Marriage Proposal Discussion

[clynn]

My brother is getting married in the Spring.

They've been scoping out places to get married, picking out rings, have roughly talked about dates.

 

But.....he hasn't propsed yet.

 

They are definitely getting married, and he definitely wants to. And he is even going to propose. And of course the answer will be Yes as they're talking about it all the time. It is quite funny really.

 

 

This raised a dicussion between my boyfriend and I.... he raised the question about whether proposals are really necessary. He thought that if there is talk about getting married, then the couple has agreed to enter into the marriage contract. Why lay it all on the line in a proposal........

 

It makes me think about it too. When asked "Why" the best I could come up with was:

- It is tradition

- Because girls like it.

 

Even made me wonder about the proposal tradition ......

 

Thoughts / Comments / Feedback ? ? ? ? ?

[quankanne]

I think it is, because it's a definite statement about the status of your relationship. How many folks have you seen on these boards asking when their loved one is going to marry them after they've lived with them awhile? It's important to *those* folks, apparently.

 

actually, talking about marriage is a good thing, because it helps give you an idea of how the other person views a future with you, but you can't be 100 percent positive unless that proposal is made.

[Tanaquil]

For me, I'd say that talking about getting married shows some kind of committment but it's not solid--just discussing the possibilities, not necessarily the actuality. The proprosal and ring represent a solid tangible committment to each other. Of course, for some people, maybe a proposal isn't necessary but I still think that it's a nice touch that just makes things a little more real.

[allina]

That's interesting, I've had the debate in my mind several times.

 

In a way a proposal is so memorable and special. I'm looking forward to being proposed to.

 

On the other hand proposals today are so artificial. Usually the woman has already picked out her ring and knows when it's coming, I also dislike the over commercialization of the whole thing.

[clynn]

On the other hand proposals today are so artificial. Usually the woman has already picked out her ring and knows when it's coming, I also dislike the over commercialization of the whole thing.

 

Yah, I think this is where my boyfriend is coming from with that discussion.

 

That being said, I still want to be proposed to! (Of course, he and I haven't discussed marriage other than in general terms or when talking about other people).

 

Of course I'd be perfectly happy with being surprised! With the ring and everything, I don't need to pick out my own ring, being surprised would be more important. It would also be perfectly fine if I was proposed to without a ring at all. Then the ring could come later.

[heatherd1201]

I am engaged right now. We lived together for a year before he asked and we had discussed many "marriage related" things before he asked. We talked about what we would want our wedding to be- how long of an engagement- how long to wait before kids- how we would raise our children, etc. So I had it in the back of my mind that eventually we WOULD be married because of all the discussion and because we agreed on most of the things.

I did not pick out my ring, I never even looked at rings with him (not even window shopping). The day that he proposed to me (August 4th) I was in shock. I had no idea that it was coming. Even though we had lived together for a year and talked about getting married extensively I had no clue it was coming then.

It was so nice to be surprised like that. Its traditional and much of our life is not!

[clynn]

I do think I'd like to be surprised.

 

The trick is to give him the word I want to get married without spoiling any surprise. But I would expect he'd want some kind of gurantee before laying it on the life.

 

Course I don't have the nerve to even broach such a discussion!