Should I be ashamed?

[annieo]

 

Well I guess that's the update for now, and yes I'm still emotionally stressed out with the church, and I really hope that my family will finally give me a choice.

 

Can I ask for prayer requests here? Because I think I need them.

 

I think you are stressed out by the judgmental attitudes of the parishioners towards you, as you mentioned in your OP. Was Christ judgmental? He hung out with all kinds of "sinners" (some who were, some who weren't really, IMO) and welcomed them, loved them, if we are to believe the bible stories. He saved a woman who was being stoned to death for adultery, for crying out loud. He didn't pick up some rocks and join in the fun because she was a baddie, breaking the rules.

I suspect that what is troubling you is not God, or the idea of church, but the sanctimonious attitudes expressed by the people at your church. And I would be hesitant to be part of that crowd, too.

If they were truly following the edicts of God and Christ, they would have made you feel glad to be back, oh prodigal one. I'll pray for you, but I think they need prayers more than you, to see how their actions are driving people away.

[disgracian]

What you need is a change in your situation; prayer won't do that.

 

Cheers,

D.

[annieo]

By the way, I feel a twinge of guilt when I don't get to mass (which is often), but I don't feel ashamed. Mind you, I don't have a family who gets on my case about it, which helps.

But don't doubt that whatever messages you are getting from the people around you, God loves you and will judge you on your actions, who you are, not your attendance record. Again, just my opinion.

[andysw]

By the way, I feel a twinge of guilt when I don't get to mass (which is often), but I don't feel ashamed. Mind you, I don't have a family who gets on my case about it, which helps.

But don't doubt that whatever messages you are getting from the people around you, God loves you and will judge you on your actions, who you are, not your attendance record. Again, just my opinion.

 

If God judges me for who I am, then why won't they allow themselves to see me that way? If it's for the same typical reasons/statements like "you're too quiet", "I don't like him, because he's quiet", "I'm not used to this guy", "speak up more, it's not wrong to make friends", or anything like that, then they're not good enough reasons for not talking to this "so-called" shy person. Could atleast make an effort and help me by getting me out of my shell. Even I would do something like that if I see someone going through the same situation as I am now if I wasn't so sad (and I'm determined to proof that). This is one of the reasons why I don't like going to this church.

 

But, I know church isn't about making friends, it's about worshipping and praising God.

 

Sorry if I may sound redundant, but I feel I just needed to let it out.

[annieo]

If God judges me for who I am, then why won't they allow themselves to see me that way? If it's for the same typical reasons/statements like "you're too quiet", "I don't like him, because he's quiet", "I'm not used to this guy", "speak up more, it's not wrong to make friends", or anything like that, then they're not good enough reasons for not talking to this "so-called" shy person. Could atleast make an effort and help me by getting me out of my shell. Even I would do something like that if I see someone going through the same situation as I am now if I wasn't so sad (and I'm determined to proof that). This is one of the reasons why I don't like going to this church.

 

But, I know church isn't about making friends, it's about worshipping and praising God.

 

Sorry if I may sound redundant, but I feel I just needed to let it out.

 

You don't sound redundant at all. And it's good to let it out, so don't apologize. LS is the perfect place to do this.

The reason why people aren't perfectly loving and non-judgmental is because we aren't God. Some people get pretty close in terms of loving behavior, but most of us are imperfect and won't always treat others with the fairness and acceptance that most of us deserve.

I save my contempt for the real baddies, the people who knowingly use and hurt others, exploit others, especially the vulnerable, on purpose and with intent. That is where I am not like God, because God can forgive everything, if we repent and try to make amends and change. Certain things (child abusers who publish their rapes on the internet, for example) I could not forgive. Maybe I am wrong for saying this, but I hope there is a hell for those types.

What you have done does NOT compare to the evil that exists in the world. Give yourself a break, and stop worrying so much what small-minded people have to say about you. Even if they are family. They have their own limitations, so try to forgive them.

You won't live at home forever, hopefully, and then you will be able to create a life and a community around you that is supportive, or so I hope.

I'll send another prayer up to the big guy for you!

Oh, I just thought of something else I read on another post, where the person referred to God as their friend. Not out to get them, find fault, but a buddy who sticks by you whether your wrong or right, on your best behavior or messing up. I love that image. God is your friend. He's rooting for you.

[D-Lish]

...I think you are stressed out by the judgmental attitudes of the parishioners towards you, as you mentioned in your OP. Was Christ judgmental? He hung out with all kinds of "sinners" (some who were, some who weren't really, IMO) and welcomed them, loved them, if we are to believe the bible stories. He saved a woman who was being stoned to death for adultery, for crying out loud.

 

Christ was a Nomad who did not have an established church or building that he forced people to gather at every Sunday. He roamed and spread his philosophy on the open road... Not within the Temple.

