She wants to make up with ex...

[AngeloWolfe]

I'll pass on the little details, and hit you with the important marks. My girlfriend and I have been dating for several months, and are at the point of 'Loving each other forever.' Both of our ex's have come in and out of the picture to try to mess our relationship up, but we've stood together through it all. However... something's happened to test my trust with her.

 

If you remember me posting so long ago, I just recently got out of a relationship where I walked into my ex cheating on me. It was so horrible.. and I thought that I had gotten over the pain completely. However, my current girlfriend (Candace) hasn't been talking to most of her friends because they hang out with her ex-boyfriend. So... she wants to 'make amends' with him so she cna start talking to all her buddies again.

 

Do you see where this is kind of bothering me...? I can't shake the feeling that something underhanded is about to happen. Even though she's so much more trustworthy than my ex - and just because she hurt me doesn't mean everyone I date is going to cheat on me. I want to say that her talking to him again doesn't bother me, and that I can live with it and look past it. I... I don't want to be hurt again. Can anyone offer some advice?

 

<3,

 

Maxwell

[cj1988]

Hello, yes I can see where that would bother you. If these so called "buddies" cared about her at all, she should not have to do anything about the EX. She needs to pick a new life with you or an old life with what seems to be losers !

[Bryanp]

If the roles were reversed you know she would accept this. If you accept this then you would be a fool.

[oppath]

What you should not accept is them being one-on-one buddies, but nothing is wrong with making amends so they can be civil in group situations. However, all she can do is say "hey, we had our falling out, and I don't feel we can be close friends because of the drama, but it would be nice if we could be friendly towards each other. I very much would like that since we share mutual friends. Break ups suck, but you are a great person, and it would be nice if we could make amends so there is no more drama with everyone."

 

I'd see nothing wrong with that. What I would find fault with would be them going to dinner and hanging out one-on-one.

[OD3]

Wow. You seem to be going through exactly what im going though. I was also cheated on in a horrible way and it messed me up for nearly a year. (in fact, part of it still hurts a little).

 

I met my Gf here in London, and we are also at that point of "loving each other forever", although she broke up with her bf from London, he lives in Oz. Now she has gone back to Oz and I am going there in a few days to stay with her. I also have issues with her seeing her ex, because they never broke up on bad terms. I dont think they do see each other, but they have mutual friends and are bound to run into each other.

 

I think maybe its the whole "once bitter twice shy". Your mind is just in defense mode so that you dont get hurt like you did the first time (im sure that crushed you). Im not one to practise what I preach, but eventually you have to let go and just "trust". And let everything wash away. All the bad thoughts and put your trust in her.