goodfriendeva Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 I have reason to believe my neice has and/or is being sexually abused. I dont really want to go in detail about it but her behavior has changed drastically in a year and continues to get worse. We use to be really close and she would share everything with me until she moved away. im feeling horrible that the first person who comes to mind to do this would be her father.. you see i was molested by him for 10 years. Im going to talk to her when the time is right. My question is if she tells me she has been and its by him how do i handle the situation?? My sister and my mother never believed me when i told them what happened to me so im more then certain they wont believe her either. (you would just have to know how they are to understand that) do i go straight to the police or social service?both? talk to my sister? i feel so horrible.. my plan was (stupid maybe) get the hell out of this town and not turn back.. tell my brother confront my mom and sister and say **** off. but now if what i feel is true.. it brings back old demons that im not sure im ready to face.. but obviouslt will have to because i love my neices to death and will do anything in my power to help and protect them. any advice input please.. im also in california if you are giving legal advice Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 My advice is not legal, but moral. This may be the most important task you are ever faced with. You MUST help your niece at all costs. Yes, go to the police, go to social services, set up a meeting at her school with counselers, but DO SOMETHING. You suffered at this monsters hands, and now you have a chance, not to go back in time, but to save someone else from the same fate. Please, please help your niece !!! Link to post Share on other sites
brothermartin Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 Im so sorry DEVA. I know what thats like first hand. The only advice I can give you is talk to your niece. If you tell her that this happened to you, she might open up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
konfuzd Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 Martin is absolutely right. You need to talk to your neice, empower her in bringing this guy down, she might not be as receptive to tell the truth to some strange social services worker, or cop. You obviously know what's going on in her head, she doesn't think anyone will believe her, she doesn't know who she can trust. You need to let her know it's not her fault and you two need to get help together. Please do the right thing, she's a precious, innocent child. If you know something is going on, and turn your back, you as an adult are allowing it to continue. Don't let that guilt ride on your shoulders. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goodfriendeva Posted November 15, 2007 Author Share Posted November 15, 2007 im sorry if you thought by my post meant i would coward away if i found this out.. that is not true at all.. as hard as it would be for me.. i will put my feelings aside for her. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 No one thought you were being a coward, we are all just really encouraging you to be BRAVE and do what your mother and sister wouldn't ( couldn't) do for you ! Definitley share your experiences with your niece when the time feels right, and take it from there. Just the fact that you are asking and want to help, shows that you are a good person ! I wish you all the luck in the world dealing with such a difficult situation ! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 15, 2007 Share Posted November 15, 2007 GFD, I was molested, too. If you do nothing about this, you will never forgive yourself. I understood you're talking about the same man who molested you, right? Chances are he IS molesting his daughter and possibly other girls have been, are and will be molested, too. I would suggest you find a way to dig out the truth from your niece and then report the case to the police of the center of social work (they will call the police). Don't do what didn't work in the past. The most difficult part will be to get the girl to confess. Don't underestimate this problem. It's better if you talk to her in person and watch her behavior. if you feel that you're right, put pressure on her. If you are convinced that she is molested, but she doesn't admit, just talk to a social worker who is in charge of her area. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Red Posted November 16, 2007 Share Posted November 16, 2007 I hope this link works since it's a pdf file. http://www.childsworld.ca.gov/res/pdf/EmergencyR_315.pdf Click on your county. You can call them anonymously & tell them exactly what you posted here. I admire your courage. I wish you well. Link to post Share on other sites
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