Heart Out....

[spike7165]

I have got another post running her, but I need to let this out and this is the only place I have....

I want to say to all the people that cheat out there, how could you, how can you have so little respect for another human being that you can crush their dreams, desires and future in one selfish act....

I want to say to my ex-girlfriend, I was a good, caring man who would never do what you did to my worst enemy and continue to do now. It is unacceptable to play two guys off against each other, to play with their feelings, to act like a bitch.

I want to say that men always get it in the neck as being the ones who hurt women, who have affairs and lie and cheat but what about the good men out there who try and make a family and home and work 18 hours a day to have it thrown back at them in the most vile way possible. I have seen behaviour that is so evil and deceptive it has made me question the way I was brought up to see women.

Why treat people/women with respect, decency, love, money and family when they run off to an ******* who is treating them like **** yet that is attractive to them..

 

To anyone who is going through this and has lost their love and future, and knows like I do the person is wrong and **** but still loves them I am with you and feel for you so much, crying like me alone in an empty home.

 

And for the people who do this to their partners....f*k you, there is no excuse you immature pathetic people. Have the guts to work on your relationship or finish it then move on. What the hell is wrong with you?

[zilverenvlinder]

May I add on to your post, spike?...

 

Anyone who cheats on their significant other is a disgusting, twisted, insignificant human being who has no conscience. I'm not talking about morals. I'm talking about twisting a knife into the heart of someone you claim to love and care about and leave them for dead.

 

Because you might as well. After you cheat on them, and they find out, they will feel worthless, ugly, disgusting, vile, and stupid for months and years to come. They will FEEL dead. I don't give a f*ck if you tell them or if they find out themselves. Because it will come back to haunt you, and karma is a freakish b*tch.

 

If you don't have the balls to tell your partner that you don't want to be with them anymore, and never want to see them again, then you are a selfish and worthless pig. Anyone who cheats on the person they claim to love is a narcissist and will ultimately never care about anyone but themselves.

 

So you can cheat on your wife or husband or fiance or girlfriend or boyfriend all you want, and then feel inwardly superior about how "sneaky" you are that they never found out, but someday it will bite you in the ass so hard you won't have any way out.

 

And may the good people who have been hurt of the world be peaceful in their loyalty to their partners and know that, while it hurts now, karma is as sweet as it is vicious and your comeuppance will come.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Great vent, get it all out. Because people who are unremorseful cheaters tend to get it back in return in one way or another!

[squeak]

Just the idea of cheaters walking among us makes me sick.

Who do these egotistical delusional freaks think they are dealing with?

My theory is if you have lost interest in a relationship-THEN LEAVE ya dumb freak. What is with the double life and the secrets and the hiding and the driving the person you *love* crazy while they ask you questions?

 

Seriously-no one wants your cheating ass once they know you are cheating-don't play the part of the wanted lover. You are only wanted by two because you are lying to one or both! Not because you are so great, dumb ass!

[Trialbyfire]

And for the people who do this to their partners....f*k you, there is no excuse you immature pathetic people. Have the guts to work on your relationship or finish it then move on. What the hell is wrong with you?

Hear, hear!! Great thread. Let it all hang out.

[Krytie TV]

Some fine people make stupid mistakes. Just because people make mistakes doesn't mean you're better than them. Just my thoughts.

[spike7165]

Krytie,

This wasn't a rant about people making mistakes, although unpleasant it is not a rant against people who are otherwise good who make one drunken mistake one night.

This is a rant against the unpleasant thoroughly reprehensible actions of people both men and women who pretend to love you for their own means, who deceive and manipulate in the most convincing way and keep you hanging on because you love them only to break you heart again and again until you are done with everything and they have taken everything from you.

It's those evil, deceptive people I have a problem with, when they have someone good at home who tries hard for them they just run off sometimes several times to somebody inferior just for reasons of fun or something else silly.

Those people I have a big problem with. Grow up.

[Cobra_X30]

Some fine people make stupid mistakes. Just because people make mistakes doesn't mean you're better than them. Just my thoughts.

 

Mistake = An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness.

 

Those who possess the underlined traits, are not fine people. In fact I would be more likely to define them as a waste of biochemicals!

 

I can honestly say, that where someone to cheat on me... I have enough of an evil and vindictive streak that I would find a way to make them regret it forever!

[Geishawhelk]

Lots of hatred, resentment, anger and judgement going on here.

