Jasmine8719 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and are very very happy together, we communicate very well and tell eachother whatever is on our mind, we love eachother and always talk about how we look forward to moving in together and possibly taking the next step. He graduated from highschool about 6 years ago and had a high school sweetheart he dated her for 3 years. He told me they broke up because they just grew apart (they dated sophmore-senior). He always still wanted to be friends with her but couldn't speak with her because of her new boyfriend. I guess he found out like a year or two ago that she started doing... i guess drugs and her life has been going down hill. I think he asked one of his friends if he heard anything about her and how she was doing (this was a while ago). He found out that she had moved away with her boyfriend and he seemed upset because she was throwing her life away and still doing drugs. About 2 weeks ago we went to a baby shower and all of his old friends from highschool were there, he again asked about her and said that she is still going down hill and how he felt bad for her and they just kept talking about her right in my face, he obviously still cares for her. I asked him in the car if he still loved her and he said no, were two different people than when we were in highschool. I let it go cause i knew he wouldn't lie to me. Two days ago we were sitting outside by the fireplace, and he told me that he talked to her, she moved back up here. He said that he could tell that she was messed up from whatever she was on. He said that she just talks so fast and mumbles and just isn't right. I asked if he was going to go see her and he said yes. I told him that I hope she gets her life strait again and he said she doesn't have a choice. In all occasions that he has talked about her with me, he always says something like I love you, or gives me a compliment, or something I guess to reasure me that nothing is going to happen between them. I feel like he still cares for her and Im not sure if its right for him too. I think he feels like if they didn't break up she wouldn't be in such a mess and i think he feels responsible to help her. They shared a special time in his past and I feel like Im going to be put second to her now, and Im not sure how Im suppose to feel about the whole thing. Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Never ask anyone you love to make a choice. You will never get the results you intended. He loves her. It's a part of him that happened before you and you need to know that this comes with him (part of his package). It's really your choice of whether you can live with his present past or if you cannot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jasmine8719 Posted November 13, 2007 Author Share Posted November 13, 2007 No it's not about him making a choice , He doesn't love her, i think he cares for her... Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 No it's not about him making a choice , He doesn't love her, i think he cares for her... Was she his first love? With my first love things ended on a good note if you can say it ending was on a good note. But if he ever got on drugs and I heard about it I would be concerned. We just always clicked- even after we didn't date. I would try to help him and try to help him. I would not get reinvolved with him though on a continual basis out of respect for my husband. I would also make sure my husband was aware of what's going on. In a dating sitch it's different. If you're sure though that he has no feelings for this girl and you can trust him, I'd be okay with it- unless he started seeing her on a regular basis. Link to post Share on other sites
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