Starting Over

[KrZyJLyn]

For the past 10, almost 11, months I've been refusing a "real" relationship. I've has so many bad ones in the past (although looking back, some of the stories seem comical now) that I had just thought that I needed a healing break. I don't know if that's what my 10 months of friends with benefits and one night stands did - but I do see things differently now.

 

I was fine, refusing a man, just "being with" men, hanging out and partying hard with my girls... I learned that every man I'd ever met was an ******* one way or the other, I learned that they bring more pain and sorrow than anything else, they all lied, fronted, abused or some other negatively viewed action.

 

I haven't met any men (other than my 3 best friends, who are like my brothers) who seem decent and realistic. That's just to start... There are so few men out there (while I do believe they exist, I'm not sure I've ever met one) who are chivalrous, gentlemanly, compassionate and genuine.

 

In any case, I left the dating game and went to pure animalistic desire mode. It worked for those 10 months, but starting maybe a few weeks ago, I've begun to realize that I'm lonely... I do think it would be good to have someone.

 

At the same time I don't want to go looking for some one - just to get hitched up with another ******* jerk who is conceited and arrogant - completely unconcerned with the relationship.

 

What would you suggest? I'm only 20 - so there are some 21+ scenes that I can't do, but I am looking for something maybe to help get me back in the game. I'm in college, but I'm around the same people every day (and they aren't typically the type to be interested in a girl like me). I just want to get into a "dating" scene -casual friendly outings. Every relationship I've had has been a meet and connect kind of deal, and I'm assuming that's part of my problem (possibly any way).

 

I'm just looking for something that could help... anything would be great.