And I can understand it, and I'm not judging it, just saying it like it is.

may I ask, does it really make you feel any better saying it, putting it out there and expressing your feelings?

I would hazzard a guess not. Not to any great degree, although there's the chance that you feel better than you would, if you were to bottle it in.

I'm not saying you don't have a right to have these feelings, of course you have.

I'm not saying you don't have a right to vent, either.

What I am saying is that by expressing yourself now, and by getting it off your chest, it should ideally give you the opportunity to now let go, and move on.

But will you?

Have you?

Can you?

The best part about going through this, is that it is an exceptionally wonderful opportunity to develop, heal and grow.

 

I've been through this.

And hell is a mild way of describing where I was at.

But the moment I realised that by hating, I was hurting, and by letting go and allowing things to be, I was healing, I began to experience a wonderful difference in the way I felt.

Practising Compassion, Kindness and forgiveness, doesn't let them off the hook.

It lets you off the hook.

healing, feeling better about yourself, and more accepting of their flaws and fractures, is an amazingly constructive way of being more noble, more complete and more human than you would ever think possible.

 

Right now, as far as you're concerned, I'm talking crapoola, and my comments may not be welcome.

But trust me - of the two options, I prefer Contentment to Resentment.

[Krytie TV]

Mistake = An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness.

 

Those who possess the underlined traits, are not fine people. In fact I would be more likely to define them as a waste of biochemicals!

 

I disagree, but we're all allowed our opinions.

[oppath]

I agree with the rant in general and with the OP, though Krytie does make a point: good people can make big mistakes. However, those people are not good for you and should be cut out of your life.

 

Cobra, you are giving me motivation to get revenge on my ex months after the fact, because she was cheating on me with her ex, who didn't know about me. The desire has always been there to tell him about me and how she clearly lied to him on numerous occassions to detroy her friendship with him and some mutual friends who are his best friends. I felt invisible when it all went down, and that visiblity is something I still crave. However, there is not much point in acting that way. Someday, she'll be ****ed in the ass, and it is going to be big, like a two liter bottle of cement shoved up her ass.

 

She cheated on me, doesn't tell me about it though is acting more weird than someone is who just loses interest, then asks me to be friends with benefits, I angrily say no, she says "you are just a joke to me anyway," then I found out about the cheating. I felt USED, OBJECTIFIED, INSIVIBLE, DEVALUED, BETRAYED, that our relationship was FRAUDULENT, WORTHLESS, like me and my feelings were just a JOKE. I agree, no-one should ever feel that way, but a lot of those feelings are also how I interpreted things. None of those things are true. SHe just wasn't mature enough to truly end the relationship with her ex while being in a new one, She was trying to spare my feelings.

 

Sadly, when someone tries to spare anothers feelings through lies, what they are really trying to do is spare their own feelings, because they don't want to be found out and risk the other person criticizing them and making them feel bad.

 

To the OP: let it all out. Anger is a necessary stage. You will cope. You will heal. You will move on to a BETTER relationship. Those things will happen to you.

[Cobra_X30]

I disagree, but we're all allowed our opinions.

 

Yes, but its too bad too few of us can agree. If we demanded more honesty from people as a society perhaps some of our problems would be more easily solved!

 

I agree with the rant in general and with the OP, though Krytie does make a point: good people can make big mistakes. However, those people are not good for you and should be cut out of your life.

 

Cobra, you are giving me motivation to get revenge on my ex months after the fact, because she was cheating on me with her ex, who didn't know about me.

 

Oppath, I think its best that you take the highroad!

 

I tend to fall to the dark side, dont tread my path, it requires a distict lack of heart at times. I could tell a story or two that would make your hair stand on end!

[Jasmine8719]

I have got another post running her, but I need to let this out and this is the only place I have....

I want to say to all the people that cheat out there, how could you, how can you have so little respect for another human being that you can crush their dreams, desires and future in one selfish act....

I want to say to my ex-girlfriend, I was a good, caring man who would never do what you did to my worst enemy and continue to do now. It is unacceptable to play two guys off against each other, to play with their feelings, to act like a bitch.

I want to say that men always get it in the neck as being the ones who hurt women, who have affairs and lie and cheat but what about the good men out there who try and make a family and home and work 18 hours a day to have it thrown back at them in the most vile way possible. I have seen behaviour that is so evil and deceptive it has made me question the way I was brought up to see women.

