get your story straight, not that i would follow your advice after you have thrown me under the bus for Lizzie of all people. You are not much different than me ap and I can't believe now you are sounding like you are better than me because you got over your xmm before me. Well i guarantee if your xmm still wanted in you would be having the same hard time as me. Let's not forget you did not end it he did and if you ended it and he still kept coming back you would be having the same problems I am having. Well I am glad you are where you are, but remeber it was not too long ago you were where I am and you did not tell the W and yes I did tell my H about the emotional affair . Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 FF: You had a physical A and you lied to your H about it... If you truly want to be free, let it go...He can mess your life up as much as you can mess his up...How would your H feel if he knew you had had sex with MM? Please, just let it go and move on... Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 I didn't read the whole thread but I have said it before and will say it again.. Telling the W is sooooo CRASS!!!!! Am I the only one who read this right? Below is the quote that Lizzie jumped on. To me it says that FF was not going to tell her husband for the sake of her kids...and THE XMM was not going to tell his wife for the sake of his kids. My h went over to xmm to pick up kids and xmm asked what we had planned for holidays and what we had been up to. I hate the fact that he knows anything about my lifeat this point. I know everybody says I should tell my H, and I am willing to pay for my mistake,but I don't think my kids should and that is the only reason I am not telling my H and he will never tell his W. Did I read this wrong, because everyone seems to be jumping on the same bandwagon as Lizzie. While I know FF has considered telling the W, I see no evidence of it here. FF, this quote caught my eye.... I do not want to punish him now I just want him to leave me alone so I can move on and the only way I can is to pretend he is dead. I cannot smile and I cannot be nice to him. Sorry that is not who I am. I doubt that you will be able to move on as long as you live next door to him...based on my reading of your threads. While some can do this, I think the extent of your relationship will make it too difficult. He is doing everything to bring you back to him...or at least it seems to you, and you still have this affair as a secret between your H and you. I know how your feelings are regarding your children, but this will only work in the short term. In some way, this affair will be made public. Who do you want to be the one to tell..you or someone else?? I know for a fact he would not slip because he does not want his a*** kicked. They socialize,but mostly talk about small time stuff, weather, kids, etc. I seriously don't know how he can look at my H, but that is a whole other story. Guys DO slip up...trust me. It may not be intentional, but we do. And he may slip up to his wife. Or he may tell her HIS version of the story so that HE can clear the air. Do you think SHE will tell your husband? A good possibility? There are many ways for these things to become public. DO you want to control the story, or do you want him to control the story? Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 19, 2007 Author Share Posted November 19, 2007 Trust me this guy will not slip up he has been a loveless abusive marriage and endured it all for the money. He is very calculating and he will never slip up. He has come to far and he is too weak of a person to deal with the wrath of my H and his w. This is the reason he cannot leave. Not because he is love with his wife although in his warped sense he may care about her as a human being. He is staying for the money, his kid and because he is scared of his W and my H. So I would be 99% sure he would never tell. He is too much of a coward and too much of narcissitic to let that happen> Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 19, 2007 Author Share Posted November 19, 2007 FF: You had a physical A and you lied to your H about it... If you truly want to be free, let it go...He can mess your life up as much as you can mess his up...How would your H feel if he knew you had had sex with MM? Please, just let it go and move on... Thank you or pointing that out. I know i had a physical affair, but there were alot of feelings there. I loved him and was willing to leave everything for him. When he turned out to not be the person I thought he was and the one he portrayed in the beginning I was devastated. So yes I was having problems with my m and yes I had affair, but there was more to it. Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 Trust me this guy will not slip up he has been a loveless abusive marriage and endured it all for the money. He is very calculating and he will never slip up. He has come to far and he is too weak of a person to deal with the wrath of my H and his w. This is the reason he cannot leave. Not because he is love with his wife although in his warped sense he may care about her as a human being. He is staying for the money, his kid and because he is scared of his W and my H. So I would be 99% sure he would never tell. He is too much of a coward and too much of narcissitic to let that happen> Nothing in life is a certainty so that 1% could come and bite you on the ar** anytime. Do yourself a favour and tell your husband the TRUTH, he deserves to know. That way this can at least start to be fixed. As it is now its a bloody mess, something both you and the OM created. So things didn't work out the way you wanted and you were big enough to stop the affair....be big enough to tell your husband the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 Shame on you. Are you out of your mind. Ap I am surprised you ae chiming in on this whole thing. If you saw your xmm with someone else you would be out of your mind so look who is calling the kettle black. Second Lizzie you are missing the point of what I am saying. I don't care if he finds another woman. I know she would endure the same thing I have been through and I would feel sorry for her. He is not moving on because he is still trying to contact me and get under my skin. I am the one trying to move on because I ended it. He would of still kept it going. I don't want him to pay for my mistake I want him to take some responibility for his mistake and know that friendship with me or family is impossible. He thinks as long as we are not sleeping together his conscious is clear-wrong. You so not know nor should you pretend to if he pulled up with all his lies today I would not be falling all over him . i would see through his narcissitic bull and tell him nothing. I don't care if you all want to gang up on me, but get your facts straight. I am not out of my mind... I can read and what I read was this: "Well I have been in NC for about a month now and I still am so angry and upset. Everytime I see him I just ignore him. However, it is taking all of my strength not to rip him a new one. I am physically getting sick carrying all this anger. I am not being fair to my H because I am so irritable and when I see him with W which is everyday it is a constant reminder he picked her over me. I just saw him about two hours ago and I just pretended I did not see him. I came inside and screamed. I can't seem to get passed all the lies and when I see himhe acts like no big deal. He is now searching for a new mw I just know it. He is hanging out at a place with his kids that other vulnerable married woman are at and he will feed them all the same lies he told me and will have another affair. I guess what I am upset about is that I was not even a person to him just a object to get what he wanted. I feel bad for the next gal and I think his W deserves to know what a scumbag is. I now don't care aout ruining my life by telling, but I can't ruin my kids. Maybe when my kids are out of the house and my h is gone I will tell her. Karma cannot come soon enough for him. I am living with my mistake,but it as if he never missed a beat. Oh affair with the neighbor -check. Water the lawn-check. I don't think Karma will ever get him!! So maybe I should intervene. I can't stand him being so smug. That is what is driving me crazy-it was all lies!!!! Lies -I love you, I want to move away with you-I will take care of you-You are my best friend- i care about you more than her. I put you ahead of everybody. I would never hurt you. I would do anything for you!!! When does all the hurt and anger go away. It seems to be getting worse for me-not better" I don't think I miss your point... You said he is not moving on... I say he is.. but you're not... You are the one who is carrying all the anger.. he's not...he will replace you and will not think about you anymore... that's his way of moving on... and it is eating you inside.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidden fruit Posted November 19, 2007 Author Share Posted November 19, 2007 It is not eating me inside because I know the lind of person he is so do me a favor and stay away from my threads. He is not moving on and that is irrevelant. This is the game he plays to try and control the situation and get back in. I think I know him better than you, He is carrying anger because he is on medication. What I don't need right now is you dime store psychology-shouldn't you be on thee prowl for your next mm. Oh and thanks for helping me I feel loads better-go to another forum-the one called haters. Link to post Share on other sites
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