I fell in love with a married man

[NoraRose]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I knew he was married, but we were just friends. We got into a huge fight and didn’t really speak to each other for weeks. When we saw each other it was filled with scowling and cool words. One time I even went and locked myself in a bathroom and cried. I couldn’t believe myself, crying over a man who had upset me; I vowed never to let a man get to me so when I was younger; I couldn’t handle the tension anymore; I faced him with my complaints and to my surprise he listened, then he vented to me about his issues. We reach an agreement and lost some of the tension. The next day we meet at the spot of the argument and he realized that he was wrong, and apologized. I can not describe the joy and relief that flooded my whole body, on an impulse I leaned in to hug him and he did the same, but for some reason we both stopped and pulled away before ever touching. After that it was down hill, we were more open with each other, spent more time together, but I never let him know how my feelings had changed for him, he was married and I thought my feelings only went one way. But then he started to bring me lunch, coffee, and leaving me messages at work. I tried not to read into it as anything other the just being a good friend. One day he came and told me his wife got a job offer in another state, and she was leaving. She told him he had to go with her now or don’t bother going at all. He asked me what he should do, at the time I thought he was honestly asking a friend for advice, but now I think he wanted me to ask him to stay. To make an already long story shorter he left and now I am miserable, I never told him how I felt and even now when we talk over the phone I keep the conversation light and friendly never going past were friends should be. But as I think about the time he lived so near I think he liked me too. As I talk to close friends and family about it now they told me there always seemed to be sexual tension between us, and the day before he left we went out to coffee and a movie, we didn’t say much to each other just hung out. Before he left the next day he cam to my work to say by and give me hug. It was the first time we ever touched and even then I was scared to touch him. For the first few days I said nothing to anyone and went upon life as usual. Then he text that he was back in town for the night to return the u-hal and wanted to get together. I new if I saw him I might do something I would regret so I didn’t answer his text. I regret not answering his text, not knowing what could have happened, but at the same time I remember I could have ruined so many lives by trying to be with him. I try for a few weeks not to talk to him but as soon as he text to see why I haven’t talked to him I can’t help but reply. After every text it gets harder and harder to say good by. I need help? Iv been good enough to stay away, but how can i say good by. [/sIZE][/FONT]

[MatsumeKazuo]

What is very apparent here is that you have been respectful of his relationship with his wife. And if he feels the same way that you do, then he needs to make the first move - being to leave his wife.

 

I think you should lose all contact with him. Tell him that you can't have a relationship with him anymore. Maybe even think about telling him how you feel. If he wants to pursue a relationship with you, then let him do the right thing. You're only going to hurt yourself more.