Why treat people/women with respect, decency, love, money and family when they run off to an ******* who is treating them like **** yet that is attractive to them..

 

To anyone who is going through this and has lost their love and future, and knows like I do the person is wrong and **** but still loves them I am with you and feel for you so much, crying like me alone in an empty home.

 

And for the people who do this to their partners....f*k you, there is no excuse you immature pathetic people. Have the guts to work on your relationship or finish it then move on. What the hell is wrong with you?

 

 

Bravo!...I'm sorry that your hurting. I just want to let you know that not all women are like that; and I hope your preception of women doesn't change. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years I could never ever hurt him. I honestly believe if you are a good man or a good woman, real love will come to you. So just feel sorry for her that she made a mistake and be happy your not with someone that doesnt give you the same love and respect back.

 

Good Luck!

 

-Jasmine

[oppath]

Oppath, I think its best that you take the highroad!

 

I tend to fall to the dark side, dont tread my path, it requires a distict lack of heart at times. I could tell a story or two that would make your hair stand on end!

Oh, I am taking the high road. It's just at times, months later, I feel hurt, because I felt invisible and invalidated. The quick fix is to say "A-ha!" and make myself visible, but it wouldn't remove those feelings. I'm aware of that. Though if I could do it over, absolutely, I would have contacted her ex and said "look, she was lying to you, and to me."

 

The best thing is just to learn: what warning signs were there that I ignored and in future relationships, to enforce my boundaries.

 

Nonetheless, the OP is going through a valid stage: anger. Anger is a healthy emotion and I welcome him to feel it to it's fullest, as long as he understands, feeling it is not the same thing as acting it out. For example, if you are angry with someone, you can just say "I am angry with you" instead of acting out that anger in subtle ways. You feel angry. Feel it deeply. It is ok. Just don't let that anger make you behave in an unhealthy way.

[Cobra_X30]

Oh, I am taking the high road.

 

The best thing is just to learn: what warning signs were there that I ignored and in future relationships, to enforce my boundaries.

 

Good to hear Oppath!

 

There is a whole world of evil things you can do to bad people. Everything from planting drugs on them and calling the cops, to simply sharing with others what kind of person they are.

 

None of it really makes you feel better.

[spike7165]

I just wanted to say it did make me feel better because where I am now I dont have a lot of friends to vent to. So you guys reading and responding did make me feel better.

I have thought about revenge....I did actually call him the OM, acted kind of nice but put the boot in, said he was welcome to the lying bitch, I was tired and didn't want a woman who ****ed him then came home and got into bed then ****ed me. Told him that she was difficult and to be very careful with her. That she was lying to him about lots of things he didn't know. Probably not make any different but made me feel better.

 

Acutally, my personal favourite was her wanting to f&&k me on the day she finished with me, so she could go to him and confront him about some things he had done with my c&M running down her legs and my smell on her.......how seriously f&&&&ed up is that! How many issues are there there. Splitting up with me, but confronting him with issues on the same day apart from the appaling view of sex in general.....You thought your ex was screwed up, that takes some beating! I am very open minded but that is plain crazy....

 

I have thought about other revenge, sabotaging their relationship, winding her up about other women, which I think is true. But at the end of the day he is an idiot and they deserve each other.

 

So I do believe that being positive and forgiveness is all good, but right now still, I can remember the evil things she has done, the lies to my face and blaming me for the problems. Most notably telling me I shouldn't be controlling and stop questioning her and trust her. She actually lied several time to my face the day she came home early in the morning from his bed that she would never do that to me or hurt me like that again. She swore she couldn't do it again and had a go at me for not trusting her.

 

I mean guys and gals, there are people who make mistakes, ok fine, there are people who have longish affairs, hidden and when it comes out try and do the right thing, then there are the people that lie, deceive and act in an horrendous way that truly destorys the other person and they continue to try and do it until the end to get what they want.

 

She is still to this day trying to get me to stick around and wait for her until she has had her fun with him, she calls him "entertainment"

 

Sorry for repeating something from another post, but got carried away...I hope the categorisation of mistakes and cheating makes some sense, there are degrees of mistake and cheating and my lying bitch of an ex falls into Grade 1, 100%, Totally Downright VILE!

[Chrome Barracuda]

I just wanted to say it did make me feel better because where I am now I dont have a lot of friends to vent to. So you guys reading and responding did make me feel better.