 

Paul was responsible for establishing the construction of buildings (parishes) in order to bring people together for worship.... not Jesus.

 

I am not religious, but I have read the Bible from cover to cover, and I have studied religious philosophy. You are not doing anything horrible by concentrating on other aspects of your life while at the same time maintaining and respecting your beliefs.

 

Jesus was similar to Socrates in many ways. Neither philosopher recorded anything in writing. Everything we know about them came from others who found their teachings worthy of keeping record of. Both men died as a result of asking too many "questions". I guess what I am trying to say is that- if you are a religious person.... then you know the story of Jesus, and you know that he changed history because he questioned things that he believed to be corrupt or simply worthy of inspection and debate.

 

You are far from being a sinner just because you don't attend church every Sunday. I find it reprehensible that your family and church would use such horrible guilt in order to force you to do things THEY think you should do.

 

Do you honestly believe that your God would condemn you as a sinner because you don't go to church every Sunday? Please keep in mind- JESUS WAS A NOMAD.... he did not preach from a pulpit and demand people gather at a certain place and time to listen to him speak. What he did was make his own path to people and places... and he spread his philosophy about life, love and truth in that manner. Never in a building every Sunday. He did not attend Temple as the Jewish rules demanded.

 

I hope I am making some sense to you. I think that your family and church members are breaking every rule in their book by casting you out of their social circle. It is not you that has the problem....

 

You can have your faith, you can have your beliefs, and you can be a good person without having to show up at a building made of brick and drywall every Sunday.

 

I think it would be a GREAT idea to find yourself a different church.

Loving and accepting human beings who adhere to the general rules of your faith should not be ostracizing you for having questions or forging a different path.... they should be embracing you and helping you achieve your goals. I'm sickened by the abuse you have endured.

 

I have to tell you- my early experience with the church really jaded me. Even as a young child I saw the hypocrisy all around me, and it just never felt good, or right.

 

Never, ever, let anyone lead you to believe you are a bad person because you have goals and aspirations.... because you have questions, because you want to work on being an individual. That is what being human is all about. It's the people who ask difficult questions that have changed the world we live in today.

 

The silly thing is that IF all the people in your life that are making you miserable simply supported you.... you wouldn't be questioning leaving them....

 

I missed some info... how old are you?

If you are old enough to get out of the toxic environment you are in at the moment... I think it would be a wonderful experience for you to get out on your own for a while and take some pressure off yourself.

 

The story you have to tell really upsets me.

hang in. Hope you don't mind a non-religious person chiming in on your post.

;-)

[andysw]

Christ was a Nomad who did not have an established church or building that he forced people to gather at every Sunday. He roamed and spread his philosophy on the open road... Not within the Temple.

 

Paul was responsible for establishing the construction of buildings (parishes) in order to bring people together for worship.... not Jesus.

 

I am not religious, but I have read the Bible from cover to cover, and I have studied religious philosophy. You are not doing anything horrible by concentrating on other aspects of your life while at the same time maintaining and respecting your beliefs.

 

Jesus was similar to Socrates in many ways. Neither philosopher recorded anything in writing. Everything we know about them came from others who found their teachings worthy of keeping record of. Both men died as a result of asking too many "questions". I guess what I am trying to say is that- if you are a religious person.... then you know the story of Jesus, and you know that he changed history because he questioned things that he believed to be corrupt or simply worthy of inspection and debate.

 

You are far from being a sinner just because you don't attend church every Sunday. I find it reprehensible that your family and church would use such horrible guilt in order to force you to do things THEY think you should do.

 

Do you honestly believe that your God would condemn you as a sinner because you don't go to church every Sunday? Please keep in mind- JESUS WAS A NOMAD.... he did not preach from a pulpit and demand people gather at a certain place and time to listen to him speak. What he did was make his own path to people and places... and he spread his philosophy about life, love and truth in that manner. Never in a building every Sunday. He did not attend Temple as the Jewish rules demanded.

 

I hope I am making some sense to you. I think that your family and church members are breaking every rule in their book by casting you out of their social circle. It is not you that has the problem....

 

You can have your faith, you can have your beliefs, and you can be a good person without having to show up at a building made of brick and drywall every Sunday.

 

I think it would be a GREAT idea to find yourself a different church.

Loving and accepting human beings who adhere to the general rules of your faith should not be ostracizing you for having questions or forging a different path.... they should be embracing you and helping you achieve your goals. I'm sickened by the abuse you have endured.

 

I have to tell you- my early experience with the church really jaded me. Even as a young child I saw the hypocrisy all around me, and it just never felt good, or right.

 

Never, ever, let anyone lead you to believe you are a bad person because you have goals and aspirations.... because you have questions, because you want to work on being an individual. That is what being human is all about. It's the people who ask difficult questions that have changed the world we live in today.

