Need Closure

[20&Hurting]

I was with my gf for 15 months when she decided we will breakup so she could go to college away from home. This was the most amazing person I had ever met and we were such a perfect match, I just couldn't understand why she would want to give up what we had. I would've tried the long distance thing, moved with her, pretty much anything to stay with her, but I didn't offer any solution to stay together when we discussed it. I figured that if she is already to the point where she is willing to breakup with me, she obviously doesn't feel the same way about me that I feel about her and there is no point of trying to stay together. We've been broken up for about 9 months now and it was EXTREMEMLY difficult on me at first, but it seemed like it was so easy on her. I am doing MUCH better now with the situation, however, I still think about her everyday. I have no desire to be back with her so I'm not really sure what my problem is, but it just seems like I should feel quite a bit better about things by now. We talk once every few weeks on the phone and she even visits every now and then. I've dated a few people not very seriously and she has had at least one sexual relationship since we seperated. I really think we were a perfect match and thats why I think I still have problems dealing with it. I really wish I could completely get over her and I think the only way for me to do this is to completely cut contact. Any ideas?

[Tony T]

Cutting all contact is the way to go. It sounds painful but in the longrun it will be much easier on you that hearing from her and seeing her now and then. Perhaps in a year or two, when you have had a chance to heal, you will see her differently and you can have some interaction with her. By that time, it's doubtful you'll care to.

 

It's really hard to let go. You don't really want to. But the days we have on this earth are precious and your relationship with her is over. Make it official. No more contact whatsoever.