I have thought about revenge....I did actually call him the OM, acted kind of nice but put the boot in, said he was welcome to the lying bitch, I was tired and didn't want a woman who ****ed him then came home and got into bed then ****ed me. Told him that she was difficult and to be very careful with her. That she was lying to him about lots of things he didn't know. Probably not make any different but made me feel better.

 

Acutally, my personal favourite was her wanting to f&&k me on the day she finished with me, so she could go to him and confront him about some things he had done with my c&M running down her legs and my smell on her.......how seriously f&&&&ed up is that! How many issues are there there. Splitting up with me, but confronting him with issues on the same day apart from the appaling view of sex in general.....You thought your ex was screwed up, that takes some beating! I am very open minded but that is plain crazy....

 

I have thought about other revenge, sabotaging their relationship, winding her up about other women, which I think is true. But at the end of the day he is an idiot and they deserve each other.

 

So I do believe that being positive and forgiveness is all good, but right now still, I can remember the evil things she has done, the lies to my face and blaming me for the problems. Most notably telling me I shouldn't be controlling and stop questioning her and trust her. She actually lied several time to my face the day she came home early in the morning from his bed that she would never do that to me or hurt me like that again. She swore she couldn't do it again and had a go at me for not trusting her.

 

I mean guys and gals, there are people who make mistakes, ok fine, there are people who have longish affairs, hidden and when it comes out try and do the right thing, then there are the people that lie, deceive and act in an horrendous way that truly destorys the other person and they continue to try and do it until the end to get what they want.

 

She is still to this day trying to get me to stick around and wait for her until she has had her fun with him, she calls him "entertainment"

 

Sorry for repeating something from another post, but got carried away...I hope the categorisation of mistakes and cheating makes some sense, there are degrees of mistake and cheating and my lying bitch of an ex falls into Grade 1, 100%, Totally Downright VILE!

 

She calls him entertainment? She needs her spot blown up!!!

 

It aint revenege if it's the truth. Also what if he's just like you and not know she's messing around on him, he could be a cool dude and it is seriously her that has the issues.

 

I'd say tell. And let her deal with the fall out. You ever seen a man mess with two chicks and they find out about each other, then either they fight or combine forces and both of them trap the dude to make him confess, that's what you might need to do. She sounds like a toxic piece of trash anyway's!

[annieo]

So this other guy doesn't know about you? I agree - tell him. It's the least you could do. And then erase your ex gf from your memory. It sounds to me like she's a control freak sadist who is enjoying all of the drama/attention. So if you really want to get her back, stop playing the game. No contact, go completely incommunicado. If she tries to get in touch with you, pretend you don't know who the hell she is, hang up/shut the door/change your phone number and the locks. Freeze her out. She's not worth the energy of getting angry.

[spike7165]

I have called him and told him what she is like, thing is I think he is just using her for sex and doesn't really care.

I think she is the one with serious mental health problems. I am beginning to think she may be bi-polar.

The post above relating to the sex and describing him as "entertainment" which is the reason for breaking up with me is quite honestly disgusting.

I think she needs a doctor, but I'm not going to try and save her anymore.

I think this guy has bitten off more than he has anticipated though and the sexy, attractive woman he sees now can easily changed from minute to minute into an angry, vindictive bitch. He's in for a very rough ride, but the difference between him and me, is that I put up with it because we were a family with a home and business, they just have a hotel room in common so I know he is a laid back kind of guy, I don't think he will put up with her **** for very long.

[Chrome Barracuda]

I have called him and told him what she is like, thing is I think he is just using her for sex and doesn't really care.

I think she is the one with serious mental health problems. I am beginning to think she may be bi-polar.

The post above relating to the sex and describing him as "entertainment" which is the reason for breaking up with me is quite honestly disgusting.

I think she needs a doctor, but I'm not going to try and save her anymore.

I think this guy has bitten off more than he has anticipated though and the sexy, attractive woman he sees now can easily changed from minute to minute into an angry, vindictive bitch. He's in for a very rough ride, but the difference between him and me, is that I put up with it because we were a family with a home and business, they just have a hotel room in common so I know he is a laid back kind of guy, I don't think he will put up with her **** for very long.

 

Nope, and you wanna know what, she's gonna come back to reliable old you when the time comes. Shut the door in her face and keep it moving!