 

The silly thing is that IF all the people in your life that are making you miserable simply supported you.... you wouldn't be questioning leaving them....

 

I missed some info... how old are you?

If you are old enough to get out of the toxic environment you are in at the moment... I think it would be a wonderful experience for you to get out on your own for a while and take some pressure off yourself.

 

The story you have to tell really upsets me.

hang in. Hope you don't mind a non-religious person chiming in on your post.

;-)

 

No, I don't mind, you've mentioned some good points. Thanks.

 

I'm early-18 by the way.

[andysw]

My parents' friends that live near us that go to my church are discussing the possibilities about not having to go to the church that we go today and instead switch to a new church that's easy travel. It's been almost a year since the idea came up and nothing changed. A downside to this is money.

 

I sincerely hope that this new found church will form in a location near where we live (even if I may screw things up again), and I won't have to go to that church where I feel unwanted.

[Love Hurts]

Hi Andy,

 

This touched my heart. I didnt read the replies only your original and you got my attention.

 

Dont be ashamed. God moves in our lives in different ways.

Your moving on to the goal ... your dream and thats important.

 

God knows our hearts ... if we are in the building [Church] or in our car or someplace that God only knows where we are. He knows our hearts.

 

 

So as for our brothers and sisters in Christ... know that they too have much to learn in the Lord. Including myself in this... none of us are Christ...

 

If your fellow brothers and sisters that recognized you dint know you exited after such an absence.... GUESS WHAT?

 

You came for Christ and .....HE KNEW YOU WERE THERE.

 

The deper message: as you learn and grow in the Lord {likewise for all in Christ] Christ knows ...and He was there ...when "you" came to pay homage to HIM ... even when others of the body of Christ

miss their Q. by ignorance or choice. ...Christ knows.

 

I say: " its time to be more in Christ... Its time to stand alone in Him."

 

Go to pay homage to Christ and if others ignore you ... so be it.

 

One day we all stand alone... before HIM... and HE knows our hearts.

 

Live your life... do your best ... worship Christ and if others are beside you and with you ... Praise Jesus... if not ... so be it...

 

 

Dont fall for man or dont fall with man... stand for Christ... even if it means you stand alone...

 

God Bless you in you walk with the Lord.

 

Love your way

 

[ABrokenWing]

Are you a christian? And do you go to a church?

 

 

Sorry, it's been a while since I have checked this thread. Yes, I consider myself a Christian. I go to church a handful of times a year. But I thank God daily for the blessings he has given me.

[andysw]

Hi Andy,

 

This touched my heart. I didnt read the replies only your original and you got my attention.

 

Dont be ashamed. God moves in our lives in different ways.

Your moving on to the goal ... your dream and thats important.

 

God knows our hearts ... if we are in the building [Church] or in our car or someplace that God only knows where we are. He knows our hearts.

 

 

So as for our brothers and sisters in Christ... know that they too have much to learn in the Lord. Including myself in this... none of us are Christ...

 

If your fellow brothers and sisters that recognized you dint know you exited after such an absence.... GUESS WHAT?

 

You came for Christ and .....HE KNEW YOU WERE THERE.

 

The deper message: as you learn and grow in the Lord {likewise for all in Christ] Christ knows ...and He was there ...when "you" came to pay homage to HIM ... even when others of the body of Christ

miss their Q. by ignorance or choice. ...Christ knows.

 

I say: " its time to be more in Christ... Its time to stand alone in Him."

 

Go to pay homage to Christ and if others ignore you ... so be it.

 

One day we all stand alone... before HIM... and HE knows our hearts.

 

Live your life... do your best ... worship Christ and if others are beside you and with you ... Praise Jesus... if not ... so be it...

 

 

Dont fall for man or dont fall with man... stand for Christ... even if it means you stand alone...

 

God Bless you in you walk with the Lord.

 

Love your way

 

 

:laugh:that was very nice of you:laugh:

[andysw]

If you've never been ignored there before, then I think they ought to be ashamed. What, are they punishing you for being away? You'd think they'd be generous of spirit and be happy to see you. They have no idea why you were away...you could have been sick and in the hospital for all they knew...what kind of religion shuns people who actually go to worship?!

 

I have been ignored there before. It was when I was 13 when I began to feel neglected. Until mid-14 things went good. And by mid-15 things spontaneously went downhill. It was then at that age I began to miss many sundays to spend more time with homework.

 

It's a really confusing situation for me.

[andysw]

Has anyone ever been through a situation similiar to this before? If so, how did you deal with it?

[BlueSoul]

Has anyone ever been through a situation similiar to this before? If so, how did you deal with it?

 

I think everyone experienced this as you did, man. You just have to deal with it yourself. It's about independence.